Indignity of Payback

Smoke.. i could feel the flames engulfing us my skin began to melt everything around me was crumbling down, i looked over there he was..., laying there convulsing in the throbbing searing pain, covered in the fire, he called out to me "TRUNKS!!!", i couldn't look at him i watched as flames engulfed him feeling his energy his ki growing increasingly scarce. He tried to say my name again but he couldn't he was coughing like my mother all those years smoking two packs of reds a day. I couldn't help but smirk i breathed smoke as I watched him burn, and cry and die slowly...painfully. I wanted to take in it all every ounce of me, when did i become like this? When did I lose my soul? I smirked and just watched....

CHAPTER 1

"GOTEN!!!" i yelled as went and gave my best friend a huge bear hug, he greeted my like usual his dimwitted cheerful self. I just looked at how my friend had grown up he was so...sexy, he had long spiky hair and always dressed the same it was kinda cute he has his name printed on almost all his shirts.

When did this happen? i thought fully aware now of the extent of my little crush on trunks

we were friends for years and yet i couldn't be open with him about myself, about how i felt of him i confidded with him everything but this was something i couldnt trust it was something that would either free my soul or destroy me. Goten was talking about some of the sluts he's been seeing i wasn't paying the least bit of attention. Just staring at him trying to hide it from him. I hated his "girlfriends" i hated them for how they affected me. I've never had a girlfriend to be honest im a virgin, i've never liked girls the way i like him..love him. I was the head of a corporation at 18, i had more money then this boy knew existed, yet he had power over me.

I hated him for it, I love him, and I hate him for it... I hate looking at him and getting all tingly and shit I wanted to take control, I want to tell him how i feel so i could at least have him hate me back but... i wasn't ready... FUCK .. i want him i want him to fuck me i need him to...just looking at this whiny saiyan i wanted to destroy him i wanted to make him bleed in ecstasy, agony any emotion our mind could convey. I loved him so much i wanted to destroy him.. god his so beautiful.."Trunks?" I want to destroy both of us pull him to the gutter the edge of insanity, i wanted him to beg for me to fuck him to bring him down further.."you there buddy? earth to trunks. wake the fuck up!" "WHAT??" i growled viciously "jesus man relax, how was your weekend man havent seen you since last week?" The only reason people ask how your weekend was, is so they can tell you about their own."It was fine i guess." FUCK im tired of this i do not want to tell him im scared, Don't do what you want. Do what you don't want. Do what you're trained not to want. Do the things that scare you the most. What I need to do is fuck up so bad I can't save myself.

He was sitting there on the grass beside me his hair blowing around his bangs all over his face telling me about some whore he was gonna ask out i think her name was.. fuck it i don't care what her name is i was done hiding for once i interupted him "Goten please shut the fuck up I do not care about the little sluts you run around with!", "where the fuck did that come from?", i sighed inward it was time im about to fuck my life do what im scared of the most."ggohten?"

"yeah what?", "I I I ah um I have to tell you uh something uh something really important i already know your gonna hate me bbbut.,","i don't hate you trunks" he said assuringly "Imm uh, im gay goten", gotens jaw drops The one you love and the one who loves you are never, ever the same person. "uhhh are you sure?"

"No i just fucking came out of the fucking closet to my best friend and im not sure of course im fucking sure!", "how long have you been ah ya know?" "gay? for as long as i can remember goten",i looked at him tears streaming down my my heart shattering "trunks im your best friend it dosen't matter to me if your gay or straight i love you pal we'll always be friends" i smiled still crying "besides this explains why you didn't like any of the girls i set you up with" he smiled i couldn't help laugh i didn't want this moment to end i sat up and began to tell him the whole truth, i doubt youll want to be my friend after this goten "Goten i have to tell you something else I...

*flashback*

10 years ago

"mama?", "yes sweetie?" bulma replied lighting another marlboro red "what is it son?" she asked frightened to see the sad look on her sons face "what is a queer?", bulma looked terrified "where did you here that?" "tell me!", horrified at the comment and enraged "the boys at the park were yelling it at me"

why would someone say that to her precious angel "why did they say that to you?", "well gave that boy jimmy a kiss when we were playing a make believe game i was his wife and when we were in the middle of playing these boys just started hitting me and yelling that word." her heart sunk my son is gay great! i have this and that whiney prince to deal with agggh!!! I don't hate gays i do have gay friends theres that guy that does my hair i guess?

Why does it have to be me why can't i have a normal life FUCKKKKK!!!! he was crying i cried to "I said it's ok don't worry dear queer means that your a boy who likes boys the way daddy likes me well maybe not like that, um the way gotens daddy likes gotens mommy" he said "oh ok so am I queer?" at that point guess who walks in.. yes the prince of all saiyans strolled in to here his son ask me if he was queer how can my life get any worse i lit another cigarette. "WHAT!!!" vegeta said with the hate in his eye i haven't seen since we were on namek, "trunks tell me what happened who said you were you know.." "queer" trunks added smiling what an innocent boy "WHATEVER just tell me what happened?" he told the story of how the boys called him that when he kissed that boy he pretend married vegeta's face sank "WHAT!?!?!?" he screamed "calm down vegeta your only making things worse" thinking back i had problems when i was his age two I lost my virginity through my ear. "DAMMIT woman i will not calm down i am the prince of all saiyans and i will not have some fairy princess faggot for a son!" "what is a fakkot" trunks asked innocently "YOU ARE A faggot jesus fucking christ!!!" "don't talk to my son that way gay, straight or whatever hes still our son 'geta!"

Defeated he sits down finally calming the pure fire in his saiyan heart "son do you like... do you want to be with boys or girls?" "be with?" "yes i meen when you grow up do you want to marry a man or a woman?" "a man duhh papa" "what do you meen duh?" "well yeah girls marry men right i am gonna marry a man" ughh great i have to deal with with a sexually confused, AND gender confused kid god i need another cigarette.....

*END FLASHBACK*

"I love you goten i always have i know you must hate me but i had to tell you i can't hide it any more im IN love with you!" goten was SHOCKED to say the least he looked like he had just seen a ghost his face was pale "i don't know what to say trunks?", "just say you love me or you hate me" "I don't hate you but i don't love you not like that anyway im sorry trunks but I don't want to sound mean but uh i'm not interested in you that way at all not even a little bit i'm sorry i meen your a guy and im a guy i know you like that stuff its just um im not into that", I felt like he ripped my heart out and was trying to be nice about it I was pleading with him i was pathetic crying "Ill be a girl if you want we dont have to be gay make me into anything, but just love me" he was smiling but it was so empty he's lost respect for me you can only hold a smile for so long, after that it's just teeth, he says something finally "I'm so sorry I think you should go", i was hiding my tears i say "Your birth is a mistake you'll spend your whole life trying to correct." and i left bawling my eyes out not knowing what to do i'm not going home that life is over for me im not trunks anymore....