Summary: Kirby decides to take a walk around campus before going to football practice. He passes by some couples holding hands, and realizes how empty his hand, and heart, really is. (Trent/Kirby)
'Thats the fifth couple today!' Kirby thought as he casually walked around the school grounds. It wasn't uncommon to see couples, but the amount that he saw was not usual. One or two maybe, but... 'Six!' Kirby's mind exclaimed, 'Six couples? What the hell? When did Bullworth start a match making service?'
Sighing, he shoved his hands into his jeans pockets. Things like this never really bothered him; he had other things to make up for that (i.e. football, baseball, swimming, etc.). But today was different, because the day before he had ran out on a date with a bully named Trent. Now, Trent was nothing to brag about, but he was fun to hangout with, and he DID like boys, so... Kirby thought they could have had something. Maybe they could have been a good item. Or perhaps he just wanted a good ol' "one-night-stand".
Whatever the reason, he wished things were different. He wished he didn't chicken out when Jimmy saw them together. He shouldn't have cared. Why would the jocks, or in that case, ANYBODY believe him? Who could believe that a JOCK was dating a GUY? Nobody. Shaking his head, Kirby felt a pang of pain hit his heart. He wasn't some pussy that suffered from stupid heartache, but he wondered why his heart hurt like it did. 'It's not like we were together long...' Kirby thought to himself, 'It was just one fucking date! Why would I be sad for messing it up with some I barely have any history with?'
Realizing that he was giving the ground a good stare down, he liftted his gaze up to a couple smooching near a wall. This time his heart sunk to his feet. They felt heavy as he quickly walked past them. The emtyness was nearly killing him. He rooted his eyes once more to the ground, not wanting to see anything like that again. Suddenly, he felt a hand land on his shoulder. Gasping, he turned to see the very bully he ran out on the previouse day.
"Hey there, Kirby." Trent said with silk lacing each word, "How you doing, baby?"
With blood rushing to his face, he responded with a shove, "Don't fucking call me baby in public, you fucking asshole!" Turning back around, and walking away, he hoped the blonde bully would leave him alone. With no such luck.
"Aw c'mon, Kirby! I was only joking! I just wanted to talk to you!"
With another tired sigh, he spun back around and gave the other a sour look, "I know we were... 'hanging out' yesterday, but that doesn't mean you can just waltz over to me, like we're friends, or something. Leave me the hell ALONE!"
With a quick glare, and a 'fuck you', Trent stomped off, pushing a nerd to the ground.
'Alone', the word rang over and over in his head, making him realize why everything was bothering him. He didn't want to be alone. Sure, he had a lot of great friends, but they didn't fill that gap in his heart. The gap Trent could have filled...
He inwardly kicked himself for pushing the bully away, but he couldn't help it. His fear of being gay, and people mocking him for it was too scary. He always treated potential guys that way. If there was even a glimps of hope in a relationship, he stomp it out until it disapeared completely. Now he wondered if it really mattered. Why does he have to sacrifice his happiness, just so he can please others with "normal" Kirby?
He stared at his hand, realizing just how empty it was, and how vacant his heart was as well, and a single tear fell from his lonely brown eyes.