Disclaimer: I don't own My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, unfortunately. It belongs to Lauren Faust and Hasbro.
And again, the ponies are humans in this fanfic! Well, in this AU story, the earth ponies are supposed to be humans, the Pegasus ponies are supposed to be gods and goddesses, and the unicorns are supposed to be wizards and witches.
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Pinkie Pie sat on her bed, staring miserably at her wall. It wasn't fun, but she couldn't find the motivation to do anything else. Her abundant hot pink hair that she normally wore in bouncy curls was now hanging straight like curtains framing her cherubic face. In the final, pathetic attempt to be cheerful, Pinkie reached for a yellow crayon on her bedside table and raised it to the wall to draw a bright sunshine. Suddenly, her fingers started to shake, and the yellow crayon fell from her hand. The sunshine didn't have the power to undo her heartbreak, and neither did the other doodles she'd done on the wall in past times when she was sad.
Pinkie Pie was a resilient girl. She liked to spring around like Tigger, and again, her hair was usually in springy curls, but her elasticity went beyond that. She could bounce back from the seemingly darkest hurts and experiences, and somehow manage to smile and see the bright side. However, her most recent heartbreak didn't look like one that could ever be stitched.
"I'll never have a party again," the pale-skinned girl found herself saying aloud, though softly. The recent events in her life had left her seeing parties in a whole new light that she never wanted to see them in before. This changed her entire outlook on what she'd loved to do more than anything in the world for years. It wasn't until she heard herself say these words out loud that the emotionless expression on her face faded, and she burst out into tears. She sobbed loudly and hysterically – louder and more hysterical than even her laughter had ever sounded. Her bright blue eyes were flooded with an endless supply of tears. At the moment she was supposed to be serving cookies she'd helped baked with the Cake's at a kid's birthday party, but she refused to leave the house today. Pinkie Pie never wanted to bake again either. Baking, like partying, was something that Pinkie had loved to do, but what one loves can be taken from them so easily. She didn't want to waste any more time on something so impermanent.
Pinkie Pie was bawling so loudly that she didn't hear the quiet knock on the door, nor did she hear a sweet, gentle voice saying, "Um, Pinkie… can I come in, please?" After receiving no reply, the girl on the other side of the door tried again. "Pretty please? If you wouldn't mind…" Pinkie still didn't hear the girl's voice, so her visitor tried turning the doorknob. The door was locked. The other girl – Fluttershy – groaned in aggravation, and knocked on the door a little harder. "Pinkie Pie, will you please let me in?" she asked a little louder.
It still didn't work, so Fluttershy inhaled a deep breath, and demanded in perhaps the most assertive tone she'd ever used, "Pinkie Pie! Open this door right now, and let me in!"
Finally hearing her friend, Pinkie Pie stopped wailing, and waited with wide, shocked eyes. "Oh," Fluttershy's voice said with an embarrassed giggle. "If it's alright with you, of course."
"Um, I don't know!" Pinkie answered quickly. "I'm sorta busy at the moment." She climbed under her covers and crossed her fingers, hoping that Fluttershy would just give up and leave, so she could try to get some sleep. Sleep was the only thing that allowed her to escape her problems, unless they haunted her in her dreams. She was pretty sure that Fluttershy would give up, because Fluttershy was typically un-aggressive, and left people alone when they asked her to.
In the hallway, Fluttershy frowned in concern. "Pinkie Pie, I'm worried about you," she said, unyielding.
Pinkie Pie was horrified. Fluttershy didn't seem like she was going to leave this time. More determined to get rid of her, Pinkie scowled and shouted, "Why? Why would you worry about me? Shouldn't you be glad that I'm not annoying you and the others right now? Aren't you relieved that you're never gonna hear from stupid, crazy, creepy Pinkie Pie ever again?"
Fluttershy felt sick to her stomach after hearing these words. "Pinkie Pie, you're scaring me!"
