This little scene was written to take place right before the series 5 episode "The Lodger."
I wrote this in the time frame of 2am to 6am, so just keep that in mind.
(Which means my already bad grammar and spelling might be magnified by some good amount). *Attempts to prove that fan fiction isn't just for Anime Nerds*
The Doctor's Birthday
By Dustin John Martin
"Where has Pond run off to now?" This was a question the Doctor often had to ask himself. "I tell her that she can pick one place to go and out of all of space and time throughout the entire fabric of reality to choose from, she picks to go to a shopping mall!" He ranted to himself as he whizzed around the TARDIS control room turning knobs and pulling levers to get ready for a swift departure. He paused, "I could leave her… No, no I couldn't," he resumed. "Well," He swiveled the scanner towards himself. "Only about three years from where she's suppose to be, granted we are in a different country… No, no, no I have to keep her."
After seven hundreds year of possessing a Time machine one begins to lose the concept of waiting, which adds to the bore of the whole sit-in-the-TARDIS-while-you-wait-for-the-girl-to-shop thing. Eventually Amy came back, she always does. She used her key and came in through the doors her arms full of different colored bags stacked up to her neck. "Hello, Doctor!" He glared back from behind the consul, "And where have you been, Pond?"
She dropped her bags on the TARDIS floor and opened her arms towards then in presentation, "Duh… And besides you're the one who didn't want to go shopping with me in the first place! So don't complain to me about being bored and having to wait."
"It's not that I didn't want to go shopping with you, I just needed to… uh…" He struggled to think of a good excuse. "Someone had to stay behind and watch the TARDIS!"
"That's never been an issue before!" This was a rare moment in which Amy was not going to fooled by the Doctor.
"We could go see the hanging gardens of Babylon; We could visit Michelangelo as he painted the Sistine Chapel; You're Scottish, we could've seen William Wallace invade England if you really wanted to. But no, Amelia Pond wanted to go to a shopping mall!" The Doctor proclaimed. He approached her from out from behind the TARDIS consul and put back on his tweed jacket he had previous had hanging on a railing. He was noticeably flustered by the way he struggled putting it on. "You are such a girl."
"Well, last I checked I am a girl," Amy reaffirmed.
"A fact you aren't quick to let me forget," the Doctor muttered to himself.
"Besides if I wanted to see a bunch of men in skirts running around I'd have you bring me to San Francisco," The Doctor was mildly offended at that joke. In his previous incarnation he had been known to wear a kilt in his private time for comfort purposes. "Besides, Doctor, my intentions weren't entirely selfish," She bent down to her many bags and pulled out a brown paper bag which she then handed to the Doctor.
"What's this?" He asked.
"Merry Christmas, Doctor!" Amy cheered. The Doctor was confused and even swiveled the TARDIS scanner around to check.
"It's not Christmas, Pond," The Doctor protested.
"Come on, in a little blue box that can travel in all of space and time, it can be Christmas anytime we want it to be, can't it?" Amy tried sounding like a wisenheimer but then was legitimately baffled by her own question.
"No, it doesn't exactly entirely technically work that they," he explain.
"Happy Birthday, then!" Amy then cheered trying to save face. "Early Birthday... or late birthday" She was again baffled what she said herself. "Doctor, when is your Birthday, anyway?"
"Ah…" His past companions never before really inquired the Doctor on the matter of his birth. "Actually, Pond, I don't have a birthday."
"What a load of rubbish Doctor, you must've been born at some point in time," Amy said. He replied with just a look. "Oh my god, you really don't have a birthday?"
"Well, you were right; I was born at some point in time. I mean, clearly," He picked up her hand with his and had it slap him in the face gently, "I'm right here. But the process in which a Time-Lord is born, doesn't contribute to us having a specific day of birth."
"Ah, I see… kinda," Amy tried to understand.
"It's a long, complicated process… a lot of Wibbly-Wobbly-Timey-Wimmey… stuff," The Doctor tried clarifying with not entirely that much success as per his usual attempt at clarifying anything.
