[Author's note: I do not own the Hunger Games triology credit must be given to Suzanne Collins. The characters I created are my own same goes with all the ideas in this fanfiction. Forgive me, if my grammar isn't the best, I have poor vision and if anyone is willing to beta this story for me. I would really appericate it. ]

Promises made are not enough

Chapter One: They call you a hero, you feel like a villain

Who am I?

Why would I even ask this question when I know the answer. I am Jasper Steigerwald. I am nineteen years old and last year I was the victor of the 23rd Annual Hunger Games. The odds were ever in my favor. One could say. Oh, shut the hell up, will you? It's not something to celebrate. In fact, the ten people I murdered just to survive still plague me in my sleep. Funny how sleep can elude me right? There were a few positives to winning though. One being that y family wouldn't have to starve any longer save the fact that they died of starvation before I returned home. From that day on I was all alone in the world. I went from living in a run-down shack and slaving away mining precious jewels and other luxury goods for the Capitol to residing in the Victor's square. It's not like any of us in our district lived a life of luxury. From poverty to residing in one of the lavish houses within the victors' square, but what's fame and glory when no one else can reap the benefits of your 'success'.

The world sucks and somehow you find a way to move along.

I wasn't always this pessimistic and cynical being. In a year's time I have changed drastically. I can barely look at my own reflection in the mirror without feeling disgusted. It's not my fault. I didn't ask for this new life the Capitol has so graciously bestowed on me. During my games I was a contender for sponsors because I wasn't a sight for sore eyes. I smiled and women would melt in the palm of my hand. I guess the fact that I am of Italian ancestry, have strong facial features, dark hair and eyes, and a penis might have something to do with that. Well, after I was crowned the victor of the Games and thought that I could spend the rest of my life in District 1 sitting in a vast manor - locked away from the world. I got a rude awakening.

The Capitol saw another use for me. I was just too damn valuable for them to relinquish their control over me.

"Jassie," She whispered in my ear. Instinctively, I tensed. I had just won the Hunger Games a month before. I was all good as new thanks to the morphling and my team of stylists that always made me over to look 'sexy' as they claimed it was never hard for them to do anyhow. I wasn't good as new though. I was changed and broken beyond repair, but none of the women the Capitol forced me into sleeping with cared. They just wanted a one night stand with District One's victor.

"It's Jasper," I hissed. I tensed and found myself running a hand through my hair. I felt her fingers trail down my bare chest. Normally, I would relish in something like this. I was rather fond of female attention back in school. I had no problem getting a girlfriend. In fact I was known for being a bit of a heart-breaker back then, but I had also still been a virgin. Secretly I wanted to be a commitment guy, but at the age of fifteen, I'll admit to my love of chasing skirts.

I tried to avert my gaze to the floor as she undressed. I knew her name, but it just wouldn't come to me. Something with a J, Julia, Jane, or Judith. Well, it was one of the three. I also knew that I had to be out of her apartment early - before her boyfriend came back - I didn't want to be here in the first place. I had no choice in the matter though.

Reluctantly, I took off my jeans and let them rest in a pile on the floor. As I stood there for a moment clicking my tongue against the roof of my mouth. It's always been an anxious habit of mine. I doubt she would care. All she wanted was to blab to all of her Capitol friends that she had sex with the Jasper Steigerwald. Moment while I try to not vomit. She turned to look at me her long dark hair obscuring my view of her chest for which I was grateful. She crawled onto the bed and scooted over. Obviously, that was my cue to come and join her.

"I have one condition." Discontent filled my voice. "Turn off the lights."

She exhaled like I had asked her to do some menial task and then did as I had asked.

At eighteen, I had lost my virginity to some Capitol rich snob whose name started with J. There's no such thing as love with these women. There's only lust.

As if being a sex-slave wasn't enough then came the Victor's Tour where the Capitol mandated I visit all of the Districts and they pretty much pay homage to me. The tour was great, not, I had to stare into the eyes of the family members whose sons and daughters I slayed. I had to make speeches which I was never very good at to begin with. The only thing good about that fucking tour was the train. At least it was fast, comfortable, and I could eat whatever I wanted. The hardest thing was probably visiting District 4. There once was a twelve year old girl tribute named Mar. I had always found that humorous seeing as a girl from the Fishing district had a name that was Spanish for the word, ocean. She was petite, but wicked smart. A skilled swimmer and pretty good instinct wise. I still remember those blonde curls and the way that she used to smile at me. If I was a good judge of a person's personality I'd say that she had a crush on me. The way that she used to giggle or blush whenever she saw me in the arena.

And that little ray of sunshine that I had made a pact to protect. She died. The worst part was that I had been the one who killed her. I hadn't intended for my spear to hit her. That snake from District 8 that I took my retribution on as soon as Mar died that's where I had wanted my spear to land.

I sat up in a tree. My eyes scanned the woods from a distance. Killing was far different from Gem mining, but then again, you dig for a precious jewel. One kills by finding the target spots of one of the tributes. I was deadly, I hated it. It was revolting. I had to shut off my brain. I wasn't hunting humans I had to delude myself. I had to pretend that they were animals like a deer or a wild dog. It didn't matter what figment of an animal I pictured my opponents to be. I figured that it didn't matter, as long as, I didn't have to admit that all of us here in the Arena were savage murderers. A part of me didn't want to live, but then again. Even though I did win, I still feel so dead instead so I suppose that you could say. It's payback.

