Don't Stop Dancing
Summary: Daisuke on his journey to find love; lost, taken, given. For himself. For others. For his dreams. Unrequited Daikari
A/N: This ties into Angel Weasel-Woman's and mine's headcanon. See her profile for a full list. This can be read stand-alone.
Warnings/Pairings: Use of alcohol, strong language. Pairings vary.
[1]
At times life is wicked
and I just can't see the light
"Hey, Motimiya, seems like you can't even kill yourself right!" called Meru, a girl who sat at the front of the room alongside the other popular girls. She was grinning at him and giving a thumbs down. Word spread in Odaiba quickly. Daisuke didn't even bother to try and defend himself. He wasn't even sure where to begin.
How did they find out? Jun, probably. She had a big mouth that she couldn't keep closed to save a life; not that was where her intentions lied.
Daisuke didn't need to be told he had messed up royally, either. He never expected anything less out of himself. Why should he when he could never get perspective on what he did right?
Only one face stood out to him and that was a young brunette named Hikari. Everyone, even someone Daisuke once considered his best friend, had poked fun at him at least once. But not Hikari. In a way she was like a silent guardian angel, like a reminder of everything good in him and Daisuke liked to think Hikari thought like that, since she was always smiling and giggling.
He still hadn't the courage to say anything more than his name to her.
He wasn't sure if he even deserved friends anymore.
Daisuke had been standing on a chair in his closet for about an hour, staring down at the floor. He had made his bed, done his chores and homework; but he did that on a daily basis anyway, not that his parents noticed. Most things went unnoticed, unless he screwed up. Even his sister, Jun, didn't bother to speak to him unless to critisize, it seemed.
He felt the soft cloth of one of his father's ties in his hands and around his neck, thinking that it should smell like his father, but Daisuke didn't remember what that was like.
The chair was an heirloom of his mothers that she had tossed into his room just because it didn't fit anywhere else in the house.
Then his mind drifted to his older sister, Jun, who would at least spare some blame for this. She was stuck in the same bullshit situation he was.
She had been the one to find him as he started to kick the chair out from under him. Before Daisuke could hear the sound of his neck snapping or even feel the noose tighten about his neck, he felt arms embracing him and heard someone calling him an idiot followed by a bunch of cursing.
"Dai," Jun whispered once she was sure he was alright. "What will you prove to anyone if you're dead?"
"...that wasn't the reason," Daisuke replied, now sitting next to his sister on the bed in some weird fog of shame. He couldn't look at her and just stared at his hands, resting limply on his knees.
"...then what?" Jun insisted.
"I want to be recognized for the good things I do, you know? Like you, Jun. You're always crusading over something. I wanna be like you."
Jun stifled a laugh, "Daisuke, you're talking about Mom and Dad? They only stop to yell at me about how I'm ruining my life. Nothing will please them, so don't try. Just... you know, do what makes you happy. That's what matters..." Jun stood and started to leave, contemplating if she should tell their parents what she had witnessed, but again, she could see that kind of negative attention was what had driven her brother so far. "...are you really alright?"
"I think so..." Daisuke whispered.
"I'm gonna regret saying this, but my door is always open, you know."
"Thanks, Jun."
Now, Daisuke was just starting 4th grade and he had his single mission in life: winning Hikari's heart. Why? Because on that day when he returned to school and those girls were calling him a failure, she told him, "I'm glad you're okay. If I had to come to school and not been able to hear your laugh or see your smile, it would devastate me."
Of course, he had been too nervous to say anything back except a jumble of words. She just giggled at him and gently brushed her hand against his shoulder before returning to her desk.
Daisuke had wandered life aimlessly since that day. He had no real hobbies, jumping from one thing to the next. In not Hikari, but her older brother, Taichi, did he find some form of self identity and it was completely by accident.
Daisuke went over to visit Hikari after school often, at first just for tutoring with homework, but then they spent afternoons just talking about nothing at all. As time passed, though, Daisuke noticed a change in her and she withdrew from him more and more. Not just at home, but at school, too. So, one day he went to go see her and ask what was going on.
That was when Taichi answered the door. Daisuke couldn't help but feel intimidated by him. The boy was tall, muscular, and definetly protective of his sister, if his tone meant anything: "Oh, you're looking for Hikari, aren't you?"
"Yeah. Is she here?"
"She's with Takeru."
"Takeru...?"
"A friend," Taichi shrugged. He didn't have time to wonder why the girl hadn't mentioned either boy to the other.
"Eh," came a mumble from behind Taichi. Daisuke peeked around the gogglehead's shoulders to a blonde about Taichi's age. Already the blue eyes made him stand out, but his hair was nearly reaching his shoulders and just looked outright strange. "Can we stop discussing my baby brother's love life and get going? I have things to do."
"What... some band with your classmates? Why don't you get good at soccer and we take over the sport world together?"
"I'll pass... and so help me if you damage my playing hand."
"Like you'll ever get a girl, Yamato," Taichi grinned. "Or are your nights that lonely?"
"That's not what I meant!" the blonde retorted, blushing a deep red and shrinking back. "So help me Digi-Jesus Taichi, I'll-"
"If... he doesn't want to," Daisuke stammered, "I have nothing better to do." He hadn't played much soccer, but he at least could help Taichi "spar".
"Suits me," Yamato breathed, brushing past Daisuke, "Now, don't go gloating and scaring him off like the rest of your teammates that refuse to practice with you, Yagami."
"Screw you, man. See you later," Taichi chuckled as the blonde flipped him off and left.
Daisuke was immediately puzzled by their interactions. They were good friends, obviously. Daisuke knew if he was Taichi's friend he could work his way back into Hikari's heart. He had to be better than this Takeru guy, anyway. He was probably just as odd as his older brother.
"I guess you'll do," Taichi said, looking Daisuke over.
"I won't let you down!" Daisuke cried, clasping his hands together.
Taichi had a sparkle in his eye, "Wait just a minute." The older boy disappeared into the house and came back a moment later with a set of cleats. "They're old, but they should fit you."
Daisuke nodded and they headed down to the nearby park. Taichi re-explained the basic rules and positions of the game and Daisuke soaked it all up like a sponge.
Practices turned into school practices and then games. As he lost Hikari, he had gained soccer. Daisuke couldn't help but feel his life was just one exchanging of pain for a new happiness. Still, he vied for the girl that had given him the strength to keep going.