The Characters of Inside Out are not mine, though I absolutely love Anger. Rated T for one swear word.
AN: What if they all had a second side?
Those little voices inside our heads that help us get through life have a unique second side to them, a stronger feeling they can embody. Haven't we all felt joy turn to sweet exhilaration, disgust turn inwards and into burning envy, sadness into all-encompassing depression, fear into sheer terror, and anger into blind rage? Sometimes they last only moments, and sometimes they are here to stay.
Three nights after Riley had almost run away, Anger lay awake in his bed. Just like the last two nights, sleep was proving elusive for the emotion as his self-loathing and regret kept him from the rest he badly needed. He hadn't slept at all since Joy and Sadness had disappeared from Headquarters, and it was starting to take its toll. He was shorter with everyone, and there were times he felt , well, sad. The others had accepted his apology, Fear and Disgust had even offered their own, but Anger knew that that whole mess was his own. Life had returned to normal, kind of, but he could tell the others didn't trust him anymore. They said good morning and acted like everything was alright, however Anger could see it in their eyes: they were terrified of him. He sighed and rubbed a hand across his bloodshot eyes.
Riley doesn't need me, he thought. All I do is hurt her.
Let me out, the voice deep within him whispered. Let me out so they know that you are better than what you could become.
Never, Anger defiantly replied before he grit his teeth in pain as black flames erupted along his whole body. Go away, Rage.
You're losing strength, the voice whispered a little louder. Go to sleep and get some rest. You've been denying yourself console time. You know Riley needs you to be angry. She won't be properly balanced until you acknowledge your wrongdoing and move past it. She needs you Anger.
No she doesn't, he responded.
You know what happens when you don't allow her to be angry: your barriers are weakening, and I am starting to come through. You are already weak enough for me to talk to you. This whole conversation would not be happening if you were at full strength, Rage said, stronger this time.
Go AWAY! Anger mentally yelled. The black flames grew hotter and brighter, and Anger had to bury his face in his pillow to muffle his screams. I won't let them lose sleep. I won't be the cause of it. The flames grew hotter as memories of all of his past wrongs and perceived fails played in his mind's eye. Rage played his memories of the past week over and over for him to see., relishing in every moment that Fear looked terrified and Disgust was cowed.
Riley would be better off if I was gone, he thought at the very end. Rage's fire went out in an instant as his nuclear hot core began to cool. All I do is get her in trouble or put her in danger. Pain, almost as hot as Rage's black fire, burned in his throat and made him choke on his own sobs as he began to cry. His door opening and closing, and the sound of quiet footsteps were lost on him until a cool hand gently touched the side of his face.
"Anger?" a soft voice asked. He pulled his head out of his pillow to stare at Sadness.
"You shouldn't be here," he croaked. "I might hurt you."
"No, you won't," Sadness replied. "What happened brought all of us into balance, and Riley suffers now if anything happens to one of us."
"I was out of control," Anger whispered. "I was out of control, and everyone is afraid of me." He sniffled. "I do her wrong every time I am at the controls. It would be better for her if I stopped."
"No, it wouldn't," Sadness said. "She needs to be angry sometimes, just like she needs to be afraid, grossed out, happy, or sad."
"But I took over," Anger said, his whole body aching as it remembered the strain of driving constantly. "And it hurt so bad. The flames actually burned me, and I was afraid they would burn Fear or Disgust, and if they got burned, it would be catastrophic. They aren't like me, so it would hurt more for them than it would hurt me."
"You are in pain," Sadness whispered as she noticed the bags under his eyes and the small flinch he gave when one of her small blue hands cupped his face. Even in the dark, her hand stood out starkly against his pale face. "I also imagine that your secondary emotion has been trying to get out." Anger nodded and leaned into her touch as she continued, "We all have one, however, I think yours is the most powerful and the most costly to both yourself and Riley. We are worried about you, Anger. We see you struggle every day to contain Rage when you are at the console. They appreciate your struggles, as do I. I want you to stop hating yourself. I miss you, Anger."
The lights turned on as Riley woke up.
"I'll see you out there," Sadness said. She gave Anger a hug, then left. Anger pulled on his khakis, shirt, and faced himself in the mirror to tie his tie.