Mar was fishing by the stream and I was keeping an eye out for her. We'd then switch shifts and I'd go and do some hunting with the little knife I had in the pocket of my torn up pants. We'd become somewhat of a duo. Her and I. She called me Jassie which I thought was cute. Besides, she was a little girl to me so I humored her childish nickname. I felt like a brother again seeing as I left my younger brother and sister back in District one. Then I saw something move in the bushes behind her. I jumped down from the low limb of the tree I was hiding in and ran. Somehow, I had managed to grab the spear I forgot was resting beside me on that branch. I felt a surge of adrenaline coarse through my veins as I saw Snake. I think his name had been Iron, or something. He was serpent-like to me. That's all I knew. I lunged the spear just when he came into my line of sight. I saw someone fall, but it wasn't Snake boy.

He had the audacity to move over at the last second so that the tip of my spear sailed right into her. I don't know how it happened. It did.

"MAR!" I screamed. Leaning down and brushing the blonde curls out of her eyes. Those sea green eyes of that little girl that haunt the depths of my soul if I even still have one. "Mar. Mar. Fuck, I'm sorry..." I sobbed.

"Jassie, be-ehind you-u"

I turned in time to see Iron Snake boy with a dagger in hand about ready to plunge it into my neck. A part of me just didn't want to fight my imminent death, but then I figured that I didn't want Mar to watch me die while she laid dying. I was also incredibly angry. I grabbed the point of the dagger. Not caring that it sliced into my flesh. I knocked it out of his hands and then I was on top of him. I over-powered him by my strength. My hands were on his throat. I suffocated him. Slow and painful demise it was, yet I had no remorse. If not for him Mar would have lived.

I don't remember how long I stayed by that stream, knelt next to Mar, like a Doe protecting its fawn, but I just stayed there. I'll admit that at the time there was a part of me wanting to just plunge my spear right into my heart and be done with the Games in general. I had to remind myself that my family was watching and that if I won. Bax wouldn't have to work in the Gem mines, next year. I didn't want that life for him. I kissed the top of her forehead before I backed away as the hovercraft came to collect her corpse. The cannon blast just made it all the more too real.

It had been me and a Career girl named Lane at the end of it all. The only good part was that I didn't have to kill her. She was killed by some mutts. I don't remember which ones. Though, I remember that they had been vicious and resembled rats. I hate rats. I do. I also hate myself, but that's a different story. Perhaps, I'll tell it to you another time when I'm not being so self-deprivacting.

"Jasper! Jasper!" Osla called. My eyes half-lidded. I just wanted to sleep and not remember what day it was. "Bax says it's time to go." I knew by the tone of her voice that she was trying to be brave. For a girl of seven my sister was too grown up for her own good. I didn't want that. I wanted her to go to school and not worry about things like the Reaping or the Hunger Games, but we all grew too accostumed to this life. "Mom and Dad are already in the town square. Bax and I stayed behind to wake your lazy butt up!"

I groaned and ran a comb through my oily hair as I splashed with little water we had in that pail on my face. I put on one of my dad's good dress shirts and my nicest pair of pants. I looked over at Bax. He was a year younger than I was, but I forbaid him to take out any more tressarae than me. His name would be in the drawing almost as many times as mine would, but I prayed that he wouldn't be called. Bax deserved a normal life. Bax would be missed if he died. I, however, doubt I would be missed by anyone other than my family. I had been slapped by so many girls. I think I had a record of ten slaps to the face, two kicks to the groin, and twenty some ex-girlfriends since the age of thirteen. I wasn't ever rude to any of them. It was just they all kind of saw me as a player.

Osla held on tight to my hand. Her dark brown hair fell into hazel eyes like our mother's. She had always been closer to me than she had Bax. The three of us got along well enough though. Our parents loved us all and each other, but worked insane hours in the Gem mines in an attempt to keep some semblance of food on the table. One doesn't get all the luxuries in the world just because their district is responsible for out-sourcing luxury goods.

"District one's male tribute is Jasper Steigerwald!" When my name was called that's when my world stopped. There are many reasons why the world seemed to stop on its axis completely, partly due to my mom's anguished cry, or the fact that Osla had to be ripped from my grasp by Bax because she wouldn't let go. Even Bax had a hard time pulling away from our brotherly hug.

The Hunger Games is a death sentence.

Dead or Alive.

Now, it's time for the 24th Hunger Games. I have to be a mentor and re-live all the terror again, but from the outside looking in which I doubt will be any better. I don't even want to watch the Reaping, but I'll be watching it from the Capitol. I can't sleep at the moment because I'm being plagued by nightmares. One of my many lovers is waiting outside the bathroom door just wondering when I'll come out. I don't want to come out. I don't want to give myself away to yet another strange girl that I don't know nor will I ever love. The fact that she has a poster of me on her wall from the Games just creeps me out really.

"Jasper Steigerwald, get out of there right now!" The pounding on the door matched my pounding headache.

I exhale. I've done this so many times in the past four months. One night stands. Hit and runs. Whatever you want to call it. The Capitol just loves selling a newly crowned victor's body. This girl - I actually knew her name - maybe it's because out of all the Capitol sluts. I can actually tolerate Zana. She lost her boyfriend to Morphling addiction and she has an addiction too. However, it's not morphling. Not to sound conceded, but it's me.

Or one night stands with me. I guess.

"Yes, Zana?" I crack the door open and lean against the door-frame.

"Hey, sexy." she winked. From her vibrant purple hair in her eyes to all those tattoos that adorn her hour-glass frame, those long legs. I cannot tell a lie. She's hot, yet I still hate the fact that I've become the Capitol's sex doll. Pieces sold separately and batteries not included. Darling bitches, I hate you all. She kisses me full on the mouth and I respond. Giving her exactly what she wants.

I got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better fuck than any boy you'll ever meet. Sweetie, you had me.