Gamer4 in, and once more, I find myself welcoming you to a new fanfiction! Time to pop some poppers and break out some soda- Livewire- the good stuff- because this new fiction is for the series that has become my new all-consuming obsession- RWBY! In truth, the inspiration for this story came from my fellow writers on this site- particularly Raziel12's A Dose of RWBY and Madcinder's RubyRolled!. Both are fantastic stories, well worth a read, particularly if you need a laugh (which, with the direction the show's taking, you probably do,) and inspired me to attempt a one-shot series story of my own! ... That was a bit of a run-on sentence. For the most part, these one-shots should be pretty episodic, each in their own little world, though if a story arc does creep through the woodwork... well, what happens happens. For anyone who follows my stories outside the RWBY fandom, this story should be similar to the Mario Mario series, except without an overarching plotline- for the most part. Think of it as a story made up entirely of random quickies. And, finally, for anyone following my other RWBY story, The Faunus in the High Castle, I am in the process of writing up the next chapter, but I really needed to do something silly today- I won't get into why, but a break from seriousness and a romp through the whackier side of this wonderful series is something that I truly need. Hope you all enjoy! Let's get started!

Disclaimer: As ever, you'll get this once, and only the once- I do not own RWBY- it was created by Monty Oum, rest his soul, and is currently owned by Rooster Teeth- don't know why I specify 'currently,' it's... pretty likely to remain that way well into the foreseeable future. Incidentally, this story's title is a reference to an old comic strip, Bloom County, which I don't own either- but unless an episode or two later on reference said strip in some way, I feel no need to actively disclaim that.

RWBY County

Episode I

Pilot

Blake's head snapped up, her feline ears pricked beneath her bow. "There's something wrong."

Ruby, the only other current occupant of their shared dorm room, glanced over in confusion from the game she was playing on her scroll- which may or may not have involved a square jumping across pits upon pits upon pits upon pits of spiky triangles. "Blake?" she asked, eyebrows raised.

"Do you hear that?" Blake asked, raising a hand for silence.

Ruby's face showed nothing but confusion as she gazed at her faunus friend. "Hear what?"

Blake's eyebrows knitted as she rose from her bed. A moment later, she shook it off. "Nothing, nothing... just... I have to go."

The confusion on Ruby's face grew even more pronounced as Blake leapt to her feet and dashed across the room to the door, hardly even noticing as she barreled Yang out of the way in her haste to enter the hall. Yang's face shifted to mimic Ruby's as she turned to watch her partner tear down the hallway, practically on all fours. "What's gotten into her?"

"No idea," Ruby shrugged. "Everything was fine, then she just jumps up, says she hears something, and tears out."

"Well, if she wants to keep her secret," Yang noted, an eyebrow arched in concern, "that's not really the best way to go about it."

Ruby bit her lip slightly before changing the subject. "So... you seen Weiss today, sis?"

The concern on Yang's face instantly gave way to a smirk. "Oh, yeah, she's in the library- playing that game I lent her the other day."

"You got Weiss to play a video game?" Ruby asked, eyes alight with amazement- after all the heiresses tirades about the 'brain-rotting time waster,' the idea of her sitting down to play one was rather unusual.

"A puzzle game," Yang explained. "I guess there's no harm in bringing it up in conversation with her and subtly implying she might not be smart enough to handle it..."

XXXX

Weiss's teeth were grinding together fiercely enough that the subconscious part of her brain began to worry that she would get kicked out of the library, where she was currently sitting with a handheld game system in her hands, a pair of headphones over her ears, and glaring daggers at what was portrayed on screen. "Professor Layton, you'd better smile this time," she snarled under her breath as she input what had to be the right answer- if not that, what else?

A moment passed, and the failure sound effect played in her ears- mocking her. "Frankly, I'm... ashamed," came the voice of the game's protagonist, just rubbing the failure in further.

For a moment, Weiss wondered if she was going to pop a blood vessel out of pure, unadulterated fury.

XXXX

Ruby let out a low whistle. "Threw down the gauntlet, huh, sis?"

"It worked, didn't it?" Yang pointed out, finally shedding her smirk as she turned around. "Well, I think I should go see what's up with Blake."

