It had been months.
Bella Swan glared at the laptop screen, before slamming it shut. She refused to believe anymore. She refused to hope anything could come out of her twisted fantasy that they would just magically return and everything would be back to normal.
Miserably, she let her head fall to the desktop. Hands blurred in front of her, and hot hands cradled her head gently, dropping it painlessly.
"Be more careful, Bells." Jacob's voice was admonishing, and Bella just wanted it all to go away.
"Go away," she muttered.
Jacob looked at her in concern. "What's wrong, Bella? You sick or something?" He was hovering. He knew how much she hated hovering.
"Stop!" her reprimand was sharp. "Stop hovering, goddammit!" He winced away from the curse. "When did you start cussing like that?" he asked warily.
"Since you started hovering around like some fucked up mother hen," she retorted, lifting her head off the table and glaring at him. "I want some time alone," she declared. "Go back to the rez, Jacob."
He shook his head condescendingly. "Bells, I'm supposed to stay with you until the others have gotten her, right?" he enunciated clearly, babying her.
Her fists clenched and she gritted her teeth. She hated being babied.
She narrowed her eyes at him. "I'm not in the mood for your hormonal wolf bullshit," she warned him. These days, she never was in the mood for anything.
He bristled. "What crawled up your ass?" he muttered, running a hand through his hair as he turned away.
You, she wanted to scream. The pretense was suffocating. Why did she want this life again? This helpless, doe-eyed baby chick act? Innocent as a lamb, her ass.
I want in again, she realized sulkily. The restlessness and the frustration had all balled up into a supernova of longing; she had the itch again.
She needed to be Isabella Swan again. Not clumsy, sweet little Bella. She sneered at the name. Too weak for her taste. It did not do her, or her reputation, or her body count any justice.
Also, she was really sick of guys hitting on her, pretending they were Italian, when in truth they didn't know jackshit as they crooned, bella, beautiful!
She wanted back in so badly.
She heard the slam of the front door downstairs, and she froze. Jacob only snorted. "Charlie," he soothed her, turning to stroke her hair comfortingly. She ducked away from his touch irritably. He dropped his hands, not even angry. Bella had her days.
With a sigh of relief, she flew down the stairs, ignoring Jacob's calls for her.
"Dad," she greeted him uneasily, bouncing up on her heels. He nodded suspiciously at her. "Bella, what's up?"
"I'm restless," she said as delicately as she could manage, without betraying the inner turmoil just boiling underneath her skin.
He snorted. "I can see that. What's got you so worked up, kiddo?" She shook her head and frowned, meaning don't even ask Dad.
He nodded curtly as she bounded over to the kitchen and began dinner.
She slid three plates full of smoking hot risotto on the kitchen table as Jacob and Charlie ambled in. Bell jerked her head towards the table.
"Time to eat, boys," she said curtly as she plopped down on a seat and she scarfed down the food, almost guiltily. I wonder if those boys are having a proper meal right now, goddammit.
Charlie and Jacob passed a knowing glance. "Must be her time of the month," Jacob muttered through the edge of his lips. Bella looked up and glared at him. "Excuse me," she said icily, and dropped any pretense of who she was the past year or so.
She walked straight out, ignoring Charlie's protests, and Jacob's weakly veiled warnings. She beelined to the forest, getting lost in the hazy, evergreen maze.
She lost track of time there, mindless and calming, as she trotted around, muddying up her Converses with barely a grimace. Somehow, she reached the edge of a cliff. "I'm so tired," she admitted, talking out loud for the first time since she walked out of the house. "I miss my boys so damn much. I want back in." Her voice took a whiny, edgy quality. "I don't belong here," she whispered in defeated, hushed tones as she sat down at the edge, her legs swinging over a dark, olive green abyss.
She sighed sadly, and pulled out a necklace.
It was worn out, faded with time but its pattern was still discernible. Bella had lost track of how many times she run her thumbs through the familiar sign. She traced the star, the familiar tongues of flame flicking out, engraved in silver.
She looked up, at the cloudy moon and a bitter smile passed her lips. "I shouldn't have left, really," she murmured regretfully. "Charlie and I were wrong to leave so quickly. We both knew it was bound to end in that way."
She contemplated, thumb tracing familiar swirls and patterns.
Alice blinked in surprise as a vision gripped her tight, and locked her limbs tight. It was the kind of vision that was unchangeable, carved in stone. She hated visions like this. She hated losing an edge.
Bella trotted over to the edge of a cliff, sighing as she sank down on soft, tufty grass. "I'm so tired," she whispered, the wind carrying the words away, losing them in the vast darkness of the trees underneath her feet.
Alice opened her mouth to scream. It was a vision, there was nothing she could do.
Bella continued murmuring to herself, her expressive hazel eyes saddened and haunted with some twisted darkness Alice had never seen before. She sighed again, pulling out a necklace.
Alice was only barely aware of the arms shaking her wildly, as she scrutinized the necklace. She had seen it only once, half-falling out of Bella's pocket and the girl, noticing, almost tripped over herself in an attempt to catch it. Now, she watched, frozen, as Bella's thumb swept over the strange, ominous symbol.
"I shouldn't have left, really," she murmured tranquilly. "Charlie and I were wrong to leave so quickly. We both knew it was bound to end in that way." What, Alice wanted to yell. Bella, what are you talking about?
An indescribable sadness passed through Bella's face before her mouth quirked to one side, and she unclasped the necklace, clasping it again around her neck. "It's a shame, really," she mused, standing up with sudden grace Alice never thought her best could possess. "I could've stayed here, and enjoyed it, actually, if it weren't for the Cullens and the pack," her last words ended in an angry hiss.
Alice was taken aback, and hurt. "Bella!" she despaired, as she slowly swirled out of the vision.
Bella grinned to herself. Her mind was made, and she knew what she had to do.
"It's time to prepare," she declared to herself. "I have forgive-me pies to bake." She walked leisurely out of the forest, knowing exactly where the way home was.