One Looney Afternoon

Bugs, Daffy, Sylvester, Wile E, and Forhorn Leghorn were getting ready to eat lunch at the picnic table in Wile E's backyard.

"So Wile E, what's cookin'?" Bugs asked.

"Fried chicken, hot odogs, and carrots," Wile E replied.

"With a side of carrots right?" Bugs asked after biting his carrot.

Daffy shook his head. "Pitiful," he said. "How many carrots do you eat in a day anyway?"

Bugs bit his carrot again. "A lot." So far he was on his twelfth one that day.

"I say, Wile E you got some extra chairs," Foghorn asked. At the moment there were only three at the table.

'They're in the shed," Wile E said. He went into the kitchen and Foghorn went to go get the chairs.

Inside, Wile E pulled out some lettuce for the salad. He picked up a big knife to cut it. It hit the table with a SLAM!

Foghorn had cut through the house to get to the shed in the front yard. He shut the door and looked around the junky shed for the chairs. He started to walk towards the back wall and stubbed his toes on a lawn mower. "AAHHH!"

Outside, Bugs, Daffy, and Sylvester were talking. All of a sudden they were interrupted by the SLAM! Of a knife, then they heard Foghorn scream.

"What the heck?" Sylvester said.

"You know what's going on right?" Daffy asked them.

"What?" Bugs asked not knowing what he was talking about.

Daffy sliced his finger across his neck and they suddenly understood. Wile E really meant he was making fried chicken. Bugs and Sylvester's mouths dropped at the realization.

Wile E finished chopping the lettuce. He pulled out the cheese grater next. Then he started shredding cheese into the bowl of lettuce. He had heard Foghorn scream as well and wondered what he was doing.

Foghorn had found the chairs and was about to take them outside. Then he bumped the pole that was holding the window up and the window slammed onto his hand. "OOUCHH!"

Bugs, Sylvester, and Daffy were looking at each other with horrified looks on their faces. They heard Wile E's cheese grater. "OUCH! OUCH! OUCH!" Foghorn yelled.

Bugs' ear twitched with every "OUCH!" they heard.

Sylvester was nervously biting his nails off.

Daffy just looked at Wile E's house with a horrified expression.

Wile E had finished the salad and had taken the chicken out of the oven. He picked up the bowl of salad and plate of chicken and headed outside.

He came outside with the food and put it on the table. Bugs, Daffy, and Sylvester just stared at it still horrified. Sylvester looked like he was about to cry.

"Bon appetite guys!" Wile E said.

Bugs picked up a piece of chicken. He'd known Wile E for a long time and knew that he loved him some fried chicken, but he didn't think he was crazy enough to ever eat a friend. He wouldn't even eat Road Runner. He stared at it for a moment then put it down. He couldn't eat Foghorn.

"Why the long faces?" Wile E asked confused.

"Bark! Bark!" came the sound of the neighbors dog as he ran towards them.

Wile E picked him up. "Come here you little rascal!" He started to bring him inside. "The hot dogs will be ready soon." Then he disappeared inside.

Bugs, Sylvester, and Daffy stared at each other in disbelief. "Good bye little dog," Daffy said.

Foghorn had found an ace bandage and wrapped his swollen hand in it. He also found some water bottles and decided to bring those too. He stopped to take a drink before he went inside.

Wile E put the little dog on the floor and patted his head. Then he chopped up one of the hot dogs for him. But he tripped over his own foot and stepped on the dogs tail.

They heard the knife chop again. Now Daffy was feeling like he would cry.

Then the dog screamed. They all jumped out of their chairs.

They got silent. Sylvester took his Red Sox cap off and put it to his heart. They bowed their heads for Foghorn and the dog. Daffy turned away and wiped his eyes. Who knew one of their best friends was a sadistic killer? And which one of them would be next?

Bugs bit his carrot sadly. "This is madness."

Just as Foghorn was about to come back he dropped all the water bottles. Then he dropped a chair on his foot. "YOW!"

The hot dogs were ready, Bugs' carrots were ready, and the neighbors dog was sleeping next to the window. Wile E picked up the food and went outside again. He put the food on the table and saw Bugs, Daffy, and Sylvester all looking like they were close to tears. "Okay, what is wrong with you guys? And what's taking Foghorn with those chairs?"

Sylvester jumped up not being able to take it anymore. "Sufferin' succotash! You killed him! He's on that plate right there! And you killed the dog too!"

"In all hosnesty doc, I didn't know you were like that," Bugs said. "You really expect us to eat our friend and a poor defenseless animal?"

Sylvester got on his knees. "Don't kill me too! I wanna live!" he exclaimed.

Daffy pointed an accusing finger at Wile E. "Don't act like you don't know! We heard the knives; we heard the screams, and the cheese grater!"

Wile E looked back and forth at these crazy people. "But…"

"No! No butts!" Daffy said waving a hot dog in his face. "You animal! You sadistic crazy killer!"

"But…"

"NO BUTTS!" Daffy yelled.

"If you didn't fry Foghorn doc, where is he? Huh?" Bugs asked.

Foghorn came back carrying chairs and water bottles. "I say, what's all the noise back here?"

Everyone turned to look at him. "Foghorn! You're alive!" Sylvester exclaimed.

"You see?" Wile E said. "I never…"

"WAIT!" Bugs exclaimed waving his carrot at Wile E. "That doesn't explain the dog!"

Suddenly the neighbors dog ran outside barking.

Wile E stared at all of them with his arms crossed. Bugs, Daffy, and Sylvester all looked away from him feeling guilty. Foghorn was still confused. "Why, I say, WHY would you think I was dead?"

"We thought that was you," Daffy said pointing to the chicken on the plate.

"WHY?" Foghorn exclaimed.

Wile E sighed. These people have some kind of imagination, he thought. "Come on and eat guys," he said motioning for them to sit down.

That's All Folks!

I hope you enjoyed this everyone! i sure had fun writing it. Peace out my lovelies!