Darling
He was sitting at the bar, feeling the scorch of another Firewhiskey down his throat when she started to sing. At first it was just background noise, pleasant enough certainly, but his head was too full of thoughts to turn around and enjoy. But then the voice began to sound familiar. Hauntingly so. Maybe he'd heard her on the radio? But the lyrics seemed new to him, and the sultry swing of her voice wasn't what tugged at his memories. He was determined to work it out, and yet a part of him feared turning around and not recognising her. Finding that, yet again, he was out on his own. He was so bloody lonely. Sometimes it just seemed like a vast dark void, destined to envelop him. It was suffocating. The Firewhiskey burned its way down again as he sought to rid himself of these unwanted but all too frequent thoughts.
He tried to tune in on her voice again, to block out the dark voices in his head. She was a talented singer, too good for a dump like this. The hush that had fallen over the room showed that even this alcohol-soaked crowd could tell they were listening to something special. The raw pain in her voice, the husky tone, it made him ache. And it made him remember how he'd come to be here, to be reduced to this.
And then that voice came back to him. He hadn't heard her sing before, but Merlin he knew that voice. He'd heard its soft, low tones when she'd whispered lovingly to him, he'd heard smiles in it, he'd heard how it broke when he made her cry. And that raw pain, he'd heard that too, when she'd yelled at him and walked out of his door for the final time. When he'd made her leave.
She was here.
Here.
He could turn around and see her, for the first time in a year. He was frozen, thinking of the damage he'd done, the hurt he couldn't undo. She finished that song. As she sang another his mind reeled, and not because of the alcohol.
Then he turned around.
Part of him had expected her to be broken, like he was. Part of him needed to think that she ached like he did. But despite the hurt in her voice, she was strong. She had grown as he had crumbled. She stood there, more gorgeous than ever, in a silky slip dress and with her hair elegantly styled. He was slumped on a bar stool, in a crumpled suit and with dark circles under his eyes. She held the attention of the room, and she knew it. He was just another sad nobody, drowning his sorrows.
Dazedly he joined in the applause at the end of her song. She smiled, and he remembered the smiles that had been for him. Smiles he had never appreciated. That affection that he had found so cloying was now what he wanted most. He had been her everything, and he had treated her like she meant nothing. How times had changed.
'There was a boy; once' her voice brought him back to the present 'I loved him so much. You know that feeling? When you love someone so much that it seems they are the only thing that matters?'
There were some shouts of agreement, and she smiled ruefully. 'Yeah it's pretty awful. Since then, I've realised I was wrong, and that really he doesn't matter. He was an asshole all along, he probably still is. This song is for him.'
The crowd cheered, but this time she didn't smile. She nodded to the piano player, and she seemed lost in her memories as the first notes of the song sounded out. He wondered if she'd notice him. He wondered if he even wanted her to. Her hands rose to the microphone and he wondered whether he should stay. But even now, even knowing how far he had fallen, he couldn't help but be a bit egotistical. What had she to say about him?
I used to love you so,
More than you will ever know,
The only thing colder than your eyes,
Is your heart, but now I'm wise.
He couldn't look away. Her presence was just that powerful, her gaze so intense and full of pain. Pain he had caused her, pain he now knew himself.
Once I worshipped you,
A love you knew and used,
You held me in the palm of your hand,
But you couldn't understand.
To you love was arithmancy,
A divination you just couldn't see,
You crushed my little heart,
Before yours could ever start.
He was caught up in her words, her version of events.
But now I know better,
And I pity the next girl when you get her,
She's welcome to your cruel gaze, your harsh kiss,
Because, Darling, you're the one I won't miss.
The way she purred Darling made his heart skip, bringing him back to those long lost days. She was on his lap, kissing his neck, whispering in his ear. She was begging for his attention. 'Darling' she would breathe, pressing herself against him, gazing up at him with those dark, devoted eyes. Eyes that were now full of contempt. He tuned back in for her final chorus, hearing the passion in her voice.
The sparing looks you threw my way,
To keep me hanging on another day,
But I've found another with love in his kiss,
And Darling, you're the one I won't miss.
He downed another Firewhiskey, ignoring the bartender's furrowed brow as his hands shook. She had undone him. Regret flowed through his veins. He sat with his head in his hands, not even looking up when he sensed someone sit down beside him. He just didn't care anymore. She'd been there back then. Even after all he'd done she tried to help him put his life back together, and he'd pushed her away. He had never seen her as a person, as someone who felt like he did, and now he knew what a mistake he'd made.
'Draco. Fancy seeing you here'.
He looked up. It was her. She was here, beside him, holding the delicate stem of a glass filled with Gillywater. He gazed at her with wide eyes, taking her in, the girl he'd lusted after and loathed, the girl he'd kissed and slept with, but never really seen.
'Hope you enjoyed my song.' Pansy smirked as he gaped at her, and drained the rest of her drink before winking at him and walking off.
How times had changed.