"You son of a bitch!" A loud crashing sound was soon followed by my own scream. Yet another one of Beck's pictures lie on the floor; the glass shattered the instant it hit the floor. I don't know how many of his things I've trashed in the short amount of time I've been here. All I do know is that I'm glad he and his parents are out of town. He was always such a coward; he dumps me and then goes on vacation; go figure. I was pissed and needed to blow off some steam. What better way than by breaking into his RV and trashing everything in sight. I'm not doing this out of revenge or out of jealously for the gank he left me for. I'm doing this because I want to. He wasted two years of my life and this is the only way I can get back at him.
Just thinking about him is pissing me off even more. Without looking I slam my fist into the nearest object. Said object just so happened to be a mirror which shattered from the impact sending sharp, jagged shards of glass into my hand. Mother of god that hurts! Lovely, now I'm bleeding like hell. The jerk isn't even here, yet he still finds a way to hurt me. Okay, even I have to admit, that was a stretch. This is my own fault; and I should probably stop the bleeding.
"Damn, I can't find any rags anywhere. Well, guess I'll use one of his shirts, not like I give a damn about it." I snatched up one of Beck's shirts from the floor and wrapped my hand in it. Now what should I do? Guess I could just sit down and try and calm myself a bit more.
Using my hand that wasn't bleeding like crazy I shoved random items off of the bed. Sitting down I nearly shudder; to think I had gotten so close to "giving myself to him" on this very bed. People always think that Beck is a sweet innocent guy. Yeah right; dude's a total perv and a jerk. Great, I'm pissing myself off again. I just need to relax and-
I hear this loud bang; someone's beating on the door. Who the hell would be here? Forget that, what am I gonna do if I get caught in here? Looking around frantically I see that there's nowhere for me to hide. I'm totally screwed. Before I can even stand up, the door flies open; why hadn't I locked it back? I'm such an idiot. Preparing myself for the worst I instinctively tense all of my muscles; this can't end well.
"Jade, what are you doing here?" Not the voice I expected. Looking up quickly I stare, in utter shock, at none other than Tori Vega. What is Vega doing here?
"What's it matter to you? And why exactly are YOU here anyway?" I feel all of my anger seeping out of me again and I want to hit something. I'd rather not screw up my other hand so I just grit my teeth.
"You looked really upset when you left school, so I asked Cat if she knew what was up with you. She said that you mumbled something about going to Beck's. I wanted to make sure you were okay so, here I am." She spoke nervously as she glanced around the room, I had REALLY trashed the place; good, that was the plan.
"Once again; what's it to you?" She flinches at the anger in my voice like I'm going to hit her or something. She may put up a pretty brave front around everyone else, but get her alone and Vega is just a scared little bunny. Guess I'm the fox that's always hunting her down. Whoa, where did that come from? It's not like I know her that well, today is just messing with my head way too much.
"Look Jade, like it or not you're my friend, I care about you and-" Her words cut off and her face went pale. Confused, I follow her gaze until I'm staring at my busted up hand. It's bled through the shirt I had wrapped it in and now blood was dripping from it. Great, just what I needed, major bleeding. "Jade, what happened?" With caring in her voice she knelt down onto the floor and carefully grasped my hand. For some odd reason I let her; I let Vega get away with more personal contact than I should. As she unwraps my hand I nonchalantly answer her question;
"I got pissed and accidentally punched that mirror over there." Using my other hand I pointed to the broken mirror, only a few shards were still held by its frame. She looks up at me; worry and fear have taken over her usually bright eyes. There I go again thinking weird things about Vega; maybe I've lost more blood than I thought I had.
"Well, it looks like most of the bleeding has stopped, but some these cuts are pretty deep. You want me to drive you to the hospital?" Like hell I'd want to go to the hospital! I'd get pinned for "self-abuse" or whatever they call it. I yank my hand from hers; I don't need her care or her pity.
"Just leave me the hell alone Vega. I don't need your help. I don't need anyone." That last part comes out as a broken whisper and I don't know why. I feel a hot stinging pain in my eyes like I'm about to start crying. What's wrong with me all of a sudden?
She stands up and I'm thinking, hoping, she's going to leave, but she doesn't. She sits down next to me on the bed. She's close, way too close. I don't want to be near her like this, yet I can't get myself to move. I don't understand what's going on with me and it's scaring the hell out of me.
