"Bye, I'll see you later!" I called out to the manager of the restaurant. They always stayed open late on the weekends just for me since I came by rather late to eat, due to the fact that if I stay out to long in the sun I will burn to a skeleton. "Ugh I think I drank too much. I feel terrible already." I grumbled to myself. Damn myself and my inability to say no to people who offer to give me stuff on the house. Last week I ate too much fried rice to the point where I had a massive stomach ache and had to lay in bed the whole night. What a waste of a perfectly good night! But if I didn't eat it all I'd feel bad because the cook might think I don't like his cooking, which is not true.
I continued stumbling along the sidewalk. The way I was going didn't seem like it was the way I usually walked home from the restaurant. But I knew, even with my cloudy mind, that this way led home. After all, I had been living in the special zone for over 5 years now. There were several roads that led from this area of the new section to the area of the old section where I resided. I felt my stomach churn and I rushed into an alley off of the main street. I bent over clutching my stomach and spewing out most of the alcohol I had drank. Almost immediately my head felt clearer. I looked up and wished I was drunk again. This was the place, there was no doubt about it. I suddenly realized why this road didn't seem very familiar to me. I had been avoiding it for a long time now, trying not to remember pieces of my past that I wanted desperately to forget. The bloodshed, the merciless killing of innocent people. I clutched my head tightly, wishing that if I held tight enough, all of the memories would be forced out. I could see blood splattered on the wall. I wasn't sure if my mind was tricking me because it looked so real but it couldn't possibly be there. Those men. I saw myself lash out at them as they tried to grab me. I heard their heads knock up against the brick wall with such force that their blood was painted onto the wall as a reminder of what I was. A monster. I knew what would happen next. I'd lose it and lash out at the two men's friends lurking in the shadows, contemplating whether or not it was safe to attack me, after all, I'd killed their friends, and with such ease. As much as I wanted to finish that memory, because it got better, my mind wouldn't listen. It began reeling through another film of torture. Bodies, bloodied and broken, lay before me. I screamed and ran out of the alley as fast as I could. I kept running and running until I came to a deserted park where I couldn't hurt anyone anymore.
But the tracks wouldn't stop. I screamed and pleaded but I had no control. Just as the last terrible memory of me ended, I saw the faces of the two men I had last killed. The scene replayed in front of me, the walls of the alley materializing in my mind's eye. I could almost hear their screams, which seemed to synchronize with my own. I saw myself run at the men poorly concealed in the shadows, unable to contain my rage, which was not caused by the men who had attempted for no apparent reason to hurt me. But it didn't matter that I wasn't furious at them. I didn't really know why I was so angry all of a sudden. They just happened to piss me off even more and so I used that as an excuse to take my anger out on them. I screamed at myself to stop and then I did. I drew a breath sharply. I could feel arms around me. Is this real? Or am I continuing with the memory? I hoped for option one.
"What's wrong, Jazmin?" male voice said. "Jirou…" I whispered, thanking my few lucky stars that my vampire knight was here to make my bad day dreams (well more like night dreams)go away. "I could hear you screaming halfway across the city. What happened to you?"
Instead of answering his question, I spun around in his arms and buried my face in his chest. Here in his arms, I felt safe. This was the only place where I could ever feel truly secure, safe from everything, even my own mind. I wanted so badly to stay by his side forever. But I doubted that he felt the same way about me that I did him. I felt the tears I had kept locked up for so long escaping my eyes. I cried from leftover fear of my memories, from joy at being safe in Jirou's arms, but most of all, I wept at the thought of being rejected and left alone by the one person I cared about most in this world.
I felt Jirou jump slightly as my tears fell down my cheeks onto his coat, but he just held me tighter. "Please don't cry. It hurts me to see you in pain." He murmured. "You were remembering that night, weren't you. The night we first met." The way he said it, it wasn't a question. He knew me well enough to know my weak points and that only a few things could break me down like this. "It'll be okay. It's all in the past now. You've changed and you wouldn't go back to that now." he said comfortingly.
"I don't trust myself anymore, it all looked so real. I don't want to become that monster again." I whimpered. "Don't worry, I won't let you. I will protect you for as long as I can. I promise." He said. I looked up and smiled at him. I gasped when I felt his lips brush gently against mine. He wanted to be sure that he wasn't doing anything wrong, always the gentleman. But he couldn't have done anything more right. I tilted my head back to meet his lips as he held me tighter. I'm safe. "I love you, Jirou."
Sorry it was so short. I'll have something else up soon.