You and Emma have been best friends since the first day of school. Ever since she had come over to you and thrown dirt in some kids' eyes because he was teasing you about having two moms. In that moment she had become your saviour, your knight in shining armour, and ever since then she has been your biggest defender and your best friend. From that first moment, you had both just clicked, and ever since then you've told each other everything.
But now that's just the problem. You can't tell her that you hate her boyfriend, and you most certainly can't tell her that you're in love with her, because that would be ridiculous. Your relationship is strictly platonic, and that's the way it is meant to be. Emma's straight, and she has a boyfriend. The boyfriend you watched her pine over for half of your junior year, the one you half heartedly encouraged her to ask out, and the one you secretly cried yourself to sleep over for more than a month. The boyfriend who is a complete and utter jerk to Emma, the most lovely person on the planet, treating her like utter dirt. The boyfriend who goes days without texting her back, and even longer without seeing her because "Killian just needs his space right now."
You long to tell her the truth, that you've been in love with her ever since middle school. That you realised after she got into a fight with two girls who called you a dyke, just like your parents. She had been bloody and bruised at the end of it, but she had come out on top. Afterwards, when you were holding a damp paper towel to her split lip, she had told you that when it came to protecting you, she would always come out on top. But you know that you can't, your longing merely proves that to you. To tell her would be unfair, because in her own little way, Emma's happy. Recently her eyes have been sparkling like the sun on the ocean again whenever she talks to you, and you know that it's all down to Killian. Even if he does treat her like crap half the time.
There are moments when it's extremely hard for you to bite your tongue, for you to not say a word. So hard in fact, that you've made the inside of your cheek bleed more times than you'd care to count just from the effort of you restraining yourself. It takes a lot of physical effort for you to stop yourself because how can any one treat your Emma like that? It honestly doesn't make sense. Then again, Emma is the one weak spot in your armour. The walls you have built to keep every one else out are impossible to breach, but Emma has always been able to find her way over the top of them. It's a blessing in disguise, because every one needs some one. You need Emma and she needs you, and those needs used to correspond with one another. It's just that now, although you try to make them, they never seem to fully align any more.
You find yourself dreaming about her almost every night, you're best friends so you spend pretty much all your free time together, or at least you used to until Killian came along. It's ridiculous that you dream about her, because you spend all your time with her. Then again, your every thought is about her, but that's the way it's always been. You're entirely immersed by her, and no matter how hard you try, and you know that you really have truly tried, you're in too deep to escape now. Not that you're complaining, Emma is a wonderful human being, all laughter and smile and some form of innocence that you don't understand. So being in love with her, your best friend, isn't necessarily a bad thing. But from what you know unrequited love is a painful bitch, and you figure you can only go so long without getting burnt.
The last thing you want is for Emma to realise, because really, what if she freaks out? She's always been your biggest protector, but for her your relationship is completely platonic. You two have a comfort system, you can completely rely on one another for anything, but you can't help but think that there are some things even your closeness can't recover from. You can still remember the time Emma told you that you were like the sister that she never had. You've never cringed internally so much, what makes it worse is that you know that you were mere seconds from ruining everything. You'd both been drinking that night, but that one sentence had sobered you up completely.
Every day if gets harder and harder not to tell her. Especially when she looks at you and you forget how to breathe, how to think, how to live with your secrets. One day, you're say on the docks by the harbour, feet dangling off the end, shoes by your side. Everything is fine, and you're both laughing. She shoves you playfully and you mock scowl at her, but it melts off of your face when you see the way her eyes are sparkling and when you hear the breathless laugh that escapes her lips. For once it seems like it is just for you. It must be the madness of the moment, or your ability to function around her faltering more than normal or something, because you find yourself staring intently at her lips. Then they move and her words register and you look up in shock to find her smirking at you in a knowing way. In that moment she loses all the innocence about her, and you can't help but love her even more.
"What?" You hear yourself saying and you curse yourself for how shrill your voice is in that second. It almost comes out as a squeak. Though of course you're more dignified than that.
"I broke up with Killian" she says it in such an offhand manner that it shocks you completely, right down to the core.
You find yourself staring at her, too shocked for words. You're ecstatic at the same time, and you can feel a tiny part of yourself starting to hope, though you know that you shouldn't. You know that it's stupid, but as you study her face, you can't bring yourself to care. Before you can stop yourself you're kissing her, and she freezes and oh shit you know you've made some form of mistake. You're about to get up and run like hell, go home and cry to your mothers. But just as you're about to tear yourself away, to make your apologies and turn tail and run, you feel her move against you.
Her lips begin to move against yours, barely there at first, ghosting, questing, searching. Then she begins to move more firmly against your lips, pulling you closer to her. One of her hands buries itself in your hair, the other locking around your waist and holding you to her. You're trembling against her, breath puffing through your nose in pants, your lips never leaving hers. Your eyes are closed because you're worried that this is all just a dream, that if you open your eyes it'll all be over and that you'll find that none of this was ever real.
Her tongue brushes against your lower lip and that's when you stop holding yourself back. You figure that if this is a dream, and you wake tomorrow to find that your best friend is still very much loved up with her jerk of a boyfriend, well then at least you have your dream to console you. You practically throw yourself at her, kissing her back with everything you have, and for a second she pauses, and you feel her shudder against you. You're the first to pull away, and the whimper you hear is so delicious that you can hardly bear it. You're sorely tempted to reattach your lips to Emma's and never remove them again. If this is a dream, you don't want the kiss to be interrupted by something as trivial as you waking up though.
Your eyes flutter open, and you can see Emma is prettily flustered, her eyes glossed over, her cheeks prettily flushed, a dreamy expression on her face. It makes you giggle, which in turn makes her look at you, and the way she smiles at you makes your heart crash in your chest. It breaks you just a little bit to know that you've imagined this whole thing, because now you have to live with the dreams as well. You can feel your eyes brimming with tears, you feel the first one slide down your cheek and she catches it before it can go anywhere, wiping it away with the pad of her thumb.
Your lip trembles, and you fight to stop it, closing your eyes again. You feel her pull you against her body. She rests her chin on the top of your head, she's always had the height advantage, and the solidity of her and the realness of this moment seems like reality, but the whole situation seems like something you've concocted in your head. You find yourself asking "Is this a dream?"
Emma chuckles at that, all water and hitched breath.
"Look at me Regina." She pulls back and tilts your head up, angling it so that you can look into her eyes. "Does it look like you're dreaming?"
You nod your head slightly, because you've had almost this exact dream several dozens of times, never quite like this but close. She sighs and pulls you to her, never releasing your face, her eyes never leaving yours. Your lips meet again and you feel her sigh against them, as though she would be content to stay like this. This kiss is slow and searching and soft. You pull back again and search her eyes before you find what you need.
Of their own accord your hands come up to cup either side of her face, pulling her to you. This time you kiss and it's much more frenzied than before, all tongues and heat and passion. It's fast and slightly messy and it steals the air from your lungs. This time it's Emma who pulls away, gasping for air and looking thoroughly dazed.
She takes a deep breath in, releasing it with an "I love you" on the exhale, so quiet that you're not sure you're supposed to hear it. She hears your strangled gasp and you hear her gulp, watching as the panic takes over her face, she tries to take a step back but you're kissing her again already, words of love leaving your lips as your lips meet, again and again.
So maybe your relationship wasn't quite as platonic as you thought, but if this is the result you know you don't mind reevaluating everything.