"Jade, talk to me; it's not good for you to sit and seethe like this. I don't like seeing you this upset." She's giving me that look again, like seeing me like this is breaking her heart or something. I've confided in her before, I guess I can handle doing it again. But there's no way in hell I'm gonna look at her while I talk, that would just be too much. That would mean that I fully trust her, trust her to see the emotions that I know will cross over my face, let her see how hard all of this is for me. I can't let her see me that weak, not after the last time; once was enough.
"It's pretty simple; Beck dumped me and then went on vacation with his parents to Canada. Oh, and he took his new gank of a girlfriend with him." She started to speak but I held up my hand; "Let me finish. I came here to calm myself, I figure if he's gonna treat me like trash I may as well do the same to him. And the only thing I could think to do was to trash his place. It's not like I've got a fall back to throw in his face to show that I don't care. But I'm not like that, I don't play with people's hearts just for the fun of it; I'm not like him." I feel myself getting angrier and, for some reason, depressed. Why? I wasn't sad about Beck, I was just pissed; so what's making me feel this way?
"What do you mean he plays with people's hearts? What did he do?"
"It's not what he did, it's what he kept trying to do!" I punched the bed with my good hand causing Tori to jump in fear. She's way too skittish. "Calm down Vega, I'm not gonna hit you." My own voice sounded odd to me, softer, calming. I just don't get this but I feel like it's got something to do with her.
"Sorry for being jumpy, I'm just…nervous I guess. I've had a lot on my mind lately…" She trails off, her voice laden with sadness and longing. I'm tempted to ask her what she means but she speaks again before I have the chance. "But I'm fine; you continue with what you were saying." She rushes through her slight command obviously trying to get the attention away from herself. In a way she's like me; if she doesn't want to talk about something, she's not gonna talk about it. It's one of those small things I respect about her, not that she knows. As far as she knows, I hate her. But recently I don't know how I feel about anything anymore.
"Right, where was I? Oh yeah, Beck being a total perv and such." She gives me this look of confusion so I continue. "He would constantly try to push me to do certain…Things with him, things I don't want to do with any guy." I glance over just in time to see her blush which is actually a good look for her. The slight red tent on her cheeks helps to bring out that burning ember colour in her eyes and makes them even brighter. Wait, what? Where the hell is all of this coming from? It's like I can't stop noticing how…How pretty she is. No, that's not the right word. Beautiful, like a goddess of some Greek myth that was never seen by human eyes. Dear god, this is making me sound gay. Well, it's not like I've never been curious about other girls before. Honestly, after the day I've had, I'd be more than happy to swear off guys forever. Not where all of this should be going but I just can't shut my thoughts up.
"Jade? You okay?" Her voice brings me out of my thoughts and I realize I've been looking in her eyes while thinking to myself. Well, this is awkward.
"Yeah, just thinking about something." I can't look away, it's like her eyes are holding mine in some kind of spell. This is weird, I'm supposed to hate her but it's like all of that hate is fading out of me and being replaced by something else. But what is it?
I feel the bed shift a bit and notice she's moving closer to me. What is she- Okay, what the hell? She's…Hugging me. Like full on; her arms are tightly wrapped around me, her left hand resting on the small of my back and her right hand on the back of my head causing me to rest my chin on her shoulder. She speaks in a low whisper;
"You're crying." I blink and feel the tears slide down my cheeks. I lose all self-control at this point. I'm hugging her back, tighter than I should be, enough to hurt her but she doesn't complain. I take in a rough, ragged breath and start sobbing. I can't stop myself. I don't know why I'm crying like this, why I'm hugging her back. I just know that I feel comfort in this; the way her arms feel around me, the way she's running her left hand up and down my back in a soothing motion. "It's okay, I'm right here. I'm not gonna leave you Jade. Just let it out." Her voice is so soft, like how it changes when she sings those soft, slow love songs that I just love hearing from her. Again I have those weird thoughts about her. I've never felt like this with anyone. This feeling is nice though; it's warm and makes my heart race yet scares me at the same time. I feel like if I let this feeling take over I may lose myself. Who am I kidding; I've already lost myself as it is.
