Chapter 1

CARTMAN'S POV

"Ugh, do we really have to go on this stupid-ass camping trip?" I grumbled, looking out of the bus window only to find endless trees. "Shut the hell up Cartman, it'll be fun. Well, it'd be even MORE fun if you'd just shut your mouth and let us enjoy ourselves even once!" Kyle snapped.

I rolled my eyes. Trust the stupid ginger Jersey Jew to use any chance he can to insult me. "Well maybe if you hadn't decided to come along, I'd actually have fun here." I lashed back, glaring at him heatedly. He didn't have to be such a dumbass ALL the time!

"Guys, stop arguing, you might get in trouble." Stan told us, trying to get us to calm down. Psh. I know full well that Stan didn't really care about either me or Kyle; he just didn't want to hear us fight like we always did. I don't know what Kyle sees in that hippie asshole.

After about a million-hour journey, we FINALLY arrived at the campsite. Our class was going on a camping trip out in the woods and do hippie stuff like fishing and nature walks. God, Mr Garrison is so goddamned gay it's not even funny.

"Alright students, pick a partner to share a tent with." Mr Garrison instructed us once we were all off the bus. Like usual, nobody picked me as their partner. Not even Butters; he picked Kenny as his partner. Stupid asshole, what did I ever do to him?

Suddenly, my gaze landed on Kyle, who was looking off in another direction with a somewhat hurt expression on his face. I followed his gaze to see Stan and Wendy walking off together and chatting happily. Was Kyle…jealous?

I sighed. There was nobody left but Kyle to be partners with, but I didn't want to spend a whole week sleeping next to a stupid Jew! Unfortunately, Mr Garrison noticed that we were the only two left. "Alright, Kyle and Eric, you be partners." he told us.

Kyle seemed to snap out of his trance and turned to glare at me. "Really? Why Cartman?" he questioned, seeming like he didn't want me as a partner either. "Kyle, you and Eric be partners or I'm contacting your mother!" Mr Garrison snapped, sternly.

He immediately froze in the spot for a moment, a look of fear on his face, before walking over to me defeatedly. Kyle is such a pussy; he should totally learn to stand up to his controlling bitch of a mother. I almost feel sorry for him. Almost.

We were supposed to set up our tent somewhere in the designated camp area together, apparently to "learn more" about camping. Goddamnit, how gay is this gonna get? As I was doing my job and standing at the side eating cheesy poofs, he set up the tent.

He stopped and scowled at me. "Hey fatass, would you get over here and help me?" he said, angrily. "But I am helping." I replied, popping another cheesy poof into my mouth. "No you're not! Get your fat ass over here before I tell on you!" he yelled.

"Ugh, fine!" I grumbled, walking over to him. I swear, that Jew is such a little tattletale. As I helped him put the stupid-ass tent together, his hand accidentally brushed against mine and suddenly it felt like he had pumped a thousand electric volts into my bloodstream.

It took every single ounce of effort I had in me not to flinch away and just continued working. If I stopped, he would most likely bitch at me like a pissed-off girlfriend on her period. Heh…like Kyle would ever be good enough to be my girlfriend…heh heh…

We eventually finished the tent and rolled out our sleeping bags. Our other belongings were stored someplace with the other students' shit. Thankfully, we were doing the dumb nature stuff tomorrow and spent the day doing whatever we wanted.

Once again, Wendy stole Stan away from Kyle. "Hey dude, wanna-" he began, holding a football. But Wendy randomly jumped in and smiled flirtatiously at the raven-haired boy. "Hey Stan, wanna go for a walk with me in the woods?" she asked.

Stan, being the lovestruck retard he is, obviously went with Wendy. "Sorry Kyle, maybe later." he told the redhead. And then he walked away with his stupid bitch girlfriend. I couldn't help but feel mad at her for some reason…was I jealous too?

No, there was no way I could be jealous over a bitch like her…unless…NO! No way in hell is that possible, I'm just thinking bad thoughts, bad thoughts, bad thoughts! I could have sworn I saw a tear fall down from Kyle's cheek onto the ground before he promptly turned to walked away.

Could it be that Kyle was jealous over Stan?

It sure goddamn looked like it. And Wendy must have figured it out too, which is why she kept on pulling Stan away from him all the time. What a possessive bitch. Even if she knew that Kyle liked her boyfriend, couldn't she NOT try to interfere with their friendship?

Ugh, I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel so…angry over this. I didn't like the hurt look on Kyle's face. I didn't like that Wendy was getting in his way. And most of all…I didn't like that he was in love with Stan and not…

…me.

I tried to shake the thought away. There could be no way that I was jealous about Kyle liking Stan. If Kyle wanted to be gay for Stan, then I didn't care. But I did. Goddamnit, author, stop writing this shit! I really don't care! But I do. AGH! GODDAMNIT YOU STUPID BITCH!

Whatever, I'm pretty sure it'll go away. I could not like Kyle fucking Broflovski. We are opposites. We are enemies. We can't be together. And that's the way it should be. I was probably sick or something…yeah. Just sick.

(…yeah, sick with Boneritis. o3o)

OH MY FUCKING GOD SHUT UP!

END OF CHAPTER