Disloyal Order of the Heart
By EleventhDoctor1801
It was the night, and it was overly hot for the winter. 20 degrees outside, but for him it felt like 100 degrees, his body was a furnace.
The dreams have been coming to him for months now. Or you could say he was coming to the dreams. He thought it was just a mix of the pills or the boozes or the lack of heat in his nights. But no it meant more than he could imagine. He thought it was just metaphors, a mix of thoughts about her, or about him, and they just made a concoction, no, no. It was just how he dreamt it. No metaphors, no skipping around the truth, for once. Everything he had in those dreams was just want he wanted. How long is it going to take for him to figure that out?
The night was still fresh, lots of time for mistakes. Him and Patrick had a lot of work to do, lyrics to finish, melodies to create. They decided to stay in. He told Patrick that he was going for an energy drink run. He just walked so he could have some time to think. The dream he had last night was so evocative. It was really something. This is the first time him and Patrick have been truly alone since the dream. Andy and Joe were hitting some concerts for the night, so no one would contact them in this night. He was scared, not in the monster under your bed way, more like the monster in your heart way. He has told not a single soul about his dreams, in hopes this was all just a big misunderstanding. He arrived at the convenience store and bought a four-pack of Red Bull. If it would really give him wings, that would be great, flying away seems most logical right about now. He grabbed two candy bars at the counter aswell. He paid, then left.
Home was only a few minutes away so before he knew it he was back inside the house sitting on the couch with Patrick. Patrick got out the notepad that he keeps all the ideas in, and got to work. Pete on the other hand just couldn't focus. He got up to pee every ten minutes for at least an hour, before Patrick got suspicious.
"Are you okay?" Patrick just stared at him, concerned that Pete was sick from the mix of pills and Red Bull.
"Yeah, I just- I don't know." He was being stranger than he usually is, and Patrick was getting more worried than he usually does.
"Are you sure? You've been acting strange the past few weeks." Patrick won't take his eyes off of Pete, as if staring will make everything okay.
"I'm sorry." Pete whispered that, but Patrick heard him and inched closer on the couch.
"You know you can talk to me. We're best friends. I'd talk to you if I had a problem." Pete was hunched over, elbows on his knees, looking down, holding his head up with his hands. Patrick put his right arm on Pete's back, rubbing lightly, trying to comfort him into talking.
"I can't talk to you about this."
"Sure you can. I'm not your parent, you can literally tell me anything. If it helps I won't say a word till you're done." Pete let out a sort of huff-laugh that made himself bounce a little on the couch before settling again.
"Patrick, it's not something you would understand, and if you did I feel like it would change us forever." Pete let's a single tear drop fall to the area rug, Patrick notices this and begins sweating with fear. Trying to sound as relaxed as possible, Patrick tries again, to get Pete to talk.
"Pete, no need to worry. If you want me to forget everything you say here, just so you can get it off your chest, go ahead. I'll plug my ears just so you at least have someone to talk to."
"I'm sorry for worrying you. I don't know, maybe just a crappy week." Patrick isn't in the slightest convinced that it was just "a crappy week" it has actually been, quoted from Pete "a friggin' awesome week." Patrick has known Pete too long to give up this easily.
"Pete, just remember you can talk to me." Patrick just leans in to give Pete an awkward side hug. Pete's face lights up and he tries to conceal it before Patrick notices.
"Can we just forget this, at least for the rest of the night?" Patrick is still hugging Pete.
"Sure." Patrick is smiling and tearing up from this emotional moment, he's turned into quite the softy.
"Thanks" Pete sits up and stretches trying to get into the position he was in before. He notices something and has to take the pillow that was behind him and cover his crotch, once again, before Patrick notices. Patrick moves back into the position he was in before aswell, and then clears his throat,
"Where were we?"
The night seems like it's forever, Pete at least cleared his head enough to write. The songs were so vaguely about Patrick, but he still thought he knew. He kept looking at Patrick in the corner of his eye, wondering if he noticed any of the pages that Pete threw away. The pages were, of course, full blown poems, and love songs he wanted to give to Patrick. Patrick was in his own world, and if he noticed any of Pete's writings, he wasn't showing it.
Pete just for his safety kept the pillow on his lap and used it as a sort of table for his notepad.
It's 5 a.m. the longest night Pete thought. He was hoping Patrick didn't think the same after Pete's slight meltdown. Patrick was yawning and scratching his head.
"I think we better go to bed for a few hours." Patrick barely got those words out of his mouth.
"That would be a good idea." Pete is still wide awake, he fakes a yawn for Patrick's sake, nobody wants to be the party killer. Patrick gets up and stumbles through the hallway taking a turn into the bathroom. Before shutting the door he musters up the energy to say something.
