Chapter one: Domestic disturbance

-"Please Clara, can we keep it?"

-"No."

-"But I let you keep Cuddles!"-Doctor was begging now.

-"Who is Cuddles?"

-"That one strand of your hair that, frankly keeps misbehaving."-he pointed angrily at it.

-"You named my hair?"- Clara was beyond stunned.

-"Only that bit."-he responds with a smile and a raise of his eyebrows; hoping of a change of heart.

-"Still no."

Doctor was already preparing to protest and plead his strong case; it was water proof-shut up!; when he suddenly realized it was in fact his TARDIS in the first place. And he's a grown man, almost, so he will do as he pleases. So he rushed past Clara and her angrily crossed arms and straight into the TARDIS.

-"Doctor?"-Clara finally caught him inside the main console room.

-"Yes Cuddles?"

-"Please don't call me that…"

-"Yes Ma'am."

-"Or that."

-"Then what should I call you?"

-"Clara, seeing that's my name!"-she says looking at the rebel Time Lord who was now petting his new best friend. To call it a strange bird would be offensive to birds frankly; and the adjective if we're being honest.

-"I shall call him Sniffles."

-"You're not keeping it."

-"My TARDIS, my rules."-Doctor's voice dropped an octave.

-"Oh, so you want to play it like that?"-Clara said, but Doctor did not respond. He was far too busy trying to put out a fire the little creature made on the buttons of his bellowed machine; and was now happily playing in.

-"Doctor!"-Clara yelled from inside her bedroom.

-"Yes?"-he materialized moments later and poked his head through the door. No, I don't come every time you summon me, that would be ridiculous.

-"If you could be bothered to remove your "pet" from my dresser that would be lovely."-she says calmly.

-"Is he bothering you?"-Doctor asked entering her bedroom while casually looking around and swaying his long body in every direction really, except towards the intended path to his "pet".

-"Yes, he keeps staring and screeching at me. It's freaking me out…"-Clara said lifting her covers a bit as to show the deep emotional despair she was in due to the bird's angry looks.

-"I was talking to Sniffles."

-(…)

-"Come here you…"- Doctor took the unperplexed creature into his hands. The "bird" was still however defiantly ogling Clara as if saying: Oh you think you'll get rid of me that easy?

-"I know…she is…"-Doctor whispered.

-"What are you doing Doctor?"

-"Nothing..?"-he offered.

-"Are you two talking about me?"-Clara started to get out of bed and was now slowly approaching the two offenders.

-"Why would you think that?"-Doctor took a step back towards the door; preparing his escape strategy. Always have an escape plan-his brain was rather strict on that.

The bird also sensed a treat in Clara's voice and despite the opponent's small and feeble body and a ridiculous dress she was wearing, and the bird's ability to set fire to anything really; it decided to retreat to a place of safety-into the Time Lord's curled hair.

- "Now that's just silly.'-Clara decided stopping a few feet from them and rolling her eyes.

-"Sniffles seems OK with it…"-Doctor responded listening intently to the soft humming the "bird" was now making while nesting on his head.

-"Stop calling it that, and get rid of it."

-"No."

-"Do as you're told."- She said. That always works on him, she recalls. Yeah, always. No we are not bickering like an old married couple, what do you mean?

-"No!"-he repeats while suddenly disappearing through the door and into the safety of his precious ship's corridors.

-"The bird is a menace!"-Clara yelled at the Time Lord who was busy fixing a burnt dial on his console. Not that it was his fault by any chance.

-"…if it's a bird anyway…"- she continued. –"It set my best pair of socks on fire! And then it just snorted at me!"-Clara was feeling less than pleased.

Doctor simply continued fiddling with the melted dial with his non-sonic screwdriver. It was bound to fail-he thought.

-"Did you hear what I just said?"

-"Clara, the entire TARDIS ecosystem heard what you just said."-he answered casually. -"With the amount of volume you are currently using, I'd say you were upset, but I could be wrong?"-he asked raising both his left eyebrow and his non-sonic screwdriver in Clara's general direction.

Ignoring his sarcastic comment, she continued in a much calmer voice like any wife should, when attempting to get something done by her husband. Did I say wife? I meant companion.

-"It's looking at me funny. Tell it to stop."

-"How can I tell it to stop Clara? It's a bird."

-"Tell it to stop Doctor, or you'll sleep on the couch tonight."

-"TARDIS doesn't have a couch. I sleep in my armchair when we're not…"-but Clara interrupted him:

-"Then I'll make one, and then force you to sleep on it!"

-"Fine. Don't get so touchy Clara, it's just a bird..."- he says finally yielding.

Doctor was sifting through the pages of an old, leader-bound book in his console mini-library. "Bird" still safely tucked in his hair. They were enjoying this moment of privacy, seeing that Clara finally got tired of trying to force the Doctor to get rid of the "bird"; and went to sulk in her bedroom. Game point-the Doctor.

-"No…I mean yes."- Doctor said casually brushing the book's center line with his finger (guess which one). –"Well once, maybe twice or…But I was drunk and she was something to do with hormones. Well not drunk, something else…"-He stopped abruptly remembering the scene.

/soft humming in his ear/

-"No, I won't tell you the details."

/not-so soft humming in his ear/

-"Please don't threaten to set my hair on fire…"

/moments later/

-"Sniffles, No! Bad bird!"-Doctor yelled running through the TARDIS; smoke trail in his wake.

-"Women!"- Doctor was beyond angry.-"I can't believe you did that Clara…"-he said punching coordinates angrily into the console.

-"You gave me no choice."-Clara responded calmly, watching him huff and puff his way into submission. TARDIS hummed soundly in agreement with her.

-"Oh shut up you."-Doctor lashed out.

/Angry TARDIS noises/

-"Fine! I'm doing it!"- he said pushing the leaver.

-"Don't be grumpy, it doesn't suit you."-Clara said smiling.

-"I'm not grumpy, I'm cross."

-"It was your choice."

-"You made me choose. You and "her"."-he said pointing at the console.

-"And you chose well."

-"I chose what you wanted me to choose."

-"Exactly…Look, I'll get you a stuffed one, how's that?"

-"I'm not a child Clara."- Doctor said opening the door and letting the Sun burst through it to reveal a whole new world outside.

To be continued...