"So what else is new?" Pinkie Pie snapped. "I think you should go now! You never want to bother anyone! Why should now be any different?" Pinkie felt a lump in her throat. She hated herself for talking this way to Fluttershy, of all people. Whenever Pinkie Pie was fierce in Fluttershy's presence, it was to protect Fluttershy. It was like one of the Ten Commandments for Pinkie Pie: Thou shalt not harm Fluttershy. Fluttershy was the most gentle, kindest person Pinkie Pie ever met, and also the very last person who should be receiving this attitude from her.
Fluttershy clenched her fists defiantly, and said as firmly as she possibly could, "I'm not here to 'bother' anyone! I'm here to look after my best friend the way she's always done for me. And if you don't open the door this very instant, I swear I'm going to…. Um…. I swear, I'm going to kick it down!" Pinkie Pie actually smiled after hearing this. It was the first time she'd smiled since that fateful day where her happiness had been taken away. The image of Fluttershy kicking down a door was adorable and hilarious at the same time, but when Pinkie Pie remembered why she shouldn't be smiling, her frown returned immediately. However, she didn't want to lose Fluttershy. She'd been planning on estranging herself from all her friends, but suddenly her plans changed. Now that she had the opportunity to push Fluttershy away for good, she didn't want to. Some very strong, stubborn part of her soul that was still somehow clinging to the old Pinkie wouldn't allow her to.
Pinkie Pie let out a troubled sigh, jumped out of bed, and ran over to the door. She unlocked it, opened it, and looked up into the oval-shaped face of her tall, beautiful friend Fluttershy. The willowy goddess with waist-length, pale pink hair looked Pinkie Pie over, and had a deeply sad expression on her sweet face. "Oh, Pinkie," she said, sounding like she was going to cry. Pinkie felt awful. She didn't want to ever be the one who made Fluttershy cry. "What's happened to you?" Fluttershy asked, her lips trembling. Her teardrop-shaped blue-green eyes looked increasingly watery, like she was definitely going to cry. Pinkie tried really hard to smile, to comfort Fluttershy.
"Don't worry about me," she said, sounding for the first time in a while, almost like her old self. In that split second that Pinkie Pie almost resembled the old Pinkie, Fluttershy became more determined than even before to bring her back. She took Pinkie's hand in hers, and brought her over to a couch by the wall where they could sit and talk. Seeing this kind of determination in Fluttershy surprised Pinkie Pie, and made her wonder if she'd underestimated her friend from the beginning. Fluttershy was perfectly capable of getting what she wanted when she really wanted something.
"Why are you so sad, Pinkie?" Fluttershy asked in a sweet, caring voice, and the thought of telling someone why she was sad caused Pinkie to suddenly burst into tears all over again, as if she was reliving the nightmare. Saying what happened out loud made it even more real than thinking about it did. Pinkie felt embarrassed sobbing so hysterically in the presence of her friend, but being the sweetie Fluttershy is, Fluttershy wrapped her arms around her friend and hugged her close, stroking Pinkie's straight, hot pink hair. "There, there," Fluttershy said in a gentle, motherly voice. "You don't have to tell me what happened if you don't want to. I've been in your place before, Pinkie. There have been times when I didn't know if I would ever stop crying."
After hearing these words, Pinkie felt a powerful sense of security. Though she thought that she was humiliating herself by crying this strangely in front of her friend, it turned out that her friend understood completely and wasn't judging. And for the first time since the horrible thing happened to Pinkie, she felt lucky. But she was lucky because she had a friend like Fluttershy. Not every girl in Equestria could say that they were friends with Fluttershy. The loud bawling slowly became quieter and stopped, leaving Pinkie sniffling. She looked at Fluttershy through her wet eyes, and declared, "I'm never going to throw a party again."
Fluttershy shook her head desperately, and said "But Pinkie, you love –"
"Not anymore," Pinkie interrupted. "I don't think I'm ever going to be truly happy again either."
Fluttershy sighed sadly, looked like she was going to cry again, and lowered her gaze to her hands that were now folded together on her lap.