"Goodnight, Pete!"
"Night!" Pete sends back. He hears Patrick shut the bathroom door. Then he falls back slouching on the couch, relieved that the night is over. He hopes that the few hours of sleep will maybe give Patrick some sort of amnesia, no one could ever be so lucky at a time like this, can they?
Pete hears the toilet flush and the sink going, he gets up to go into his room, Patrick is still stumbling to his room. Patrick leaves the door wide open, takes off his shirt and falls onto the bed. Pete's mind is going crazy again. Nothing will shut it up, well at least nothing he can get. He leaves his door on a slight crack, then he strips down completely, leaving only his boxers on. Certain he isn't going to get any sleep, he actually is asleep before Patrick starts his over-tired snoring.
Another dream.
Pete didn't think it was possible to have an even more redolent dream then the last, but he did.
It was the night they just had, but with a big difference. When Patrick leans over to hug Pete, he turned Pete's head and started to makeout with him. Panting (which came through the dream into reality) and sweating.
The Non-Dream Pete unconsciously got up, slowly walking towards Patrick's room. Dream Patrick is pulling him into his room. Non-Dream Pete is getting into bed with Patrick. Dream Pete is doing the same, just he was invited.
Non-Dream Pete is lying next to Patrick, who is sleeping on his left side. He gets close, still unaware that his non-dream self is moving. Pete spoons Patrick and puts his right hand on Patrick's crotch. Non-Dream Patrick is still sleeping and Dream Patrick is mauling Pete, in return, Non-Dream Pete has a hard-on. Non-Dream Pete is still completely unaware what he is doing, so he just stays in that position.
It's 9:30 a.m. Patrick wakes up and notices someone in his bed. He looks down at his crotch and sees that it's a hand. The tattoos on Pete's arm gave him away, he turns his head to see if Pete is awake and notices that Pete has a hard-on.
"Pete, dude, wake up." Not alarmed he just whispers that, then lightly shakes Pete's right shoulder.
"Hey, wake up." Pete opens his eyes, not quite sure if this is reality.
"What?"
"You're in my bed... with um..." Patrick sort of glances down just to hint to Pete what he meant.
"Oh, god, I'm sorry." Pete sits up, starting to get out of the bed, when Patrick grabs his arm.
"Hey, did you sleep walk or something?" Patrick thinks he knows at this point what Pete wanted to tell him last night.
"I must've." Pete rubs his eyes and stretches.
"Pete,"
"Yeah?"
"I don't want to offend you or anything, but... is this what you wanted to talk about?"
"Patrick..." Pete is just sitting on the bed not facing Patrick.
"It's okay, we're best friends."
"I've just been... having these dreams... About you."
Pete finally turns around to face him, but just looks down at his hands avoiding eye contact.
"Pete, it's okay... I mean like I said we're best friends, it's only natural to, you know, get feelings for the other."
"But it's just... well I mean... I think it's just."
"It's alright. See I have feelings for you too."
"I don't think they're the same kind." Patrick sits up and hugs Pete. "Patrick-"
"Shhh." Patrick breaks the hug and finally got Pete to look at him. Patrick leans in for a kiss to show Pete what he means. It's everything Pete dreamt, and more. Such a slow kiss, they are in no rush to get naked, or anything. Just enjoy the moment. Pete breaks the kiss.
"Patrick, I didn't know you felt this way."
"I didn't know you felt this way, either." Patrick smiles at Pete. Pete's mind is going wild, again, just this time with, new songs, new ideas, new everything. All the same old thoughts seem like enchanted blessings, or something of the sort. They keep kissing, just relaxed, not wearing each other out. Pete lays Patrick down on the bed, worried that if he moves to fast he'll just break the moment. They are moving in waves, relaxed waves of love, is what Pete thought. They're both hard, and don't really know what to do with each other, but they figure it out.
They've been in bed nearly an hour at this point, both naked, making plans to never get out of bed. Pete is on his left side, Patrick on his right facing each other. Their legs are clasped together like hands, Patrick's arm is reached to Pete's lower back. Pete is just resting his head on his hands.
"I think... I love you." Pete says to Patrick "I mean it can't be too early right? I mean we've known each other for a long time, I think I've always loved you, I just didn't know how to say it."
"I love you too, Pete."
It wasn't long before Joe and Andy knew, though they were suspecting it for some time now. Pete and Patrick didn't care who knew, who approved. They walked down streets holding hands, kissed on benches. Since they've been together Pete hasn't taken a single pill, Patrick is all the drug he needs. Their lives just seem so easy now. Touring isn't stressful, the planning, nothing can bring them down. Every moment is just bliss.