"Today's gonna be better," Anger said to himself.
Don't kid yourself, Rage whispered.
"I'm not gonna get whooped by you," Anger growled back, some of his signature red coming back into his body. "You aren't going to touch Riley."
We'll see, Rage thought as Anger left his room.
The day was pretty normal. Riley woke up, got dressed, grabbed breakfast, and went to school. The others greeted Anger as they always did, and he offered them small smile in return. Sadness's side was nest to his on the console, and she stayed right beside him as he struggled to stay awake. After lunch, Riley sat at her desk a couple minutes before the recess bell signaled the end of recess. Several boys spotted Riley from the hallway and came over to her.
"That's Doug the school bully and his cronies," Disgust said as both she and Fear pressed buttons on the console.
"What're you doing, Crybaby?" Doug asked. Anger hissed and hit a button while Fear did the same.
"Leave me alone," Riley snapped, a new purple and red memory rolling in. Doug grabbed the paperback book she had been reading and started to pull the spine apart. "Stop!"
"Why should I?" Doug snorted. "What are you gonna do about it?" Anger heard a pounding in his ears as his handlebars came up on the console. Fear let go and allowed his friend control.
"Give it back," Riley snarled as she stood.
"Or what?" Doug asked. The book hung from his hands, almost completely ripped in half. "Oops." The book ripped. Their favorite book that Meg had given to them before they left fluttered to the linoleum floor in two separate halves. Memories of being shunned at school, of her old life, of her old friends, of her failures flashed before her eyes as Riley screamed. Anger jerked his handlebars full forward as power and his full vibrant color came rushing through him. Riley, in turn, felt the power of her anger come pouring in as she leapt at the boys. Anger's vision was red as his head erupted in his normal flames. Black spots entered his vision as he finally relaxed and remembered who he was. Exhaustion finally got the better of him, and he sank into the velvet arms of unconsciousness.
Sorry, Anger. Riley needs me, Rage said as he assumed control. I'm free!
The other emotions stared as their friend dropped to the ground, one hand still glued to the control panel. Black flames circled him, and, when he opened his eyes, they were as black as night.
"First time out in seven years," he said, but the voice was not Anger's. It was darker and far more sinister, filled with malice and sheer power. The emotion got to his feet and cracked its neck,
"Rage," Joy said. Fear cowered behind her as the emotion nodded while never taking his eyes off the screen.
"Joy," he said. "Long time no see. Let's go, Riley." A joystick popped up from the console and Rage toggled it. Riley struggled in two of the boy's grips while Doug stared at her.
"Let go of me!" Riley yelled. "Leave me alone you bastards!" She twisted and turned, elbowing one of the boys in the stomach and kicking another in the crotch. Doug grabbed her hair and tried to get her in a chokehold when a cool voice spoke from the classroom door, "What is going on in here?"
Doug slowly let go of Riley and they both turned to face the teacher standing in the doorway with a group of kids standing around her.
"All of you to the Principal's office. Now." Riley and the boys walked past her and their classmates in silence. Riley waited as the Principal spoke to the boys first.
"You've had your fun," Joy said. "Give Anger back."
"He's finally sleeping," Rage replied. "You have all been avoiding him for the past three days, and now you want him back? I don't think so. He hasn't slept at all ever since Joy and Sadness went missing, and since you've been back, he thinks you hate him because he hates himself."
"We're worried about him," Disgust said.
"I can't believe I have to be the one to point out the obvious. You need to tell him that and talk to him," Rage replied, black eyes narrowing. "He's been beating himself up over what happened, which has been feeding me, but he's been trying to control me at the same time. He's literally tearing himself in two, and it is killing him."
"We'll be better," Fear said while Joy, Disgust, and Sadness nodded.
"Good," Rage said. "Get the burn ointment, Sadness. Thanks. Can you team up with me to talk to the principal?"
"Sure," the little blue emotion said as she came back with the burn ointment.
"Great. He's gonna need it when he comes back," Rage said. The door opened and the three boys came out.
"His flames don't hurt him, so why does he need the burn ointment?" Joy asked.
"Because my fire is not his. Mine is darker and it hurts more. If you don't believe me, look at the memory." As Rage and Sadness talked to the Principal, the others looked at the latest addition: a black and red swirled memory.
