Good evening and welcome to a private showing of the paintings shown here for the very first time. Each unique in its own way, not because of any artistic value, but because each captures on canvas, suspended in time and space, a frozen moment of a nightmare. For this is the Night Gallery.
Our story tonight is based on this unique picture. The picture shows one devil's assistant, one heaven's assistant both with a befuddled look and one woman with a wide-eyed look and vacant expression. And our little tale is called: Devil in the details. This story is rated K+.
The Imp walked slowly to the door. He was reluctant to ring the bell, the being on the other side has never been noted for having a good temper, but there was nothing for it.
He pressed the button, the sound of the bell echoed for miles. BONG, BONG, BONG, it rang. Slowly the great doors opened, mists of sulphur, and flashes of fire rose up. Then a deep threatening voice called from the mist.
"Oh what is it now, Edger?" The voice asked. "I have at least three new wars to plan for those fools upstairs, and I asked not to be disturbed."
"Apologies, my Lord." Edger the Imp said. "But there is a problem in Reception."
Several minutes passed before a long drawn out sigh echoed though the great office. Max the Terrible, the Devil's adjutant, walked out of the mist. Of all the underlings of the Devil, Max was the most feared. He stood 5 inches over 7 feet tall, long black hair fell to his shoulders, always dressed in black, a demon to be feared.
"Well!" he snapped. "Are you going to tell me the problem is, or perhaps you need a trip to level 9 for a few hundred years to sharpen your senses?"
Edger started to shake and stammered out a reply. "Well, my Lord. You recall the woman that came down during the last shift?"
Max's right eye started the nervous twitch that he gets when something or someone truly gets on his nerves. He spoke with the woman for less then half of an hour and was totally stunned by the woman's mental imbalance. He had never encountered such a creature for the many centuries of his life.
"Yes, we sent her upstairs." Max replied. "They have the patience to deal with her mindless babble." Giving the unfortunate Edger a glare. "Why?"
"Well my Lord, we sent her up at 0335 hours." Edger told him. "And by 0345, they sent her back down."
"WHAT!" Max bellowed. "On whose authority from up there?"
"Well sir." Edger whimpered wanting to run away. "What I was told, that is to say what they said, it was..."
"WHO?"
"Himself." Edger answered flatly.
Max was flabbergasted. He paced back and forth in the great office. After a moment, he glares at the imp.
"Do you mean to tell me, that this woman was turned down by him?" He asked.
Edgar looked at his boss with sympathy. "Yes Sir." He replied. "She was rejected by him."
"I can't even remember the last time someone was rejected by him, personally." Max said.
Any further conversation was put on hold because the red phone on Max's desk began to ring.
"Oh hell!" Max exclaimed as he walked over to the desk. He hesitated for a brief moment, and then picked up the phone. "Yes Sir." He said. "I am aware of the situation. Yes Sir, I am aware it is an unusual situation, but maybe there is something that we can..."
A loud clap of thunder sounded through the halls. A crestfallen Max quietly spoken to the phone. "Yes Sir, we will arrange it." A loud click on the other end of the line ended the conversation.
Edgar looked to his boss; "Well, Sir."
"We send her back." Max replied.
Edgar looked confused and chose his next words carefully. But how can we, Sir? She was denied admission by him.
Glaring at the imp. "Edgar." Max said patiently. "In case you didn't notice, that was our version of him on the phone, and he said to send her back. Now, would you like to be the one to go down to level 10 and tell him we can't?"
Turning pale Edgar replied. "No, Sir, I would not like to do that!"
"Then we are not going to tell him that." Max said. "For now, we need to be rid of this, this creature." Max looked toward the ceiling. "Who's on duty for them. "Gesturing towards the ceiling.
Edgar looked to his clipboard. : Nicholas is on duty, my Lord." He replied.
Max nodded grimly, he and Nicholas had known each other for many millennium. If anyone could help solve this problem, it was him. "Very well." Max said. "Call up there, and asked Nicholas to meet me at Middle Ground, in about 20 minutes."
"Very good my lord." Edgar replied. Gesturing over his shoulder toward the reception area. "And what do we do with her, my Lord?"
Max glowered for the reception area, his right eye twitching. "Keep her on ice until I call her."
Cringing slightly, Edgar bowed to his master. "Yes Sir." And reluctantly turned towards the reception area is Max turned towards the elevators and the Middle Ground.
The area known as Middle Ground to the officialdom of Heaven and Hades is better known to mankind as Purgatory. It is a rather bland area of white mist, gray light, and not much else. The only true features of the location are three elevators. One elevator goes to heaven, the second elevator leads to Hades. The third elevator in the middle leads back to Earth. Max paced back and forth impatiently he wanted this mess to be over with, after all he had three wars to plan. Any other thoughts Max had were interrupted as the doors from Heaven's elevator opened and Nicholas stepped out. While Max was clad in black, Nicholas was clad in white with golden hair. He raised his hand in greetings to Max as he walked over to him.
"Well Max, it's been a long time." Nicholas said. "You look well.'
"As do you Nicholas." Max answered. Giving to the matter in hand. "Why was this woman rejected?" Max asked him. "I always thought Heaven was opened to everyone."
Nicholas grimaced. "Normally I would agree but have you really spoken to this woman? In all my years I've never heard such nonsense come out of a being." Nicholas started to pace; "Neither have anyone else. I swear by him this woman drove everyone to near madness. St. Peter himself spoke with her and after he spoke to her, he literally put his fist through the Golden Gates."
On any other occasion Max would find that hilarious, but not this time. "I can't see how this can be solved." Max said.
