Naming the Band
Just a little thought for you to enjoy
"We've been friends for a while now, right?" James asked as the four slumped into their respective beds after narrowly escaping Filch for the fifth time in three nights.
"Go to sleep, James," Remus grumbled.
"What are you getting at?" Sirius asked, ignoring Remus and beginning an annoying tapping on his bedpost.
"We need a name. And a motto. And code names."
"Sounds cool," Peter responded.
"Sleep sounds cool," Remus retorted.
"Furry little problem keeping you up at night, Remus?" Sirius antagonized.
"No, the moon does."
"Loony Lupin doesn't like the moony moon!" James exclaimed in mock horror.
"That was absolutely awful, James, I seriously mean it in the meanest way," Remus commented.
"I thought we had an agreement that the only 'serious' allowed is me."
"Moony sounds like a great codename for you, Remus!" Peter distracted the group.
"Call me that and I'll tell McGonagall you put the magically altered whoopee cushion on her chair yesterday."
"Flitwick will give me back whatever points she takes away once I show him my charm work on it," James answered, unconcerned.
"Shut up and go to sleep, all of you."
"Help us with names and I'll let you sleep," James bargained.
"Or I could tell McGonagall exactly why you walked around with a giant set of antlers last week."
"That's low!"
"Whatever, Prongs, go to sleep."
"You walked into that one, Prongs," Sirius laughed.
"If you don't stop that infernal tapping this instant, Sirius, I will make bad puns with your name in every sentence for the next week, put a silencing charm on you so you can't speak a word, and then make you walk on tacks until September."
"I guess I'll just have to make it my life's goal tap you to death because you won't do any of that."
Remus drew his wand so quickly and muttered a spell under his breath to turn Sirius's hands into rubber so when he next tapped the bedpost, loud enough to make a point, his hand bounced off the bedpost and struck him in the face.
"Sirius has padded paws!" Peter giggled.
"I don't get it," James deadpanned.
"Well, Paddyfoot, are you going to stop tapping now?" Remus asked.
Sirius rapped the bedpost again out of spite. "You did not just call me Paddyfoot!"
"Yes I did, now let me sleep!" Remus snapped his bed curtains closed.
"Don't I get a name?" Peter asked.
"Maybe if you didn't have a worm coming out of the back of your head, Moony here will take you more seriously," James suggested.
"It's not a worm! It's a rat tail!"
"It looks like a worm right now, Wormy." Remus snorted. "Call me Moony again, James, and I will hex you."
"And what would Loony Moony do to me?"
Remus stuck his wand out of his bed curtains and pointed it unerringly at James. A flash of light and a loud bang later, James had the words 'I'm a dork' plastered across his forehead. Sirius and Peter busted out laughing.
"What did he do?" James demanded.
"Look in a mirror," Sirius advised through his laughter.
"MOONY!"
A second bang and James's hair vanished.
"My hair! You'll pay for that, Moony!" James dove towards the bed hiding Remus.
Instead of diving through soft curtains, James slammed headfirst into a solid wall.
"I don't think you should antagonize, Moony right now, Prongs."
"Silencio!"
A loud thud answered Remus and Sirius shot to his feet for a brief second before falling back onto his bead with tacks in his shoes. "I may not be Sirius, but I am damn serious about not being called Moony." Remus snapped. Peter groaned. "Are you all finished with your Sirius antics?"
"We get it, Moony, you want your beauty sleep, now put us all back to normal!" James groaned.
No answer.
"Please?"
"Beg."
"Hell no!"
"Beg."
"Fine, I will do anything except stop calling you Moony if you will put us all back to normal!"
"I put you back to normal and we start actually planning the rest of our Marauder expeditions so we don't end up running from Filch every night."
"Deal."
A wave of his wand later, Sirius and James were back to normal.
"So we have codenames, a group name, now we just need a motto."
"What are you talking about, James?" Sirius asked while Remus opened his bed curtains, smirking.
"At least someone else appreciates subtlety." Remus grumbled as James explained.
"Sirius is Paddyfoot—"
"I will tolerate Padfoot, but I will take a leaf out of Moony's book and hex anyone who calls me Paddyfoot!"
"Fine, Sirius is Padfoot, I'm Prongs, Peter is Wormy—"
"It's a rat tail, not a worm!"
"Peter is Wormtail,"
"Hey!"
"Suck it up, Remus is Moony."
"Are you trying to get yourself hexed again?" Remus asked innocently.
"It stuck, deal with it. We're all called the Marauders. Now, what's our motto?"
"Well, our mission is to prank the school and cause mayhem," Sirius began.
"Can we sleep on it and figure it out in the morning?"
"No, tonight."
"I solemnly swear that I am not guilty," Peter suggested
"How about we change 'not guilty' to 'up to no good.' It sounds better," James corrected.
"Mischief managed, now everyone GO TO BED!"