I don't know how long we've stayed like this; time has ceased to exist around me. All there is right now is just me in her arms. My sobbing has calmed down into gentle crying and my arms have relaxed a bit. I'm still holding her though, it's like I'm afraid she'll disappear if I let go. I don't get this though; I've never been one to get attached to people so why now? And why her? Why haven't I pushed her away? Why am I letting her hold me like this? Why is it that lately almost all of my thoughts have centered on her? I can't get her out of my head. Anytime I'm around her my heart rate goes insane, I get shaky and nervous and it's almost like that's where my hate comes from. Is that what it is? She makes me feel so vulnerable yet safe at the same time. She confuses the hell out of my head and does things to my heart. My heart; it's never been like this before. It's like she brings life into me, like she just slips right in without any effort. She didn't have to break down my self-built walls; she just walked right through them like they weren't even there.
I feel her grip on me loosen, she's letting me go and I don't want her to. I'm scared I'll fall apart right here and now if she lets me go. But she doesn't fully let go, she just leans back a bit so we can see each other. I feel a part of me, perhaps my heart, break a little when I see her face. Her eyes are red and it's obvious she's been crying too and now I'm even more confused.
"Why the hell are you crying?" I try to add my slightly snarky bitterness into the question but it comes out broken and ragged, my throat is so sore from crying.
"I don't know; I'm sad yet happy. Guess I let my emotions get the best of me." She smiles that beautiful smile that's full of confidence and I can't help but smile back. It's a small smile but she notices it. "Feel a little better now?"
"Yeah, I think so. But don't you dare tell anyone about this Vega." There's no anger in my voice and I can't help but let out a small laugh. She chuckles a little which is odd for her, generally she either laughs or giggles. There's something about that chuckle that sparks something in me; the way her voice is low, almost sensual.
"Don't worry Jade, this stays between us. Now, mind if I ask a question?" She tilts her head a bit and she looks mischievous. Sexy, that's immediately what comes to mind. I can't help it, to see "sweet, perfect, innocent" Tori Vega with that kind of look; it lets something loose inside me.
"That was a question but I let you have another one." I smirk at her like I always do, a special expression I save just for her.
"Don't get smart with me West." I feel a shiver run up my spine at the way she breathes out my last name. She's still so close to me that I feel her breath ghost across my face, hot against my chilled skin. She feels me shake and grins in a way that makes my heart skip a beat. "You cold? Wait; don't answer that, that's not the question I wanted to ask you." Nice save there Vega. "I kinda hate to ask this but; why were you crying earlier?" I should have known this was coming. What the hell am I supposed to tell her? The truth I guess.
"I honestly don't know. It just kinda happened I guess…" I turn my face away from her and let my hair cover my face. I can't let this get emotional again; I can't let myself say something that will ruin this moment between us.
"But you do know Jade, don't you? There's something you're not telling me. What is it?" She's slow and gentle with her words; she knows she can't push too hard for answers. She knows me way too well.
"I'm not sure what it is, honestly. It's some kind of feeling but I can't put a name to it." I feel tired all of a sudden and I feel myself sway a bit. She stills me and concern covers her face. "Don't look at me like that; it's not a good look for you."
"You wanna lie down? I don't mind." I guess I'm starting to worry her, but the thought of where we are finally dawns on me. I pull out of her arms and stand, grabbing her hand while doing so, pulling her up with me.
"Not here. We should leave." I don't give her a chance to protest; I just drag her out of the RV and out into the driveway.
"Wait, Jade, are you sure you're okay to drive? You seem really tired."
"I was planning on you giving me a ride actually."
"What about your car though?" As she says this she looks around the area which has become slightly dark with the sun setting in the distance. "Uh, Jade? Where's your car?" She glances at me, utterly confused.
I just smile, holding back a laugh; "I didn't drive, I walked." She moves to stand in front of me and I realize I'm still holding her hand, and she's not letting go of mine.
"You walked all the way here?"
"I was pissed; it was safer for me to walk than it was for me to drive." I said this calmly like it was obvious.
"Fair enough. I'll give you a ride." She starts to walk towards her car but I stay where I am, she stops when she feels my hand pull against hers. "What's wrong?" She turns and looks back at me.
I turn my face away from her eyes, suddenly feeling shy. "Can I stay at your place tonight?" I feel my face heat up asking her this. Great, now Vega has got me blushing, what next?
"Sure." I look back at her, not believing she said yes. She notices the confusion on my face and smiles at me. "I told you I'm not gonna leave you alone didn't I?"
She turns and I follow her to her car, still holding her hand.