Chapter One: Why do I stay?

A/N: I don't own any of the characters. I own the plot and the poem which I wrote under my real name not the alias on this site.

Real tired

Running on a few hours of sleep

Been awake for hours

I had tossed and turned all night. I barely slept thanks to Ron. Ron had a bad day and of course he took it out on me. I've been in so much pain. Ron can take me to the heights of pleasure but he can also take me the pits of hell. Today I had been thinking about how I deserve more than what he is giving me.

But you can't seem to find me

Just letting you know that

I'm not listening at what you're trying to say.

I wasn't paying attention to Ron talking about the Chudley Cannons. He is still obsessed with them after all these years. I don't care how bad they are doing in the rankings. Quidditch is just a sport.

I know about her

That other girl. You can't keep your hands off of her.

So Why Do I stay?

I had seen Ron and Lavender together last week. I had only told Ginny because she noticed the tears I was holding back. I told her the truth and she had been ready to charge him down and kill him but I begged her not to even though I didn't have a reason for stopping her. Through the abuse and everything I had no clue why I stayed.

Because I could never bear to break someone's heart

And I know today

Is not the day I'm going to start

I could never bear to break Ron's heart by leaving him. I could never actually do that to anyone. I love Ron but I think that I need to say goodbye soon. I love him but I need to do what is best for me.

I don't have the courage to change you

But maybe you will change your mind

But everybody else keeps wondering

How you got me to stay

It's because I can't go my own way.

I want to change Ron. I want him to treat me like I should be treated. I can't really live without him. I love him but I can't let him do this.

Real depressed

Now that I know your heart's not with me.

Been crying for hours

But no one seems to hear me.

Just trying to take away the pain

I had cut myself when I went to the bathroom. When I was younger I had promised myself that I wouldn't do it when I was younger. I felt like I had no other options. Ron scared me and love isn't supposed to work like that.

Just wondering if you ever felt the same

So why did I stay.

Because I could never bare to break someone's heart

And today's is not the day

I'm not going to start

I don't have the courage to change you

But maybe you will change your mind

How did you get me to stay?

I can't even bare to think about the pain

I love you but you hurt me

Last night Ron had hurt me so bad it hurt just to think about it. My body covered in bruises. The sheets had blood on them. My body ached and I was scared for my life.

Did you ever really care?

I found you and you choose to

Desert me I need a guy who cares

I know harry would never do this to me. I know Fred, George, Bill, Charlie or hell even Percy wouldn't do this to me. Ron abuses me and cheats on me. Did he ever really care for me or was I just some easy lay?

Together we could have been great

But you just lost your chance.

Just leave and get out

Before I make my advance.

But why do I stay

Because I could never bare to break somebody's heart

And today's is the day

That I am choosing to start!

I am going to leave tomorrow. I'm gonna go out with Ginny and the rest of the Weasleys when Ron has work and they will help me. I know I have to do this. I am doing this not only for me but so I can live again.