"I see," the Principal said. "don't fight again, Riley, or else you will be expelled. I'm going to have to call your parents as well as theirs for this. Go ahead and go back to class."
Rage and Sadness made Riley nod, then the malicious black eyes roved over the emotions.
"He cares so much about all of you, and doesn't want to see you get hurt. Remember that and return the favor," Rage closed his eyes and focused within himself. Anger? Come on. Wake up. "Damn. He's not coming back on his own. It's like he wants to stay gone. Sorry about this, everyone, but this may be the only way to reach him." Rage smiled apologetically as his body changed. His hands sprouted claws as his body became taller and leaner. His flames settled around him like a cape of crackling darkness, and leapt at the other emotions.
Deep in his own mind, Anger relished the quiet, peaceful center that was his soul. The darkness was warm, making him sleepier than he already was. A red bed, exactly like his own in HQ, appeared in front of him, its covers drawn back and practically begging to be slept in. Anger staggered towards it, knowing sleep was right in front of him, when Joy's voice echoed in the warm room.
"Anger, are you really going to let Rage win?" she yelled. Another voice joined hers.
"Yeah, 'cause then you'd be really weak, pipsqueak," Disgust chimed in.
They're trying to make me angry, Anger realized. But right now I just want to sleep.
"Anger, wake up," Sadness's voice rang in the room, more powerful than her normal volume. "None of us blame you."
"Anger, we are sorry for leaving you alone," they all said. "Please come back."
"Anger, he's got Sadness," Fear whimpered.
"What!" Anger yelled. The warm room became hot, then hotter still until it was like a supernova.
Not my friends, Rage! He howled.
In HQ, Rage opened his mouth, about to put Sadness in his jaws, when golden flames crackled around him. The other emotions covered their eyes as a blinding white light filled the room followed by Anger's battle cry. He set Sadness down beside Joy before the golden flames encircled him. The black fire wrestled with the golden flames as the two strove against each other for control. The others watched as the gold flames forced the black ones underneath them and pushed them into Anger's skin. He screamed again, this time in pain, as the darkness was shoved back to where it belonged.
They understand now, Anger, Rage thought. They will stand beside you forever.
Thanks, Rage. But did you have to go after them? Anger asked.
It was the only way to get you to come back, the other emotion replied. I only did it because I know how you feel about them. Your protective streak saved them and you.
Thanks. I'll talk to you later, Anger thought. His golden flames circled around him as he opened his eyes. For a moment, they were black as night, then returned to their normal red-brown color.
"Hey guys," he muttered., a small grin on his face. "Been a while." The brick-like emotion collapsed, but this time, his friends caught him.
"We don't hate you, Anger," Disgust said. "We were just worried for you."
"I'm sorry we weren't there more for you," Joy said.
"'s okay," Anger slurred. "Bed now?
"
"Of course," Joy replied. "Fear, monitor Riley. We'll get Anger to bed."
Fear nodded as the others gently picked up Anger and carried him to his room, careful of his burns.
"Sadness, do you have the ointment?" Joy asked. They little blue emotion nodded and produced the tube.
"We've got him from here, Joy," Disgust said. "We've done this before."
Joy decided not to ask as the other two gently began to clean and treat Anger's burns.
"Got him good this time, didn't he," Disgust said, cleaning a particularly long burn on Anger's arm.
"This time was different from the last times he's asked us for help," Sadness answered as she looked at the silvery scars tracing shapes on Anger's body.
"The last time was when we defended Meg," Anger groggily said. Disgust nodded and gently applied the burn ointment to the one across his face.
"Go back to sleep, Anger," Sadness said when they were done with the ointment. "I'll stay with you." Anger closed his eyes and fell back asleep.
"Good thing this stuff heals burns in twelve hours," Disgust commented. Sadness nodded and held Anger's hand. "He really cares about you, Sadness. You should tell him how you feel about him."
Sadness settled beside Anger as Disgust left. She was there all night and was the first thing he saw when he woke up. The next morning, when the others saw him, none of them commented on the scar that went from the bottom of his chin, through his lips, and diagonally across his face through his left eye. None of them commented, because the scars showed just how strong their Anger was.