The Desperado and the Deity
Soaked to the bone, I try to stay as dry as possible with little success. The roof of the dungeon is too leaky and the chain cuffed to my ankle is too short to avoid the filthy runoff from Castle Town above. Miserably, I hug myself as I'm splashed with another torrent of water.
Quite a situation you've landed in, Link," I think to myself. Except for a brief time in the Twilight Realm, I am unfamiliar with any other Hero of Legend being imprisoned in Hyrule Castle's dungeon. It's about as terrible as one could expect; there's little food, no comfort, and the malice of underpaid guards.
I've spent countless hours trying to escape, but with little success. I am chained by the ankle to the wall of the tiny cell and the chain is apparently enchanted. Even if I were to miraculously break the chain, I would have to deal with the solid cell door, a sewer crawling with guards, and the gates of Castle Town. Despite the impossibility of escape, I must find a way. It's a matter of life and death.
An unnerving laugh suddenly echoes throughout my cell.
I snap to attention. The laughter seems loud and discordant to a man who hasn't been spoken to in several days. A lone figure stands outside my cell, hunched over under what seems to be a large pack on his back.
"Who are you?" I ask, my voice cracking with underuse.
"That's not important," the stranger says, wringing his hands. His voice is high pitched and it reminds me of the hiss of snakes. "What is important is that I know of a way to get you out of here."
That gets my attention. I sit up in the growing puddle in my cell. Through the dim torchlight outside, I get a glimpse of the stranger's grinning face. I recognize this man from my parents' old books; it is the Happy Mask Salesman. My eyes grow wide. These are strange times indeed.
"What do you have in mind, stranger?" I ask, stretching as far as my chain will allow.
"Ho ho ho!" He chuckles. "Straight to the point, as always. Very well. I have the means of allowing you to escape. In return… I expect you to do something for me."
My heart sinks. There's always a catch with this guy. "Go on," I say gruffly.
"Throughout my travels, I've never had problems with your government," he says, looking pensive. "That's why I frequent your world so much. But… my shop was searched by your guards and a particularly powerful mask was taken from me." His thoughtful smile dissolves into a frown. "That is why… I hope you will return it to me."
I shouldn't have expected anything else from this guy, I think, repositioning myself on the stone floor. "What will this mask look like?" I ask.
"You'll know it when you see it," he says, his smile returning. "It is in the possetion of the one that has caused all of your problems."
That got my attention, but I keep my expression unreadable. "That seems an awful lot of dangerous work for just a simple jailbreak," I say cautiously.
"That is why I offer what you desire most," he says, producing a bottle from his bag and showing me the contents.
My heart skips. It's almost too good to be true. "It's a deal," I say and he stows the bottle in his pack again. "Any timeframe for the job? You seem pretty big on your schedule."
"Things aren't quite so urgent this time," he chuckles, but quickly shifts to a look of nervousness. "But I fear that terrible things will happen if you fail. If that mask were to get into the wrong hands…"
"Don't worry about it, I have you covered," I say. "Just get me out of here and I'll take care of the rest."
"Excellent," exclaims the Happy Mask Salesman, producing something very small from his bag.
"This is Faroe's wind," he says. He holds a green light enclosed in a crystal smaller than my thumbnail. "Magic has been very rare in your world as of late, so even this small portion is worth a fortune. This will get you to the surface." He tosses it to me. "Keep in mind that it's only one use."
"Okay, but what about this?" I motion to the chain around my ankle.
He snaps his fingers and the chain breaks, but the cuff remains on my ankle. I stand up and stretch for the first time in weeks.
"Well then, I am counting on you," the smiling salesman says. "Believe in your strengths…. Believe…"
I nod, holding my breath as I break the tiny crystal between my fingers. The world dissolves into a sphere of blinding green light.
The light dissipates in a flash that seems to pierce through my skull as my feet hit pavement. Not exactly discrete, but it's so early in the morning that hopefully nobody noticed.
As my vision returns to normal, I realize I'm in a particularly bleak alleyway of Castletown that I happen to recognize. I've been lucky so far. I quickly duck into a shadowy part of the alley to avoid any potential onlookers and the pouring rain.
My mind's running at a million miles a minute. I'm going to have to come up with a plan soon before the guards realize I'm gone. I suppose the west's my best bet, since the gates are not as well guarded and the wastes would discourage a potential posse. It won't exactly be the easiest route; the road's a little longer than I would prefer and there's a reason why a posse would be reluctant to journey through the wastes. But it's the best chance I have.
One thing's for certain: I won't be going anywhere without supplies. I take off down the alleyway at a brisk trot. The pavement's rough on my bare feet and I wince as the chain clanks with every step.
Not far down the road, I reach my destination : "Nayru's Curios". It's been several years since I've visited this store, but I'm hoping it still caries similar wares. I'm not surprised that the door's locked. I rummage through some garbage and find a thin piece of metal that'll do. With a little tinkering, the door opens.