"That makes me really sad," she sniffed, making Pinkie feel like a monster again for making her cry. "You and the others know that, if I had it my way, I would be with the animals all the time," Fluttershy began. "I've always had difficulty fitting in, especially with the other gods and goddesses in Cloudsdale. It wasn't until Twilight moved here that I realized I could be friends with other people. Twilight, you, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity all bring out a side of me that I hadn't realized was in me. I'd never really been fun or happy, but you became my happiness. And though it was always impossible for me to match your level of energy and enthusiasm, I didn't mind because I loved seeing you being so energetic and enthusiastic. It made me feel happy. You make us all happy: me, Twilight, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Spike… everyone who's ever met you. You make everyone smile. We need you. Laughter is one of the Elements of Harmony, and without it, we only have five. If you aren't happy, it's like someone has removed the joy from all of our lives. You are so much more important than whatever it is that's making you upset. You don't deserve to feel so awful. You never did anything to deserve this sadness. There are other people who deserve it a lot more than you do. Your friends are going to help you get through this, because you can overcome anything. If it takes a while for you to find your happiness again from within, then I'll try really hard to become your happiness. I've endured depression long enough to know that you can survive it, but I don't want that to be your fate. You're going to be happy again soon. You might be unhappy now, but you're not alone."
Pinkie sniffed, and weakly said, "I appreciate everything you're doing for me, Fluttershy. But I don't think this heartbreak is ever going to heal."
"Some of mine never have," Fluttershy admitted. "But you're different. You've always been different from me. Time will take away the pain. I think you need to be with all of your friends, because spending time together is the first thing that's going to make you feel better. Being with your friends is what you love more than anything in the world, Pinkie."
"Maybe tomorrow," Pinkie sighed. "Today I might just want to be alone, and think."
"Okay, I understand," Fluttershy assured her, giving her a hug before standing up and heading over to the door. She smiled sweetly at her before leaving and closing the door. Pinkie Pie sat there and thought for the next several minutes. She thought about the things she loved to do most, which were spending time with her friends, partying, baking, putting smiles on people's faces, and singing. She wasn't ready to party or bake again yet, but maybe singing would help her get there. Singing allowed Pinkie to pour her heart out, and maybe she needed to pour it out in order to rid it of what was keeping it broken.
"It's true some days are dark and lonely. And maybe you feel sad, but Pinkie will be there to show you that it isn't that bad. There's one thing that makes me happy and makes my whole life worthwhile. And that's when I talk to my friends, and get them to smile."
Pinkie's sad voice cracked as she sang, but she was still trying.
She was a little amazed with herself. She had been certain that this heartbreak would keep her down, but Pinkie was already starting to fight against it after hardly any time had passed. She was different from Fluttershy, whose personality was shaped by her pain. Pinkie Pie, on the other hand, tended to rise above her pain and overcome even the harshest of inflictions. This recent horror in her life probably would leave a scar on her heart that would remain forever, but it wasn't going to kill Pinkie Pie. If anything, she was going to become stronger. All she needed was a little help from her friends, because they were always there for her when she needed them. Tomorrow she would spend time with them, and maybe it would make her feel like herself again. Already having decided that enough was enough, Pinkie Pie reached over for her curling iron that was on her desk. She plugged it in, and began curling her hot pink hair.
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Author's Note: The song Pinkie sang called "Smile" is from the MLP:FIM episode called "A Friend In Deed." This fanfic is appropriate for the way I've been feeling these past few months. 2014 hasn't been a good year for me so far, so writing this has been one of my ways of dealing with it. I'm probably going to write more My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic fanfiction in the future, and might possibly, eventually write a story where they're ponies, but writing about humans is more my style. I've been planning on writing Adventure Time fanfiction as well. Also, I'm going to update some of the stories that I haven't updated in years. As far as MLP:FIM goes, I feel I can relate to the show, because I'm a lot like Fluttershy, and I've had a lot of friends over the years who were Twilight's, Applejack's, Rarity's, Rainbow Dash's, and Pinkie Pie's. In this fanfic Pinkie Pie is having a bad time the way I've been this year, but in general I have more in common with Fluttershy. I considered writing what it was that was making Pinkie so sad, but thought maybe it would be better for it to be left up to interpretation. Eventually I might decide to reveal what it is in a future fanfic, but I feel that it's more relatable for readers who have been going through this kind of depression for it to be left to the imagination.