I always wanted to know what happened between the ending of Mockingjay and the epilogue. So I decided to make my own story and get it out here. I hope you guys like it.

I don't own any of the characters, they all belong to Suzanne Collins

I sit in the chair across the fire place day after day waiting for time to pass. That seems to be a big problem for me, time. As long as it exists I will never heal. I've been sitting in this chair since we came back from the Capital. I don't know how long it's been exactly, if it's been weeks or months. All I know is that I lost the one person I cared most about. My little duck, she's gone and it's all my fault. I spend my days thinking about her, imagining what would life be like if she didn't...I can't even bring myself to think about that word. I think of all the good memories we had together, but I regret it as soon as the sun goes down.

Night is the worst time for me, I tried not to sleep at first so I could avoid the nightmares that haunt my nights. But I soon realized that it wasn't possible. So when I finally let sleep take my, the nightmares begin. At first I would wake up screaming so loud, Haymitch would come running in to check on me. But after a while he stopped coming. And I haven't seen him since then. I guess he can't stand the sight of me, but I don't blame him. I can't stand myself either. When I first came back home I saw myself in the hallway mirror, and I lost it. I smashed the mirror with my bare hands, which I regretted later. So when Greasy Sae came in and saw the bloody mess that were my hands, she grabbed some bed sheets and covered all the mirrors downstairs. She didn't bother with upstairs because I never go up there. Her room is there; my little duck, and I know that it's not a good idea if I go in there because I know that I would lose it and I don't want to ruin any of her things.

I stare into the fire place, thinking about everything that happened after I shot Coin. All I wanted was to take the little blue pill and join all the others that died for me. And I would have if it wasn't for Peeta. I don't know what he was trying to do, but it's his fault that I'm here right now. He crushed the pill, and I still don't know why. Does he still care for me, after all that happened to him? Of course not, how could he? I don't know what happened to Peeta once I left the Capital. All I know is that I'll probably never see him again, which is better for me anyway. Just staying here on my own so I can't hurt anyone else.

The phone starts ringing for the fourth time today and I I do what I always do when that happens, ignore it. Once it stops I go back to staring at the fire. I should hate fire, after all it has destroyed in my life. But for some reason this fire keeps me calm, it's contained not like the one on the stairs of the palace.

I hear the front door open, Greasy Sae comes, which means it's either breakfast or dinner time. I don't know why she keeps coming in and cook for me, I never eat any of it. But she still comes in and cooks for me, cleans the house and then she goes. I look out the window and I see darkness, which means it's dinner time. She tries to get me to eat, but eventually gives up leaving the full plate next to me on the table. I hear the door close, and I am alone for the night. I grab my blanket off the floor and let my eyes close waiting for the nightmares to start.

Thats it for the first chapter. I Hope you guys like it. Please review it would mean the world to me.