Nicholas grimaced," Well your boss and mine don't want her and like it or not we are now on the critical time frame."
Max's right eye twitching uncontrollably at this point. Then let's get this creature up here." He sputtered, and reached for his communicator, and started to speak; "Edgar" he said quietly. When there is no instant response Max bellowed into the communicator." EDGER!" A brief microsecond later, Edgar's voice comes through meekly. "Yes, my Lord."
Get up here, and bring that creature with you." Max growled.
"At your command Sir." Edgar answered. After a few minutes the Hades elevator door opened, and Edgar and the woman stepped out. The woman herself was dressed in what was known as business attire. She was 5'5" tall, her age appeared to be late 40s early 50s in human terms. She was brunette whose hair was showing that some gray. Normally she would be considered quite attractive, until she opens her mouth. Which she now proceeded to do.
"Now see here gentlemen, this is quite unacceptable!" She began. "Do you have any idea who I am, what I have done, and my position in the very world?" The woman glared at the two with a wide-eyed blank look on her face, which for her is normal.
Nicholas stepped forward hands raised; "Now Madam." He began, but was interrupted by the woman.
"See here all I did was suggested to that man I spoke to a few my favorite changes that you people could do that would enhance the experience of people as they come up." Nicholas's eyes rolled towards Heaven as Max stepped up to the woman, his right eye has a life of its own as it was twitching and twitching.
"You should really change your tone." He warned her. But like Nicholas he was interrupted:
"So what is your problem?" She growled looking up at him hands on her hips. "All I did was suggest to your boss that when people come to you they should at least have to speak American. I was nearly the vice president of the United States of America I"ll have you know, and I can also see Russia from my house in Alaska. I stand for greatness and honor and I feel I should be treated better." As the latest rant began, she started waving her finger at the two archangels.
Being the one with the shorter temper, Max loses patience points his finger to the woman to freeze her in stasis. The two archangels and Edgar stare at the woman for a long few moments her mouth open wide her eyes opened wider a vacant stare.
"What in the piss hell do we do!" Max said almost in tears. "My boss does not want here anywhere near our domain."
"Yes we know." Nicholas replied. "We saw the half dozen volcanoes on the planet blew after his interview with the woman. But we to send her somewhere, and not to put a fine of a point on it we are in the critical time frame here. Her body will decay if we don't make a move." Both of the archangels paced back and forth over and around the woman. Edgar at this point cleared his throat. "Sirs." He said quietly." I believe I have a suggestion."
Max glared at his assistant. "Oh be quiet." He snapped, and then paused. "Well what?"
Edgar stepped forward with a hopeful look on his face. "Why not just send her back?"
Nicholas and Max looked to Edgar for a moment, then look to the woman then back to each other.
"Send her back?" Nicholas asked. "There's really not much precedent from that. Not to mention the fact that eventually we will have to deal with her again."
Max nodded to his old friend. "That's very true Nicholas, but it will solve our problem for now. Also from what I read of her file, she is a politician, and don't they have a custom down there especially in her particular nation what do they call it?"
"I believe they call it, kicking the can down the road." Edgar said helpfully.
It took Max and Nicholas about half a nano second to make their collective decision.
"Is that a problem for you?" Nicholas asked Max.
Max shook his head and stared from Nicholas to the woman and back to Nicholas again. "Nope, I can live with it."
For the first time since the episode began both archangels began to relax. They both walked to the woman. Max pointed his finger to the woman and released her from stasis.
"You should stop doing that!" The woman said in a petulant voice. "That can truly be annoying."
"Madam. I have good news for you." Max said quickly before she could respond. 'It is the consensus of opinion that you still have a mission to accomplish on Earth and we're going to send you back." The woman brightened up. "Really that is good to know. You know I do feel I could accomplish more, after all I was nearly vice president, and Gov. and I also had my own TV show. And furthermore I thought I could." Max and Nicholas both interrupted her and directed her to the center elevator back to Earth. "Well it was nice to meet all of you, and I'm sure will all meet again?" Nicholas and Max both had horrified expressions at that prospect. They quickly placed the woman into the middle elevator." I really feel that you could improve in both areas." She never finished the statement as Nicholas press the down button. "Have a nice trip." As the elevator rocketed back to earth. Several hours later Max, Nicholas, and Edgar were watching the giant screen in the waiting area as they watched a news broadcast from Earth
The newscaster looked to her camera with amazement. "Ladies and gentlemen, we are live from Portsmouth General Hospital, and what we have is a story that is nothing short of miraculous. She was pronounced dead her family removed the life support and then against all odds she sat up awake." The woman touched her phone. "We will go live to the room as she makes a statement." The camera's shift to the patient room, and there was the woman.
"I would like to thank everyone prayed for me and had good thoughts for me during this trying time. I can say with all honesty that I do know what Heaven and Hell both look like, and I do feel that could always be of improvement on some things. That being said I feel that I was sent back to accomplish more, and here's what I plan to do." As the woman went on to babbling Max clicked the remote off. "Well that settles that." Max said in relief. Nicholas nodded. "At least the problem is solved for now." He looked to Max. "Are you off the clock?"
Max grinned. "Close enough, let's get a drink." Both archangels walked off, Max looked back to Edgar. "You too, Edgar." For the first time in this very crazy day Edgar smiled and caught up with the two archangels.
"Well Sirs." Edgar said. "We really did them no favor."
"That's very true Edgar." Nicholas said. "But sometimes."
Max finished the thought. "Better them than us." The conversation continued as three stepped into the bar.
Fins.
The story of course was fiction. The characters of Max Nicholas and Edgar were of course fiction. The character of the woman is based on fiction as well.