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Title: Deep, Muted, Dim
Prompt: First Love (Rinne Matsuri Edition)
It's at the age of seven when she first learns what it means to have butterflies in one's stomach. It was the oddest of sensations. Curious viridian and even more curious mind know it's the small boy of obsidian hair and obsidian eyes that makes her heart move to a new beat. This body made her face heat, and it's then she wonders if the rumors of cooties are true—she had always believed it false.
Fingers that grip upon her mothers apron are what gather this woman of blonde's attention. The pout across her lips has her brows pinched and bottom lip puffed out. Her mother kneels to ruin her hand over her pale pink. She drops the question of if boys have cooties—her mother lets out the loudest of laughs. She asks if they don't then why does her heart move to this new rhythm, and why does her face heat with just standing beside him in class. The laugh she lets out this one is one wrapped in softness and a hum of her throat.
It's during the Rinne Matsuri that she decides that while she doesn't understand this feeling it's one that feels good. He's her secret gift giver this year, and his present is a single kunai that sits much too big within her small fingers. His left cheek is puffed and his obsidian are looking everywhere but her. It's not something she would of expected as a gift—it's not cute at all. It doesn't stop her from breaking into the widest of smiles though noticing how the wider she smiles the more his own face tints within a dusty red.
It's at the age of twelve when she's put on the same genin squad as this boy of obsidian hair, and eyes. She's older this time, and he's older as well. She had come to understand why is was that her mother had laughed the way she did when she asked about cooties—she had come to understand the hum of curiosity within her throat. She seeks to be acknowledge by this crush of hers—she says it's love, but where they sit now there's no true understanding of what it means to love. Ever girl has set their sights upon this boy who shows no interest—she's determined that she is the one that truly loves him.
He puts her in her place on more than one occasion. He's ruthless when he does it, but there's those moments when he's placing his trust in her. He's told her of his ambitions—they're dangerous, and he's come to protector her in the midst of missions—there's always a confident grin played across his mouth. They're teammates not lovers, but she's twelve and so it's impossible for her not to romanticize every action he makes.
It's during the Rinne Matsuri when she's deciding what to get for each member of her squad that she tries her best to think of what this boy would cherish—he had said himself he hated a lot of things and didn't particularly like anything. The ramen voucher is an easy gift for the knuckle head ninja, and a new shirt for the lazy leader of the squad is practical. She's looking among everything displayed, and nothing quite holds the same fit. Viridian capture site of one time—it's a set of three necklaces; one deep green, one muted red, and one dim yellow—but then she dismisses it thinking it to be too girly to present to a boy like him.
Days later she buys it—she's spent more than she should have for a gift she questions he'll even like. There's the small guilt in having spent more on him then she had her other two teammates, but this is the boy she swears she loves. The plan to give him one each year makes her reason the cost. It's almost fitting though—she had received such a boyish gift from him when they were young, and now here she was giving him possibly something too girly.
Curious viridian watch when he opens it at the bridge as they wait for the always late leader. His face is decorated in the smallest of interest as his eyes look within this box that holds the green necklace. Obsidian look to her and there's opening of his mouth. He closes his mouth as if he's trying to formulate the right words and then it's the knuckle head ninja who's voice begins to tease him over the girlish accessory. Pale cheeks burn bright in red as he hurries to stuff it within his bag refusing to look at them and demanding the blonde shut his mouth.
His reaction is enough to tell her that she's probably made a mistake—maybe she wouldn't give him the other two.
It's at the age of thirteen that he's left their sides. Her dreams from when she was twelve has changed—she doesn't wish for her marriage to this boy she's crushed on since the age of seven. She just wants him home. She dreams of team seven being whole again. This does not lessen her love for him—she loved him with all of her heart. She had promised to make him happy if he would stay with her—and he had still walked away from them all. First loves were the hardest. First loves burned the brightest. First loves would always be different than what came after them—she doesn't think she'll ever love someone in the way that she's learn to love him.
