More Than You Think You Are Chapter 1: Don't Say Goodbye, a bleach fanfic

Well, isn't this just typical of me. I have my hands full with several stories, and low and behold, I feel the need to make a new one. I am the absolute WORST with this, and I can't seem to harness and control it. I'd ask for help, but the fact of the matter is, I love the insanity of having to cram and speed-type just to update a story. I always seem to do my best work under the preassure of a deadline.

Anyways, as it said in the summary, yes, this is a little fluffy one-shot collection for the pleasure of the good people that take time out of their days to read my poorly-written crap. (And for this, I thank you all!) Nothing too hard-core, no lemons or hanky-panky or stuff like that. Just some good old-fashioned IchiRuki fluffy fluff. Examples: hugs, kisses, and no little IchiRuki offspring running around, unless it's necessary (it always seems to be, though...).

For the first chapter, I have decided to use the genius work of the band Skillet (lurv them to death) in a desperate attempt to hid the fact that, comparied to most of the people on this webside, I can't write. Here are some quicky disclaimers:

Band: Skillet

Song: Say Goodbye

Album: Comatose

No, I don't own Bleach (still trying to, though!).

June 14, 8:03 PM

"So, you're really going back to Soul Society, huh?" Ichigo shoved his hands into the pockets of his pants, leaning against the wall. The room was pitch black; no one had bothered to turn a light on. His amber eyes followed Rukia across the room as she gathered her belongings, stuffing them into a red duffel bag. It was like watching a movie play out before his eyes, not being able to stop or change what was happening, no matter how much he wanted to. The rain poured down mercilessly on the window, the pattering noise growing louder with the passing seconds.

"Yeah." Rukia quietly answered, putting one of her shirts into the bag. A few other articles of clothing followed the shirt before she zipped up the bag, turning around to face Ichigo. "Do have a picture of you I could keep?"

Things are changing
It seems strange and
I need to figure this out.
You've got your life
I got mine
But you're all I cared about.

The question caught Ichigo off guard, but he just shrugged and walked to his desk. Opening the drawer, he pulled out a small photograph and handed it to Rukia, his scowl still visible. "Here."

Blinking, Rukia reached out and took the photograph, her fingers gently brushing against Ichigo's. The back of the photo read, June 29, back from Soul Society. She flipped it over and remembered that it was the picture she made Ichigo take with her at the amusement park when they returned from the Soul Society. Ichigo had been standing next to her, practically propping her up, since she could barely stand on her own after riding a roller coaster called "The Raptor", which went upside down, like, fifty times.

And then five minutes after they had the picture taken, Rukia had thrown up two chili dogs and a pint of Dr. Pepper all over Ichigo's favorite My Chemical Romance shirt. After purchasing a black shirt with one of the roller coasters designed on the back, Ichigo had been dragged to the ferris wheel by Rukia who had eagerly asked the cursing teen, "What kind of fascinating contraption is this?" As it turned out, the "fascinating contraption" had been a little too tall for Rukia's liking, resulting in her curling up into a little ball against Ichigo and holding onto him for dear life.

Yesterday we were laughing,
Today I'm left here asking,
Where has all the time gone now?
I'm left alone somehow
Growing up and getting older
I don't want to believe it's over.

"You kept this picture?" Rukia asked quietly, still looking at the faded photograph.

Ichigo scoffed, shrugging his broad shoulders. "Of course I kept it, fool. You think I just throw all the pictures people give me out?"

Rukia blinked, shrinking back at the teen's angry tone. "N-no, it's just that-"

"Sorry, just forget it." Ichigo shook his head and looked out the window at the rain drops hitting the glass. He hated the rain. It almost always signaled that something bad was going to happen in his life. First, it was his mom dying to protect him from a hollow. Now, it was Rukia leaving for the Soul Society. Leaving everything she had on the earth to go back to the SS. Leaving him for the Soul Society. Had he done something to make her go back, to drive her away? He really didn't know, because the only explanation she had given him as to why she was leaving was that "she belonged there."

Don't say goodbye,
Cause I don't wanna hear those words tonight.
Cause maybe it's not the end for you and I.
And although we knew
This time would come for me and you,
Don't say anything tonight
If you're gonna say goodbye.

Ichigo cocked his head to the side, watching her tuck the picture safely between two of her shirts before re-zipping the duffel bag. He folded his arms over his chest and leaned against the closed closet door, watching Rukia's movements carefully. "Do you really want to go? Is this what you want, or what you think everyone over there will want?"

