Sometimes I sit and watch things, I listen and observe. I watch the people around me and how they behave. One of my favorite people to watch is Sasuke.
Unlike his elder brother, Itachi whom had a baby-ish face, the younger Uchiha had a slender face with high cheekbones. He was scrawny, and he rarely ate. I guess he was sad, depressed even. I wouldn't blame him. He's lost so much, and maybe that's why I like to watch him when he's alone. When he doesn't think any of team Hebi is around he can be the sweetest person I've ever met. His smiles are small and rare, but they light up his face like fireworks and the hatred filled despair that usually adorns him is met with new grace.
There are many times where I've seen Sasuke prove that he isn't what he makes himself to be, prove that he's actually quite kindhearted. Maybe he's mislead, and maybe he's broken, but that doesn't make him any less of a person. In a way, he follows after his brother. I don't think he realizes it, but he hides his kindness behind this cold outer shell, when in reality he's an incredibly nice person, just like Itachi.
He likes to take walks to clear his head. He has a lot of doubt, for what he's doing and who he is, and it tears him apart. So, he walks. I watch him often while he's walking, quietly following from up in the trees. Sometimes he'll stop, bury his face in his knees, and the silence around him will weigh in. His shoulders will shake and sometimes I can hear him sniffle. Trying to compose himself he'll, pace back and forth. Occasionally he'll scream. On the days where he avoids his unpleasant emotions, he'll take walks into areas with people.
Small villages that aren't looking for him everywhere are his favorite places. I watch him pretend to be normal, this is when I get to see those small smiles. He shows off his other side here. The way he helps people or talks to children are some of the most amazing things I've ever seen. Sometimes I feel that he should return to the village. What they did to Itachi was unacceptable, but when I see him like this it makes me realize how little he actually allows himself to feel happy. I get to see how lonely he really is and it isn't okay. He's only sixteen, and already he wants to sacrifice everything for something he shouldn't even know about yet.
This world is cruel, and he knows it. He's felt it, the way it can chew someone up and spit them out as only a shell of who they were before. That's what happened to him, what keeps happening to him. He's still just a child, and already h's dealt with so much pain. I hate it.
I still remember the time he came across a crying baby. The mother was frantic, she tried everything but the child simply wouldn't calm. Sasuke was annoyed with the noise at first, but the mother just kept apologizing, trying he best to calm her little one. He looked sympathetic of her position, after all it was cold and neither of them had a jacket. He knelt down to face the baby in it's little stroller, and for a moment just sat there. He looked mesmerized by the little life, like it surprised him he wasn't dealing with more death.
After a moment he moved, taking the babies hands into his own, cupping them and blowing hot hair on them. He was warming the baby up to the best of his abilities. The mother, who was obviously new to her title and not experienced enough to think of this, watched him. He smiled at the baby hen it stopped crying. That was the first time I'd ever seen him smile.
He looked onto the baby in adoration, his smile small, but kind. The mother thanked him repeatedly. He said nothing, fishing some money out of his pocket. "Jackets." he said simply. "One for you, one for the baby. Blankets too." She took the money, too shocked to think correctly. He began to walk away, his shell rebuilding around him.
The mother, now gone from her stupor, called after him. "Wait! This-this is too much!" He stopped, looking back at her. "Then get food too." SHe looked lost again, confused by how kind we was being. He began to walk again, the small smile still playing on his face. It stayed for a while, before it was chased away by Karin telling him he should get back to camp and lay low. I knew she saw me watching, but I guess she didn't care enough to tell him. I was lucky, too because I got to watch him again a week later.
We had moved camps since then. We were always moving it seemed, but this one wasn't too different from the other, it was by another small village. It allowed us to get supplies, and allowed Sasuke to take his walks. Everyone knew Sasuke loved walking, but no one knew why, or what he did on them. Except me.
I followed him again, watching him wander about until he reached the village edge. I had fallen behind just a bit, and was struggling to catch up when I realized he had stopped. When I reached the clearing, staying hidden in the trees of course, I watched him kneel to the ground carefully. There was a wounded rabbit, trapped in a snare.
He looked angry, disgusted. "Who would do this to any animal. Food or not, this is just wrong." He was so gentle with the animal, his hands working quickly, cutting the snare and setting the rabbit free. It tried to run, but the food it had gotten caught was broken and cut into. He scrunched his nose up in disgust.
Swiftly but carefully scooping up the animal he walked quickly into the village. He knew zero about rabbits, and even less about how to help one if it was hurt. The vet was his only option. Once he had gotten the animal treated he had to find something to do with it. I'm sure he was playing with the idea of giving it to Jugo, but that would make him look suspicious.
He was walking around with it, trying to decide what to do with it, when the sniffling of a child came within earshot. He stopped, before finding a girl, about six or seven, head in her hands and shoulders shaking. I could see the worry on his face, but also fear. Babies were one thing, but children, especially little girls, scared him. I guess he didn't want them to hate him, afraid that he wouldn't live up to his brother most likely. But the girl was crying, and he couldn't just leave her like that. "Hey..." his voice was soft. "What's wrong?" She looked up, wiping at her eyes. Her sobs slowed. "Big sister says that she has ta leave on a big mission. She-she says I'm too small to go with her..."
Sasuke's face was blank for a moment, but then he laughed. That was the first time I'd heard him laugh, ever, not even a chuckle! It was clear and light. Happy, blissful, I can try to describe it, but these words don't do it justice.
The girl pouted. "I felt the same way when my big brother went on his first important mission. I didn't understand back then." She was wide-eyed. "Did you cry too?" "I did. I argued that I wasn't a baby anymore, that I was in the academy and I could protect myself." "I did too! But they didn't listen!"
"Here's the thing though, I wasn't skilled enough. I didn't understand the danger back then. Years later, when I went on my first big mission with my team, I almost died. Nothing can prepare you for something that big." She made a face. It was half pout, half anger. "Then how'm I s'posed to prove I ain't no baby!" He laughed again. "Hey!" she cried. "I'm serious!" He smiled again. "Here." He handed her the rabbit. "If you can take care of it, they'll see you're responsible. You'll be just that much closer to graduating the academy and going on your first mission as a ninja." She squaled, hugging him, and taking the rabbit.
She stopped running halfway to her house. "Thank you!" He was still stuck. SHe had hugged him, and he hadn't expected it. After a while he stood, his face still confused. "Good luck..." He whispered, watching the little girl with her family. The happy parents, proud of their daughters. The elder sister, gazing affectionately at her younger counterpart. The happy little girl with her new bunny. Sasuke was reminded of home. I watched a smirk come to play on his face as he walked back to camp.
Yes, Sasuke Uchiha might just be mislead and broken. He might be going down a bad path, and he might be hurting, but I think when the time comes for him to decide his fate for good...he will chose something wonderful.