Disclaimer: Hey everyone...mquest here...this is just a short note to explain the Sound of X-Files story. This little ditty started off as a joke that two of my friends wrote, teasing me about two of my greatest loves: The Sound of Music and The X-Files.

The Sound of X-Files is a parody and NOT meant to be taken seriously...not at all. It does contain some graphic scenes...again all meant for fun. If that's not your sort of thing then you might want to stay away. However, if you have a great sense of humor and enjoy a little tongue in cheek fun (no pun intended) then read away.

This will start off as a Teen rating. Around chapter four (By the way, Dr. Fox thinks it starts "mature" at chapter three. However...my dear Dr. Fox, your scene is G rated compared to what I added in chapter five... You do know what they say about payback, don't you?) Anyhow...officially we will change the rating to Mature for chapter Five. Any chapters before that, it's reader beware.

Chapter 1

A Volkswagen van screeched to a halt in front of building 1419 and three men scrambled out, running for the door of Apartment 35. None of the three seemed to care that they were double parked and blocking several vehicles. The man with the long blonde hair and glasses reached the door first and began knocking on the door. He was soon pushed aside by a short, stocky man who arrived at the door, chest heaving from his hard breathing caused by running. Then a bearded man in a dark suit skidded to a stop at the door, sliding in his dress shoes, and who also began jostling for space at the door. These three, known as the Lone Gunmen, were frantic.

Receiving no immediate answer to Langly's initial knocking, each of The Lone Gunmen pounded harder on Scully's apartment door, not caring in the least that they were bothering her neighbors.

"Scully! Scully! Open up! Hurry!"

Hearing the thuds on her front door, Scully sprang from her bathtub and pulled on her chenille bathrobe. She paused in her bedroom to pick up her FBI issued weapon, a SIG-Sauer P-228. Then, she cinched the belt of her robe tightly around her slim waist and hurried to the entryway, her bosom heaving as panic set in from the sound of distraught voices on the other side of the door. Raising the gun, she looked out the peephole and spotted Frohike, Langly, and Byers standing anxiously, faces distorted in fishbowl lense of the peephole.

Throwing open the white front door, Scully looked at the three men, her cerulean blue eyes showing her distress. "What? What is it?" She glanced quickly around the area outside of her door and saw no one else in the hallway. "Is something wrong with Mulder?" she asked.

She moved aside as Frohike walked in, followed by Byers and Langly. Once she lowered her gun to point at the floor, Frohike gave Scully a hug and looked at her with his big eyes. "Scully," he said. "Remember when Mulder went to find the ship in the Bermuda Triangle and did the whole Wizard of Oz thing?"

"Yes," said Scully hesitantly.

"Well, chickee...you won't believe it, but this time Mulder traveled to Austria to investigate a Bigfoot sighting in the Waldviertel region. He texted us to tell us that he discovered something that looked suspicious, and we haven't heard anything more from him."

"That's because he didn't take the secure phone we offered him," muttered Langly.

"Bigfoot? I thought he went for Oktoberfest and the beer gardens!" exclaimed Scully.

Byers looked at her as if she should have known better, then continued, "We know that the Waldviertel region is where the darker fairy tales became prominent, and mysterious happenings are consistently reported. Strange lights, abduction..."

Scully rolled her eyes and put a hand on her hip, inadvertently causing her robe to gape and exposing a generous amount of cleavage. "What do fairy tales have to do with his trip to the Bermuda Triangle?"

The Gunmen looked at the gaping robe, then at each other. Finally, Langley answered, "The same types of readings that we got when he did his little time travel trip are what we get from his cell phone when we try to locate him now."

Scully dropped down on her white and gray striped sofa, shocked. Seeming to notice that she still held her gun, she placed it carefully on the side table. "You think he went back in time? I'm not sure he even went back in time in the first place, and you want me to believe he did it a second time?"

Frohike stepped toward Scully, then placed his hands on each of her shoulders and gave her a gentle shake to add emphasis to his words. "Scully, not only do we expect you to believe it, we need you to get your passport and buy us all tickets to Austria. We're kind of broke."

Two days later, after a ten hour flight and a lengthy car ride in the tiniest rental car Scully had ever seen, the group checked into an equally tiny hotel. While the scenery was breathtaking, the road had been full of corkscrew twists and turns. Consequently, Scully's first night in Austria was spent feeling vaguely nauseous from the trip.

After a restless night of sleep, Scully rose and dressed in hiking gear, then joined her companions at the front of the hotel. The men looked as tired as she felt and she dreaded the lengthy hike through the mountains. After breakfast, they hopped back in the car and drove as far as they could on the winding road, then hiked for hours to reach the point that The Lone Gunmen deemed as the perfect location to hunt for Mulder. This took them at long last to the old-growth forest of Waldviertel.

Pushing back her red hair, she removed her backpack and zipped up her blue windbreaker. She took out a bottle of water and drank thirstily. Then, looking at her surroundings, she stared at the trees and tried not to think about treemen with glowing red eyes. Her companions, The Lone Gunmen, were busily examining the area. Frohike held a scanner in his hands and was slowly turning in a circle.

"Well?" sneered Langly. "You going to yell out 'Don't Cross the Beams' anytime soon?"

"You're just jealous because I created this scanner," growled Frohike.

"I'm just happy that I didn't get the body search at the airport," said Langly.

Byers intervened as peacemaker. "Langly, he is scanning for the same signature readings that we saw in DC."

"No shit, Sherlock, what else would he be doing? I think we'll have better luck using my cell phone tracker to find Mulder," Langly replied.

Just then, Scully knelt beside a tree and began scraping at the ground. The Lone Gunmen watched curiously as she worked something shining out of the dirt. Standing, she wiped her fingers on her jeans and brushed off dead leaves and grit from the object. Examining it closely, she then held up the object for the men to see.

"What do you think this is?" she called. "It has a some kind of lever right here," and she pushed it.

Just then, all four grabbed their ears with both hands and dropped to the ground. Within seconds, they were unconscious.