There's no joy to be had in the Rinne Matsuri this year. Deep within her closet sits his remaining two gifts—they hold an entirely new purpose now as she holds the photo of team seven within her room. Laying back upon her bed she can only allow her viridian to look out to the sky that dares to peak at her from the small opening of her curtains. The deep inhale she takes is one to settle her heart. It doesn't comfort her in the slightest as she feels the tear slide down her face and into her ear. Fingers trail up to wipe where it had traveled.
Those necklaces were deep green, muted red, and dim yellow—their new purpose would be to remind him of team seven. Kakashi would be the green, and Naruto would be the yellow. She would be the red, and the final one she'd give if he ever came back to their sides. He has Kakashi with him she reasons—and maybe one day down the road he would have Naruto, and herself to go along with him. The choked laugh she lets out as she squeezes the picture tighter against her chest comes.
There's hope that he's safe and that he's able to find some joy away from home as he heads within the darkness to accomplish his ambition.
It's at the age of fifteen when she's grown stronger and she's grown more determined. She won't place this burden of bring the boy she loves back upon the knuckle head ninja. They've tried to substitute this boy with another who looks as though he could be related—it's not possible with her first love being the last Uchiha.
This new addition is difficult to handle at first. She may have struck him within his face as he spoke poorly of her first love—she would tolerate none of it. It's after seeing this boy of obsidian as he stands taller and older within the two years they've been separated that she realizes she can no longer see this boy as a boy. He's aged, and he's a man. They're only fifteen but there's no doubt that if he's a man she too must stop seeing herself as a little girl. She's a woman now, and they are shinobi.
He's still creating those butterflies within her stomach, but they're not the pleasant ones she remembers at the age of seven. He's still able to make her face heat within a dusty red, but it's not due to nervousness standing beside him. There's a touch of pain, and a touch of longing as he stands so close and so far. He doesn't attempt to hurt her—he's hurting every one but her, and yet she's too blind to it within her wishes to make team seven whole again.
A deep cry within her room after their first reunion is what she needs to continue moving forward. They still haven't brought him back, but she cannot let this stop her. One day it will happen and one day he will be a part of team seven. Somewhere inside that man was the boy she had crushed upon at the age of seven, and somewhere inside that man was the boy she fell in love with at the age of twelve. Somewhere inside that man was her first love.
The Rinne Matsuri comes, and this year she pushes herself to take within the festivities. Those necklaces that symbolize team seven still linger within her closet and there's a bitterness that swells within her heart wondering if he may have possibly thrown out the first one from when they were twelve. She wonders if he has thrown out the one meant to remind him of their squad leader.
It's at the age of seventeen after they've survived the war and they've managed to defeat a god that those butterflies have come back. Her feelings have changed in ways unlike when she was seven, and when she was twelve. He's her first love, and he's still the one she loves with all of her heart. No other had found a way to make themselves at home within her heart as he has done. She does not wish to keep him all to herself. She does not wish to marry this man. She only wants him to be happy. She will learn to love someone else, and learn to love someone new when he's finally found happiness—there's the irony in knowing she could never love someone more than him.
She's taken to visiting him every day within the cell that holds him. The seal that sits upon his face keeps those obsidian eyes from her, and the straight jacket that binds him keeps him from being able to reach out to them. He's taken his punishment, and he's doing as he's told. He does not fight them, and he's accepted he was wrong—he and the knuckle head ninja had almost died for it. She had been so angry with both of them for it.
Fingers had dug deep within the closet and blown the dust from the box that held the necklace of dim yellow. The Rinne Matsuri is in full swing and it's finally now that the girl of twelve would be able to resume this gift plan as a woman of seventeen. Ibuki is diligent in checking what she's bringing to this prisoner. The small smile they exchange is not normal, and she's sure it's the Rinne Matsuri that's brought this small exchange. She's given her standard thirty minutes. They do not let her within the cell, and that's okay. She's perfectly fine with sitting against the bars that hold him. Back pressed against the cold metal she greets him as she always does. It's soft whispers within the prison. She's always soft when she sits within this place. It's as he's made his way to sit against her with only the bar between them that she knows he's heard her. He never speaks and he never response—and that's okay too.