"Have fun," Ruby shrugged as her sister ducked out the door, before turning back to her scroll, switching over to a high-tech game of Scrabble. Smiling at her letters, she put them in. "I...G...L...O...O..." She chuckled. "That's a fun word. Igloo." Glancing around, a smile began to take over her face as an idea occurred to her. "I wonder..."

XXXX

This game was going to be the death of her, Weiss decided as she picked up yet another puzzle to embarrass herself over- presented with a chessboard and eight queens, place them upon the board in such a way that none obstructed the movement of the others. It seemed that no matter how far out of her way she went to fulfill those conditions, there were always two queens that insisted on getting in each other's way.

She looked up, distracted, when a certain black-themed faunus made her way into the library, acting very unusual- her eyes were slits, her bow was twitching freely with little regard to the secret it concealed, and her nostrils were dilated in a way that indicated she was very keen on a certain smell. Removing her headphones, Weiss spoke up. "Is something wrong, Blake?"

Blake thrust out a finger over Weiss's lips, glancing around suspiciously. "The walls have ears," was all she had to say before she turned and belted back out of the library.

"Something up with Blake?" came another voice from behind the heiress- she turned to see Jaune approaching.

"Who knows," Weiss shook her head. "I thought she'd be the sanest member of our group, but I'm starting to realize I'm the only member of RWBY with a good head on her sho- ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!"

For her latest attempt to position the queens had revealed that each and every one of them had their paths obstructed.

"Having trouble there, Snow Angel?" Jaune asked, smiling and turning on the charm- such as it was.

Weiss sighed. "This game Yang made me play... I swear these puzzles are impossible."

"Impossible?" Jaune asked. "Mind if I take a look?"

"Be my guest," Weiss grumbled, tossing the handheld over to him. He gave a smile and a quick nod before gazing down at the screen.

"Chess, huh?" he muttered under his breath before beginning to slide a finger around the screen. Weiss scoffed internally- if she could go for ten minutes without ever getting near a solution, then Jaune stood no-

*Chime!*

"Critical thinking is the key to success!"

"There you go, Snow Angel- not too difficult."

Weiss took the handheld back in disbelief- and yet, there was Professor Layton himself, pointing and smiling at the solution. "How..."

"Seven sisters," Jaune shrugged off. "We settled everything through games- Chess most of all."

Weiss opened and closed her mouth for a moment, until Yang appeared behind her. "Hey, Ice Queen, Blake pass through here recently?"

"Yeah, she went that way," Weiss grumbled dismissively. Yang uttered a quick thanks and was on the point of heading out again before Weiss reached out and grabbed her shoulder. "Take this... this thing with you," she growled, shoving the handheld at her.

Yang accepted it with a smirk. "Professor Layton a little hot for you to handle?"

"That game is dehumanizing!" Weiss snarled. "I don't know why I let you trick me into playing it- if I have to go through one more sliding block puzzle..."

"Hey, no biggy," Yang shrugged, eyes alight with mischief. "You can't handle what you can't handle, no shame in giving up on a puzzle game designed for children."

Weiss glared coldly at her for a moment before reaching out her hand. "Give it back."

"Somehow, I knew you'd say that," Yang smirked, handing the handheld back over. "Gotta go!"

As Yang dashed out, Weiss turned on Jaune, fighting to keep his face as neutral as possible. She directed her ice-cold glare towards him, and pointed up at him with a single furious finger. "Don't tell anybody about this, got it?"

"Got it," Jaune nodded. "What happens in the library, stays in the library."

"Good. Because if not, I might just have to tell Pyrrha-"

"No need to threaten me, I said I wouldn't tell anybody!"

"Good," Weiss nodded again. "Just making certain."

XXXX

Weiss was on the point of cursing as she stomped through the halls of Beacon back to the dorm she shared with Ruby, Yang and Blake. The accursed blond brawler always knew exactly which buttons to push- despite her insistence on shelving this game and doing something useful, here she was, heading back to her dorm to slide blocks around, place more chess pieces, try to put together increasingly rambling word puzzles...

"Oh! Heh, heh... Hey, Weiss!"

