Author's Note: Basically a free-write thing on my part, Serena's point of view, second person, watching Blair&Chuck find each other. Probably disregards the drama of previous episodes...but it's set wherever makes sense to you when you're reading it! :)
You ask her what's wrong, but you already know the answer. You hate him for her. You hate him because you know she never can. And you hate him because in spite of it all you know he loves her.
She's sitting on your bed, playing with a pillow, the one with the frilly little decorations, that she's picking at tirelessly. Her lips attempt to curl into a smile that will refuse to reach her eyes, and you stretch out beside her to let her know you get it, and she doesn't need to pretend. But of course she needs to pretend, she's never not pretending. Except with him. Yeah, that was never pretend. That was far too real. She sighs and sets down the pillow, exhaling slowly as she does. You both sit in silence, for a long time, just kind of staring into space - thinking. Finally, she tells you she's tired, and should probably get home. You nod, knowingly, because you both need this - these moments together, in basic silence, just with each other. Because you both have problems and neither of you really want or need to talk about them, so just being together and musing is good enough. But eventually you must return to your lives, and the faces you wear for everyone else.
You tell her you'll walk her out, but she gets up abruptly and attempts her fake smile, this time slightly more successful, and tells you not to worry, it's not a long walk. You sigh softly, and fall back on your bed, because you really are tired and she's right, it's not far, and walking her to the door won't fix the hurting in either of your hearts. Your door falls softly behind her, but does not close, and you are in the process of getting up to fix it when you hear him.
Shit, you didn't know he was home, and obviously she didn't either. Hushed words, smug accusations, you can practically hear the smirk in his voice. You lean closer to the door, and it's open enough that you can see them pretty clearly, him leaning closer while she pushes away. You are about to open the door and start yelling when –smack!– her hand meets his face with a violent force. You suppress a snort as his eyes flash with pain and frustration, and probably amusement as well. She turns to leave, but he grabs her, pulling her into him. This time she doesn't hit him, and you silently hate him a little more for taking advantage of the fact that she could never effectively resist him. But then again, he could never really resist her, either. And you guess that fact has something to do with the scene unfolding in front of your eyes.
They stare at each other for a long time, a very, very long time, and you are starting to wonder if you are going crazy, because you swear to god neither of them have breathed in the last 10 minutes. Finally, he reaches out and brushes her cheek, and suddenly she's in his arms and their lips meet and there's passion and fire…and you soon feel very, very guilty for watching, but you can't tear your eyes away. He pulls back first, and you expect to see lust and desire in those fierce eyes of his, which explains why you are so surprised, because you can see nothing but softness, and care, and probably, no, definitely love.
And you smile because he's showing her, and she has to see it, and you know she does when you hear her gasp, and he looks down, concerned, but now they're both grinning like idiots and he's whispering in her ear and she's nodding and smiling and whispering back...and now they're slowly moving towards his room, which is just as well, because you are worried about how stalker-ish you must look right now, and you're thankful they are too caught up in each other to notice.
You smile as they disappear down the hall, and you know that this time it will be right. This time, you won't have to hate him for her. This time, you might just have to hate both of them, for everything they have, because it's too damn beautiful. But you know you're okay with that, because it gives you hope, and makes you smile, and it will make her smile, the real smile, the one that does reach her eyes. You go to bed happy tonight, because really, if she finally has what she wants...well it can only be a matter of time before you find what you're missing as well.