The small store's even darker than the street outside, but my recent jailtime helps my eyes adjust quickly. The wares have been shifted around since the last time I was here, but everything's fairly easy to find.
The reason why I chose this particular store lies in the glass case by the counter; a Deku wood staff. The price tag reads a whopping 600 rupees, but, if I remember correctly, it's worth it. After rummaging a bit for keys, I carefully unlock the case and pull it out.
The staff's just an inch or two shorter than me, so I assume it's 5'6''. I weight it in my hands and it feels strangely light. Maybe, just maybe…
Feeling daring, I light a nearby lantern and shade the light so most of it is blocked. Sure enough, as I hold the staff to the light, the light it seems to refract around the staff in a way that it normally wouldn't. My heart begins to race. This staff is enchanted. If I'm right, this could withstand a swing from most swords. Maybe my luck's beginning to change after all, I think, possessively clutching the staff.
I quietly peruse the room, gathering a knapsack, some flint and steel, a loaf of bread, a skin of water, and a forest green travelling cloak that I throw on over my filthy rags. I feel a pang of guilt as I shove the bread in the knapsack, but I've no other choice but thievery if I want to survive the wastes.
A pair of boots catches my eye and I press one to my foot. Close enough. I step into one and quietly sit on a bench, taking a deep breath. Cringing, I shove the boot over the cuff around my ankle. I'll take care of that later.
Just as I adjust the chain inside the boot, insistent barking breaks the silence. I freeze. A perfectly black dog crawls out from under the bench, yapping away. Seconds later, a nearby door bursts open and a middle aged man jumps out, brandishing a knife. He's huge, probably a retired royal guard. And he's blocking the doorway.
Steeling myself, I quickly leap off the bench and manage to catch the shopkeeper in the side with my staff. He grunts, but I don't seem to faze him. Sure enough, he lunges forward, but I've kept my distance enough to easily sidestep him.
As he stumbles past, I remember the days of sparring with my father. I twist, taking out his legs. Before he can react, I swing the staff down with a sickening thump.
He'll live, but he won't give me any more trouble tonight.
I hear a scream. I look up, seeing a young woman about my age. Her eyes are as wide as fried eggs.
"YOU MONSTER!" she bellows. I turn around and get the hell out of there, her screams echoing through my ears. My heart aches.
I've only taken a few hurried steps from the shop when the night explodes with the sound of bells. The castle alarm has been sounded. It was bound to happen sooner or later, but I was hoping I could be clear in time. I step up the pace and the wind begins to whistle through my ears.
The gates are in sight, but people curiously begin to peer out their windows and several point at me curiously. My stomach growls, and I hope I'll have enough juice to get out of here.
It's been only a couple of minutes by the time I approach the gates, so only four guards stand determidly in front of the gates. Two stand with their spears facing me and the others ready their swords. I come to a stop, casually repositioning my staff.
"Halt!" says the one on the left. Sounds confident enough. "We will not hesitate to kill, prisoner."
I'm breathing a little heavily, but I try to suppress it. "Go for it," I say, forcing a smile.
Immediately, the swordsmen charge forward, closely followed by the spears. One immediately tries for an uppercut, but I easily parry the blow, forcing him back a few paces. Looks like the staff's enchanted after all.
The other swordsman flanks me, but I manage to land a kick to an unarmored thigh and he falls to his knees.
One spear strikes, than another, but I manage to dodge both. I may be underfed and out of shape, but I'm still faster than these guys. I am outnumbered, though, so I need to end this fight fast.
I see the first swordsman from a mile away as his dashes forward, blood in his eyes. I leap out of the way and a spear thrusts through his armor. He howls and the spearsman swears. I don't think it pierced his mail, but that'll be one hell of a bruise.
The other spearsman and swordsman come at me together. I parry left, then follow with a devastating uppercut. The swordsman narrowly dodges, but the blow smashes the other guard across the face, knocking off his helmet and sending him sprawling onto the pavement. I manage to get antother hit in before the other guard regains his balance and hear the sound of a breaking leg. A crack to the face and he goes down as well.
I see movment in the corner of my eye, so I instinctively duck. The knife clangs against the stone wall behind me. I allow myself to fall from my duck into a roll. When I face forward, the remaining guard silently kneels with his hands up.
"Sorry," I say, and clang the staff against his helmet. Like the others, he falls.
Without another glance, I charge through the gates and across the bridge. I may have escaped the castle with luck and adrenaline, but it'll take a lot more than that to survive the wastes.
As I enter the desolate West Hyrule Field, I take stock of my situation. .Not only was I jailed for a crime that I certainly committed, but, since I just escaped, I apparently have no respect for the concept of receiving just punishment.
Maybe someday I'll pay the price for my crime. But not today. There are more important things at stake right now than justice.