Thirty minutes comes quick, and it's before she raises from the floor and removes her back from the bars that she slides the box within the opening beside him. He cannot open it, and he cannot see it, but Ibuki has promised that he will take care of it when she leaves. She drops the familiar season greetings that come with this holiday, and tells him that she hopes he'll like it. The deep inhale she takes this time does comfort her as she gets to her feet.
Her feet still when he dares to make his own whisper within the dark.
It's simple gratitude and the way he says her name that makes her cheeks flush in dusty red.
"Of course, Sasuke-kun."
It's at the age of eighteen when he's been released, and he has set out on his journey early within the spring. She had requested to travel with him and he had affectionately tapped her head widening those ever curious viridian. He does not write her—and that's okay. He wants to atone for his sins. She wants him to go forward confidently in his own way. She wants him to more forward and see the world through eyes no longer clouded by darkness.
As he travels forward she decides it's time to have a new goal—a new dream. Having watched what trauma had done to him, and Naruto she hopes no one ever has to watch their family, their friend, their teammate or their first love the way she had.
Fingers curl upon the door knob of her small apartment of one at the knock that's come from it. She's not expecting visitors but she can only assume it's the caused by the blonde in his excitement for Rinne Matsuri. They're deep within the holiday, and she's meant to get dinner with him the following day. The dusty red covers her cheeks after a few minutes of curious viridian, and even more curious mind take in that her first love is standing at her door—she didn't even know he was returning.
It's awkward at first when she invites him in, and he instantly pushes the box he had hidden in his hand underneath the long poncho. He looks worn and tired in the weathered poncho of tan. Viridian are captured immediately in seeing the deep green, and dim yellow necklace she had given him at twelve and seventeen upon his neck. The butterflies within her stomach are flying and sending her heart soaring just as high. He's kept them—he's wearing them.
Obsidian have yet to look her way and it's as he finally speaks and asks her if she's going to open the box he's pushed upon her that she lets out a small laugh. Fingers are slow as she lifts the cover of the box and it's the mint green that floods her viridian within the box. She's gentle as she pulls the clothing from the box it's a simple button up cardigan. Viridian dare to sneek a look at this boy who had brought such a cute gift to her. The seven year old in her cannot stop the smile that won't stop widening upon her face. The wider her smile the heaver his cheeks brighten in red and he sinks his head deeper within the high color of his shirt.
There's the softest thank you that falls from her as she presses this gift against her chest. They're not lovers their teammates but that doesn't lessen the joy this brings her. He's her first love—he's her only love. She's quick in running to her room she's excited to try the shirt on and grab him the final necklace that would be the reminder of her on his journey for atonement. She's not more than a few minutes and she's back to him still standing awkwardly within her entryway. His blush has cooled considerably, and it's as she stands before him with the box in hand, and fingers evening out her pale rose-colored stands that his obsidian have finally met her viridian.
She's opening the box slowly and holding it out to him. His fingers hesitate at first as he takes the necklace out from the padded box and his eyes come back to her in that moment. It's a shared glance that brings her stepping closer as she whispers within this short distance.
"You have one to remind you of each of us." she's hesitant as she helps bring it over his head and tucking it under the collar of his poncho, "Now we'll be with you always no matter how far you go."
He doesn't respond at first—and that's okay. Everything's okay because he's here and he's back with team seven. That's all she ever needs from this first love of hers. It's his fingers that come towards her with what she can only gauge as nervous boyish curiosity. It's his fingers within her hair and the heat of his face against her cheek as he whispers another thank you. Her own fingers curl within his poncho and there's that sting within her eyes as she tells herself not to cry at this action so tender from him.
At the age of seven he was the boy she had held a crush on. At the age of twelve she had been just a fangirl of his. At the age of thirteen she had moved on from crushes, and fangirling to loving him with all of her heart. At the age of fifteen she had loved him even after he sought to destroy their bonds as teammates. At the age of seventeen her loved had become unconditional with no strings attached. At the age of eighteen she continued to wish to bring him all the happiness she could.
First loves were the hardest. First loves burned the brightest. First loves would always be different than what came after them—she's proven her younger self right in believing there will never be anyone she loves so completely.