Amy snapped out of confusion, "Either way, just open your present!" The Doctor was enthusiastic to see what she had gotten him. After nine hundred years of existence the Doctor has done for many good deeds for certain individuals and some of them have felt the need to compensate for such acts, so it is not for nothing to say he's received many of his fair share of gifts. After Napoleon, in person, offers as a present the actual Rosetta Stone, other gifts tend to lose their surprise and radiance. All the while, the Doctor still appreciates the thought and heart behind each gift he receives which is always enough to excite him. He reached into the brown paper bag and pulled out a small black cardboard box.
"Oh thank you, Amy… You got me a box. I've always wanted a box. I idolize them having lived in one for hundreds of years," He smiled towards her.
"You have to open, wise guy," Amy returned the smile. The Doctor took of the top of the box and chucked it without care across the TARDIS. He pulled out the content of the box and his smiled vanished.
"And what is this suppose to be!" He demanded.
"You can consider it a hint," A Necktie. Amy had bought The Doctor necktie.
"Look, Pond, I appreciate the thought, but…"
"No, 'buts'!" Amy petitioned, "Now you don't have an excuse to keep wearing that stup…"
"There is one thing you need to keep clear in your mind, Pond" The Doctor interrupted, "bow ties are most definitely, positively, and without a doubt cool," The Doctor had a feeling no matter how often he tried to explain this Amy wouldn't understand. "It's an image thing, and what I do is all about the looks really and I have to look cool or I'm just bloody well useless!" He continued to examine the tie with almost a look of disgust.
Amy tried to bargain, "It was designed by Jerry Garcia. He's cool, isn't he?"
"You clearly, didn't know him in high school," The Doctor quipped.
"Well, at least I tried," Amy snatched the tie from the Doctor's loose grip on it.
"Hey, I thought that was mine," the Doctor argued.
"Well if you aren't going to wear it, I will. I'll get some use out of it," She proceeded to put the tie in one of her other bags.
"Why don't you just give it to Rory, then?" The Doctor suggested. Amy stopped dead in her tracks.
"Who?" she asked. 'Whoops,' was the Doctors first thought. It's so easy to forget that someone has been wiped completely from the fabric of reality.
"Oh yes, uh… old friend of mine, forget I mentioned him," The Doctor tried to nonchalantly go about his way around the TARDIS but he had notice a tear beginning to form in Amy's eye. She's going cry and she won't even know why. The Doctor had better quick distract her from this.
"Ok, and off we go now, shall we!" He jeered. Amy snapped out of her confused, sad state caused by the mention of someone of whom she doesn't know existed and asked the Doctor "So, where are we going this time?" The Doctor danced around the TARDIS consul.
"Let's see, where could we go? Well, this is a space and time machine so pretty much everywhere and everything and anytime could be a sufficient answer. Such a vague question really, when there is literally no where we can NOT go. Well we can't go into a center of a volcano, Well I mean we could, but we'd have to stay in the TARDIS and hope she's sealed off completely because that's a leak not worth dreaming about. The plumbing burst 73 years ago and if I thought a little bit of water was a mess, I have another thing coming," The Doctor rambled.
"The TARDIS has plumbing?" Amy asked, seemingly being the only thing she took from that ramble.
"Yes, installed by Sir Thomas himself! Let's go then!"
"Where?"
"Middle of a volcano!" The Doctor got even more excited twisting his levers and buttons.
"I guessed that's an appropriate place for a fiery-red head like myself," Amy said hiding her concern, topped off with a nervous laugh.
" Alright! So then, to Cinda Calista… Not Cinda Calista itself though. Too bloody cold, couldn't live there unless you were a fish. Friendly fish they are, though. No, we are going to its fifth moon. Lots of plate movement around the year 5 million, Volcano activity, galore! Get ready, and hold on. It's going to get hot in here!"
Amy braced herself against the consul in preparation as she would for any journey as she has learned to do so from experience. "GERONIMO!" The Doctor pulled the final lever and the TARDIS took off faster than light and sound across the universe all the way towards the fifth moon of Cinda Calista… or so they had hoped…