"Ichigo," Rukia turned around to face him, eyes brimming with tears. "We've talked about this. My life isn't here; it's over there. I have nothing here."

"No, no" Ichigo shook his head, his voice rising. "Please don't give me that. You do have a life here. You've got people here that care about you and that don't want to see you go. You've got Karin, Yuzu, Inoue, Uryu, and a hell of a lot of other people that want you to stay here. I want you to stay here. Are you just gonna leave this all behind, just like that?"

"This isn't my world, Ichigo!" Rukia yelled, looking up into his eyes. "This is your world. You have friends, a family, a home, a life."

"And you don't? Look me in the face and tell me that you can walk away from everything here, that this all means nothing to you." Ichigo challenged, folding his arms over his chest.

Do you remember
In December
How we swore we'd never change?
Even though you're leaving
That our feelings
Would always stay the same.

"Do you honestly think that I'm leaving because you don't mean anything to me?"

"I never said anything about me; I just said about everything in general." Ichigo smirked triumphantly, looking down at the raven-haired shinigami.

Rukia blushed, looking away from Ichigo with a scowl on her face. "That makes no difference. You know what I meant. I mean, I couldn't survive here. I still don't know how to work one of those stupid juice-things, for the love of God! How am I gonna survive in a place full of things I've never even heard of?"

"First of all," Ichigo began, his expression still cold, "You don't know how to work a juice box because every time I do it for you, you never pay attention. And second of all, if you weren't so stubborn and asked for help, you might know how to work a computer or a TV. We aren't born knowing how to work these things; we have to learn. You can learn just as easily as anyone else can."

Ichigo's as-a-matter-of-fact statement received no response, but instead of pressing the matter like he desperately wanted to, he leaned against the wall and remained quiet. It hurt just to watch Rukia pack, knowing that it was only a matter of minutes before she walked out of his room, and very possibly, out of his life. But she wouldn't listen to his reasoning, which had taken him around thirty minutes to construct, and there seemed to be no other options available except for him to tie her to a chair until she promised to stay.

I wish we could be laughing
Instead I'm standing here asking,
Do we have to end this now?
Can we make it last somehow?
We both know what we've gotta say, not today
Cause I don't wanna leave this way.

A bright bolt of lightning flash just outside of the window, quickly followed by a deafening crack of thunder. Rukia jumped back slightly, clearly startled by the sudden noise, but did not let it phase her for too long. She looked back at the bag she had been packing, and murmured quietly, "I never liked thunder storms."

Ichigo heard the nearly inaudible comment, and replied so she could hear him, "Then don't go out into it." He prayed that Rukia couldn't tell that it was a plea hidden within one of his smart-ass comments. He never pleaded, but now he was and even worse, he was hiding it behind something that he knew might push her even further away from him. The part of him that wanted her to stay, which was practically all of him, wasn't breaking through the rough exterior that gave the idea that he couldn't have cared less whether or not she left.

An even louder, sharper crack of thunder startled both of them, and when Rukia jumped back from near the window in surprise, her foot got caught on the leg of Ichigo's bed and she fell forward, loosing her balance. She expected to crash down onto the hard, wood floor, then have the teen across the room make some stupid comment about her being uncoordinated. She shut her eyes, waiting for the painful fall…but it never came. Instead, two strong arms pulled her out of her descent and against someone's chest, holding her body close. She looked up at Ichigo's face, the trademark scowl still there. The only thing different was that he was holding her against his defined chest in a gentle embrace. "Ichigo,"

"Shut up." Ichigo's command was stern, but unbelievably soft, all at the same time. One of his arms had circled around Rukia's waist, keeping her body comfortably pressed against his, and his other hand rested on the back of her head, softly pressing her face against his shoulder.

Rukia stopped all movement, trying to decide whether she should move away and return to Soul Society like she knew she should have, or return the soft embrace like she desperately wanted to. The Soul Society was where she belonged, true; but was what Ichigo had said about her having an equally important life in the real world true? Would she be able to adapt to what the orange-haired teen referred to as "modern technology"? She knew the Soul Society was where she belonged, with Renji and her brother. But she desperately wanted, no, needed to stay with Ichigo.

The raven-haired shinigami could tell that, beneath Ichigo's calm exterior, embracing her must have been the most terrifying thing he had done in a long time. She could tell that it was true when she felt his heart beating rapidly in his chest, causing his torso to faintly twitch with each heartbeat. Another crash of thunder made her instinctively press herself closer to the teen's body, tucking her head under his chin in an attempt to drown out the small rolls of thunder that crashed in the distance.

