I own nothing of what you recognize, those rights belong to Rick Riordan.
Annabeth's POV
Though it was almost 4:30 in the morning, I still lay awake in my bunk, shaking silently as the tears dripped onto my already soaked pillow. I didn't understand how this had happened, when it started, or even where it came from. All I wanted was someone to come to me and hold me in that moment. I needed someone to tell me I was fine. I wanted Percy, but Percy couldn't know my secrets. His obliviousness to my dangerous behaviors were a precious blessing, and I couldn't risk him figuring anything out. The only person who ever gave me strange looks when I absent-mindedly mushed my food around my plate instead of eating during meals or wore long sleeves even on the hottest summer days was Thalia, my best friend. I could tell she was suspicious, but all it took was a bite of food here and there or a reassuring smile to ease the tension.
"I am not one to be depressed. I must be strong, right, perfect, happy," I kept repeating to myself as I lay there crying. A whimper escaped my lips and a bunk across the room creaked. The tears continued to spill over as I clasped my hands to my mouth, fearing I had woken one of my half-siblings. I needed to settle down before my anxiety escalated into a panic attack, so I slowly reached under my bed frame, feeling for the cool metal of the blade. After just moments I found it and crept across the cabin floor to the girls bathroom. Once inside, I shut and locked the door, flicked on the light, and turned to face the mirror. My blonde hair was up in a messy bun and I had deep, dark circles under my eyes from lack of sleep. My pajamas hung baggily around my small frame. Looking in the mirror I could see the totality of my imperfections: the hideous excess weight padding my entire body; the wispies from my broken-off hair hanging around my face; dull, grey, sunken eyes; …the altogether repulsive person steadily matching my gaze. Mirrors always made things worse. I am told I'm pretty by my friends, but I don't believe them. It's easy to see through the obligatory compliments. I mean, what are they supposed to say? They're my friends; it's their job.
After the well-rehearsed staring contest always came the onslaught of thoughts, "Look at yourself. Or can you even stand to? You are rather weak. As well as fat. stupid. ugly. lazy. unimportant. burdensome. replaceable… just to name a few…" On and on my mind spun until I was filled with a nauseating sense of self-hatred. Without being completely aware of my actions, I raised my right hand and brought the sharp edge of the blade across my left forearm. again and again. Soon enough I began to feel the familiar sting, a little more intense than usual. I am afraid to look down and see the war-zone that was my arm, but grateful for the sense of relief and satisfaction I got from the pain. As I lowered my gaze to my arm, I saw the blood oozing out of several deep cuts. I breathe a sigh of relief though, knowing that I didn't go too far. I can feel the strength slowly leaving my arms and legs. My vision gets spotty and I hear myself cry-out as my body collapses under its weight.
BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG. I open my eyes and am staring at the bathroom ceiling. There is a sore spot on the back of my head and the cuts on my arm are excruciating, but other than that I seem to be okay. BANG, BANG.
"Annabeth! Are you in there? Answer me, Annabeth! I swear I will knock this door in if you don't answer me. Are you okay?" Even though my ears feel like they're stuffed with cotton I can tell it's Malcolm.
"Yeah, I'm okay. Just slipped on some water that was on the floor. Sorry to wake you."
"You sure? It sounded like a pretty hard fall?"
"Yeah, I'm sure, Malcolm. I'm fine. Just go back to sleep." He stands there for a minute before I here his footsteps retreat back across the cabin floor. I push myself up, causing spots to reoccur in my vision and my head to pound. Steadying myself with the counter, I take a few deep breathes before beginning to clean up my mess. I lower my sleeve down my arm once it has stopped bleeding and ease back across the cabin to my bed. It's about 5:45 at this point and everyone will be getting up soon. I close my eyes and drift heavily off to sleep.