This is by far not my first fan fiction, however it is my first Supernatural fiction. I of course do not own the boys or anything to do with Supernatural. I also do not own the Matthew Good song that I named my little fic by. The only real warnings here are that this is a Destiel fic. It is M rated because of BoyxBoy smut later on down the road. :).
This fiction was invented by myself after spending a while re-watching seasons 1 through 8. I LOVE the tension between Cas and Dean but I wanted to know what was going on BEHIND the scenes. I was also a bit tired of reading awesome fan fiction that while being awesome just didn't seem Cannon. My goal in writing this fic is to remain as completely cannon as possible while still getting Destiel ^_^
Prologue
Dean~
Dean could not remember the exact moment that he fell in love with Castiel. He has tried. Lord has he tried. He spent an entire evening with a bottle of whisky, trying to figure it out. He drank glass after glass, relishing the warm burn it caused as it ran down his throat to his stomach as he sorted his thoughts. But no matter how hard he tried he could not think of any one moment that would have made him feel this way. There was no lightning strike moment. No one time that he could remember looking at Cas and deciding with certainty that he was in love with him.
He wished that there were. He imagined it would make him feel better. Some life altering moment when he saw Castiel in a certain way and just knew that he was meant to be with him for the rest of his life. Maybe that would make him feel less... Wrong... Dean had always loved women. Every thing about them. Hell women was one of his weaknesses... so why was it that he loved Castiel with a ferocity that frightened him.
He had been with and loved Lisa sure... but that was before he had fully realized his love for Cas and the fact that the angel loved him in return. Dean could not explain it... but some how his love became stronger when he found out that Cas loved him too.
Castiel~
Castiel could however pin point the moment he fell in love with Dean. At first he didn't even know what it was or what it meant. He just knew that he would die for Dean. He would kill to keep him safe... It wasn't until he started interacting with the boys more did he realize exactly what it was that he felt.
It happened the moment he touched Dean's soul. He had spent days fighting his way through Hell. A holy light among darkness and demons. When he finally found him, his heart fell. The amount of pain this soul had been through... Uriel complained beside him that he believed this to be a waste of time and resources. They had already lost three angels and they still had to get out. Castiel reminded him that it was not their place to question. He reached out and grasped Dean's soul.
Castiel's eyes had widened then. He had seen many souls before. Touched some even. But it was the purity of heart this soul had. The loyalty and devotion to family. The amount of sheer sacrifice to complete strangers. He gripped that soul tight, perhaps tighter than than he should, closer to his chest than perhaps necessary. He knew that Dean was a man but that didn't seem to matter.