... And then there was her partner, perhaps the biggest puzzle of all.

Weiss closed her eyes, slowly backing out of the room and shutting the door. One... two... three... four... five... she struggled to keep her cool as she opened the door once again.

Sure enough, she hadn't been imagining things- Ruby was currently standing in the middle of the dorm room- surrounded by chunks and chunks of broken-up ice. Between this and her previous frustrations, it was taking everything she had not to explode. Struggling to keep it in, she crossed her arms and began tapping her shoulder. Not trusting herself to speak too much, she settled for a one-word question. "Why?"

Ruby's nerves showed on her face as she kept her eyes fixed on Weiss's shoes, tapping her index fingers together. "Well, I wanted to build an igloo, so..."

Weiss closed her eyes, struggling to steady her breathing. "Why?"

"Well, I was playing Scrabble earlier, and that word came up, and I was thinking about what a cool word it is, and then I started thinking that igloos are pretty cool, too... I mean, you build something out of ice to keep yourself warm.... It's completely counter-intuitive, but it works! So I thought I'd try it out for myself..."

Weiss was fairly certain she could feel foam forming in her mouth at this point. "And the ice comes from...?"

"I... I may have borrowed some of your Dust..."

Some of the aforementioned foam began descending down Weiss's chin. Her eyes flicked from Ruby to the game Yang had forced on her, to the ice dotted around the room in no detectable pattern... and she sighed. The best she could figure, this day had made her so blindingly furious that she'd come full circle and was calm again. "You know, Ruby... you know..."

"I know...?" Ruby flinched.

Weiss sighed. "Nothing. Just... just clean this up, okay?"

She was on the point of climbing into her bed and seeing what new torments this horrendous game held in store for her when she heard a soft sound, not unlike the coo of a dove. Recognizing it, she turned back towards her partner. "Weiss, do you think... do you think you could help me build an igloo?"

Weiss's eye twitched. "And what makes you think that I'd agree to that?"

"Well, it's just that you can form ice with Myrtenaster, right? I thought, even if you can't make an igloo directly, it could make things easier..."

Weiss wished she could honestly say she'd learned to turn her back on Ruby when she put on those puppy-dog eyes of hers- the eyes that turned all others into putty in the young girl's hands. But... she couldn't. Looking from her bed to her partner, she bit her lip, and finally sighed. "Ruby... are you any good at puzzles?"

"Puzzles? Well, I'm a big fan of the Professor Layton series- none of those puzzles are any match for me!" A note of pride entered the hood-wearer's voice towards that sentence's end.

If Weiss listened closely, she could swear she heard the sound of her temple throbbing. "Fine... look... I need help with a few of that game's... puzzles... so if I help you build this igloo, can you lend me a hand? And not tell Yang?"

"What happens in the igloo stays in the igloo!" Ruby yipped, leaping to her feet, reminding Weiss more of an overexcited pooch all the time.

XXXX

Blake continued to stalk down the corridors, her nostrils as wide open as possible, ears at the ready, eyes more feral than they'd been in years- which made it all the more confusing for her when she still failed to notice Yang approaching her from behind. "Hey, Blakey, whatcha doin'?"

"Yang!" Blake spun around, before tackling her and dragging her behind the nearest wall. "Quiet!"

"Hey, easy there, Blakey!" Yang smirked. "I never thought you'd be the one to-"

"No jokes- not now!" Blake hissed.

Yang shook her head, bringing on a more serious expression. "Okay, Blake, what's going on? You dash out of the room, nearly knock me over, run to the library, and, according to Weiss, run right back out again. Is something wrong?" A thought occurring to her, she lowered her voice even more. "Is... is it the White Fang again?"

"No, something bigger- much, much bigger," Blake whispered- Yang had to strain her ears to hear. "Yang... I'm looking for the fourth wall."

A dead silence descended on the hallway. Yang blinked. "The... fourth wall? There are plenty of walls around here- take your pick."

"No, not that fourth wall," Blake shook her head in agitation. "Look, you already know about how our life is a story, right?"

"...I do?" Yang asked, a single eyebrow going up towards her hair.

