"So you're the one they've been talking about?" Snape unenthusiastically asked, his face resting into a permeating sneer. He sized up his addressee with cold eyes: stylish kicks below thigh-hugging demins, a flashy shirt tucked in, all pulled together with a thick leather belt. Sunglasses hid his eyes but not his childlike smirk. Snape rolled his eyes at the cocky young man's façade. "You're the iRONman?"
"It's Tony actually," he replied, shoving his hands into his tight pant pockets. "And if you don't mind, I have things to do. So if we could hurry along with whatever magic tricks you want to try out?" Snape sniveled and turned abruptly.
"Mr. Stark, I've been notified of your… resistance… against certain elements with the help of your bionic parts and the addition of your suit. As we've been facing new and unusual dangers here at Hogwarts, I've found it necessary to develop new defense tactics. If what they say about your hardiness is true, we should be able to stop the forthcoming danger." Snape snapped back around to face his subject. "If you'd indulge me in this research it would be beneficial to both parties, I'm sure."
Stark glanced casually at the weathered Hogwarts teacher. He noticed his rugged boots and lint-scattered robe, making him scoff internally. This guy is such a sad sack he thought. Stark weighed his options as he stroked his neat goatee: he had planned to crash a posh party in London but this guy seemed on the brink of a mental breakdown. Maybe one night off wouldn't hurt. This guy could use some good news. "You've got a deal," Stark replied, flashing his million dollar smile.
Snape nodded to a bin on his desk. "You can put your garments in there. We need to test the resiliency of your suit first." Stark strutted over to the desk and looked expectantly at Snape. The wizard turned around respectively so Stark could undress. Stark removed his shades revealing his playful eyes. He unbuttoned his shirt and tossed it in the bin. Snape glanced over to see Stark slowly unbuckling and dropping his pants. They went into the bin along with his socks and shoes. Clad only in his tight boxer briefs, Stark sauntered over to the large metal container that held his suit.
"I'll need some help getting this on," Stark called out. Snape hesistated before joining his company. He sized up the equipment in the container and faced Stark.
"How does it go on?" he asked. Stark smiled like he had a secret.
"I'll show you how."
The men pieced together the suit gingerly until a metal man stood in their midst. Snape gawked at the sight of him, the thickness of his suit made his forehead damp. "Well… I guess we'd better get started." He led the metal man to the Room of Requirement and placed him at one end. Stark stood motionless facing the professor. Snape slipped the wand from his pocket and raised it to chest level. He flicked it and yelled "Flipendo!" A beam of light his Stark but he remained undeterred. Snape smiled approvingly. He sent out another incantation and the result was the same. "Okay, let's do a little more." He let out a pursed sigh and readied his wand again. "Reducto!" he bellowed. The spell struck the iron suit and to Snape's amazement, Stark stayed upright. Snape's mouth let out a quiet gasp. His eyes fixed on the metal suit before him. His lips quivered before letting out an unforgivable curse. "Avada Kadavra!" The power surged from his wand to Stark. A brilliant light blinded Snape temporarily. When he recovered his sight, Snape made out the form of Stark, upright and unscathed. "So it's true… you really are the iRONman!" Snape rushed up to the iRONman and kissed the iRON face real hard. iRONMAN enjoyed it and rubbed his metal face against Snap's tongue and teeth. Snapee let out a moan and rubbed iRONman's metalhood, making sure to cup the balls.
"Muhh merr ma muhhh merr merr," iRonman mumbled.
"What's that? You want me to tear your IRON suit off and do sexuals to you? Well, alright." Snaap carelessly ripped off IRON MAAANS suit piece by piece, leaving the helmet on. He traced his wand around Stark's pecks down to his massive 12 pack resting just above his pecker. "Engorgio," he whispered. Stark's pee pee enlarged at least 17 times his embarrassing flaccid size of -1 inches. It was so big that it ripped his boxers open and knocked over a vase that rested on a nearby desk. "Ten points from Gryffindor!" Snapped yelled.
"Merrr herpp Merrr Meerrr," IRONMOOON mumbled.
"Oh right, I'm just used to saying that," Snape replied. He bent Stark over promptly and began spanking him with his wand. "That's what you get, you bad iRONman!" IRonMan's penis was so big it kept hitting everything in the Room of Requirement. Breaking more random vases and cats. "Naughty!" Snape growled and stuck his wand into iRonMan's retum. "Hard on the outside, soft on the inside!" Snape said creepily. At this point, Hermione Granger walked in on the sight and promptly killed herself. iRONman moaned in enjoyment, hopefully. Snape removed his wand and rubbed iRONMAAAAN's smooth booty. All of a sudden, a condom suddenly appeared suddenly next to Snape. "Lol, fuck it," he said and stuck his penis into iRONman's butt raw dog. Ferociously screwing iRONman's brains out, he started gasping and writhing. "Who's hard now!" he shrieked. A chain saw suddenly appeared above ironman's head suddenly. Snape smiled with a craze in his eyes before Harry Potter entered the room. "Immobolus!" Harry yelled. Snape was fixed inside iRONman motionless. Harry approached the couple and looked around the room. With no one else present, he whipped his baby dick out and came onto iRONman's helmet. Overcome by guilt and disgust, he promptly killed himself.
The couple remained statuesque for several days, as each person who happened upon the sight would jack off onto all the dead people and then promptly kill themselves. It wasn't until Luna Lovegood happened upon the orgy that the cycle was broken, because despite what Draco Malfoy kept telling everyone, Luna was a fucking prude entirely. The bodies were disposed of with few more deaths and everyone tried really hard to forget the incident. The Avengers was forever banned from streaming at Hogwarts.