Rukia could hear Ichigo laugh softly at her surprise-induced actions, the comforting hug tightening so that their bodies were pressed firmly together. The orange-haired teen's brisk heartbeat had begun to slow down, his body becoming less rigid as the feel of the girl's body pressed against his made the tense muscles in his body relax. The only noise being made was the occasional roll of thunder and the sound of the rain hitting the glass window.

And if it's over
It hurts but I'm giving you my word.
I hope that you're always
Happy like we were.
Happy like we were.

Neither of them spoke for the longest time, simply enjoying the comfort that the embrace offered. As much as Rukia wanted the moment to last forever, for them to spend the rest of their lives in that position on that spot, to never have to worry about where they belonged or any other petty matters, she pulled back from the hug and looked into Ichigo's amber eyes, his arms still around her small body. His face had kept the hard scowl, but his eyes silently pleaded for her to stay with him. "Ichigo," The look in his eyes, the hope that dimly lit them, nearly tore her apart. "Ichigo, I…I'm sorry, but-"

"No." Ichigo interrupted, pulling her against his body. "Please," His voice was still hard and uncaring, hoping that it would conceal the fact that he was begging, "Please. If you're going to say good bye, then just don't say anything. I can't stand to hear you say good bye."

The pain and shattered hope in Ichigo's voice consumed Rukia with guilt. He sounded utterly defeated, as if something he had been fighting for was being ripped out of his life; which, much to Rukia's displeasure, was exactly what was happening. He had given his blood to bring her back, and she was running back to the place he had rescued her from. How immensely it was effecting him surprised her; after all the times he had called her a fool, or a weirdo, or a dope, she would never have guessed that he would care whether or not she left.

"Please," Ichigo looked down at her, his calloused hands gently holding her face. His eyes will filled with sorrow and anguish, a piece of his heart threatening to leave with Rukia. "If I mean…if I've ever meant anything to you, then just…please," He shut his eyes, resting his forehead against Rukia's. Lightning flashed out side the window, casting shadows across the teen's defeated face. "Please stay. Don't say good bye, and stay with me."

"I-Ichigo…" Rukia murmured sadly, guilt evident in her voice. "I…I can't stay here. I don't belong here-"

"You do belong here." Ichigo interrupted, his lips barely touching hers as his hot breath crashed against her face. "Forget about everything; forget about the Soul Society, forget about where you think you do and don't belong. Forget about everything but us and tell me honestly. Do you want to leave?"

Of course I don't, fool, Rukia thought, her fists holding tightly to the shoulders of Ichigo's shirt as she attempted to speak. "No, but-"

"But nothing." Ichigo firmly stated, the feeling of his lips gently grazing against her nearly driving Rukia insane. "You don't want to leave, so stay."

Daring to ask the question that had been plaguing her thoughts since the conversation had begun, Rukia swallowed before asking in as gentle a voice as she could muster, "Why? Why do you want me to-"

Rukia's question was abruptly cut off as a pair of warm lips pressed against hers, silencing her immediately. She was surprised at Ichigo's forward and unexpected actions, but quickly melted into the gentle contact. His rough hands held her face to his, keeping her from moving away; not that she wanted to, anyways. One of her arms wrapped around his neck while the other held onto his shirt, steadying herself as her legs threatened to give out beneath her. Ichigo pulled back slowly, as if he regretted breaking the contact between them, and murmured quietly, "Why? Because I love you. God, I've loved you for the longest time."

"Ichigo…" Rukia whispered, her voice pained; he couldn't really lover her, could he? She weakly lifted her hand, letting her fingers run down his face and over his soft lips. She felt his hand gently take hers, holding her fingertips to his lips.

"It's taken me this long to push aside my foolish pride and say this, so please don't push me away." Ichigo whispered, kissing her fingertips softly. "I don't care what it takes; I'll do everything I did to save you a thousand times over if you just would stay with me."

Rukia forced a small smile, looking kindly into Ichigo's hopeful eyes. "Would you let me go and unpack if I said yes?"

"No." Ichigo smirked, capturing her lips once again in a passionate kiss. Rukia felt him smile against her lips, but ignored it and breathed in his scent, leaning up against him. And for the blissful moments of contact they shared, there was nothing in the world except for them.

The Raptor is a kick-ass rollercoaster at Cedar Point in Sandusky, Ohio. On Friday, I'm gonna ride it so many times that I'll barf up my stomach (lovely, no?). And if any of you have ever been there before, you know what I mean :D

For those of you who haven't, drop everything your doing and hitch a ride up there ASAP!

-BleachBox Romance