"Haven't I told you about this before?" Blake sighed in exasperation.

"Well, I think you've said something like that before." Yang stroked her chin, thinking back as far as she could. "Something like 'A story is just something important in the lives of its characters'?"

"No, too metaphorical," Blake shook her head fervently. "When I say our lives are stories, I'm being literal- as in, it's a show that people can watch."

"Like Vale's Funniest Home Videos?" Yang asked.

"No, not like Vale's Funniest Home Videos," Blake shook her head. "We're living in a TV show!"

"So... like that one Tim Jerry movie? The Cluman Show?" Honestly, Blake had left Yang behind a while back- her other eyebrow was joining its fellow up in her bangs.

Blake sighed. "Close enough. But just now, I sensed something- a disturbance, as though our story changed hands- something's knocked everything off the rails."

"I don't follow," Yang admitted- Blake had left her in the dust.

Blake sighed. "Before, we had a script- a clear direction that we were following, but now... now everything's been thrown off, anything can happen from here on out!"

Yang blinked- she still had no idea what Blake was talking about, but she seemed upset, and that was something she certainly didn't want. "Well... is that necessarily a bad thing?"

"What?" Blake asked, focusing on her once more.

"You say the story's been thrown off the rails- but what if the original story sucked? Or was something we didn't really want to live? Maybe the new story will work out better for us?"

Blake's eyes narrowed. "You still have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?"

"Not a clue," Yang confirmed. "But either way, maybe for now, the best course of action would be to just go back to the dorm and rest, what do you say?"

Blake's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "You think I'm crazy and might be able to sleep it off."

"What? No, of course not!" Yang shook her head quickly, summoning an innocence halo above her head. Quailing under Blake's subsequent glare, she retracted her statement. "Okay, maybe a little. But still- some R&R is hardly going to hurt you. Tell you what- you relax a bit, and if you still want to go after that fourth wall later after you've thought things over, I'll help you then. Okay?"

Blake sighed, rubbing her eyes with the heels of her hands. Now that she thought about it, her sleeping patterns had been somewhat out of whack lately. "Alright. Honestly, some rest sounds good."

"Good," Yang smiled, glad that this conversation had gone over better than their last about Blake resting. "Alright, let's... get... back... to... our... dorm..."

Her voice trailed off- she'd just opened the door to the dorm to reveal a dome of ice with a small tunnel leading in, sitting there in the middle their chamber. From the inside came a pair of voices that sounded much like Ruby and Weiss.

"No, it's not going in there, no matter how hard you try."

"Are you sure, Weiss? Wiggle it around a little, it should be fitting by now."

"I'm telling you, it's not going to fit!" *Sigh.* "I always did have you pegged as the kind of kid who kept trying to shove the square into the circle hole."

"I'm telling you, it'll fit!"

Blake blinked as Yang shut the door, a tint of red in her eyes as she turned towards the faunus, grabbing her hand and leading her away. "Yang?"

"Come on, Blake," Yang growled. "We're going to find the fourth wall."

XXXX

Meanwhile, back in the igloo, Weiss was struggling to force the last block into place.

"It should be fitting by now!" Ruby insisted. "Let me have a look!" A moment later, she grinned. "Aha! This block didn't get moved quite enough! Watch!" She touched the screen, sliding the offending block just a millimeter further to the left, before sliding the puzzle's central block to fill the newly vacated spot.

"Every puzzle has an answer!" the game chimed.

Weiss sighed. "Ruby?"

"Yes, Weiss?"

"I hate you."

"No, you don't!~"

XXXX

And thus concludes the pilot episode of... RWBY County! Hope you enjoyed, just gonna put a last couple notes down here before signing off- to begin with, chronology. While this is obviously supposed to be mainly humor, if one wanted to place it into the timeline, imagine it as a series of events that somehow all manage to take place after Volume 2 but before the start of volume 3- though it's fairly likely volume 3 will never come up in this story.

Honestly, that's all I have left to say- again, hope you all enjoyed! If you did, or even if you didn't, or if you have an idea you'd like to share (I have my own, but always glad to hear what you guys think!), then, please R&R, constructive criticism embraced, flames, not so much, Gamer4 out!