Disclaimer: If Marvel chooses to sue me, they can have all my money--all $11.23 of it.
*******************
Er, for all those people who don't recognize some of these names, here's a recap for y'all:
Dubya Bush: Bush Jr.
Goth Gyrl: one of my original characters...you can read her stories by just going through my profile.
The Crucifixxer: Not a person, but a car...a very evil car.
********************
An X-Man's Nightmare
by Chigliak
Gambit was kneeling on a countertop in the kitchen, rummaging through cabinets, looking for coffee.
"Hurry up, Cajun," Wolverine growled, menancingly unleashing the claws of his right hand and waving them in Gambit's direction. "I want some coffee."
Gambit started looking faster, not liking the thought of a face-to-face (face-to-claws?) meeting with Wolverine's claws. "Gambit hurryin'," he mumbled, "but Gambit not findin' da coffee." He got off the counter. "An'where."
Wolverine glared at Gambit as if it was Gambit's fault there was no coffee.
Cyclops and the Professor walked into the kitchen.
"Good morning, Logan. Good morning, Remy," the Professor greeted the two.
Cyclops looked half-asleep. "Is there any coffee?"
"Non," Gambit answered. "We all out."
The Professor looked alarmed. "All out?" he echoed. "This is a disaster!"
"We must get more," Cyclops agreed.
"To the Crucifixxer!" the Professor declared dramatically.
"Er...Professor?"
"Yes, Remy?"
"Tha' X-Men ain't got no Crucifixxer. Dat car belongs to Goth Gyrl and Bloodlust Boy."
"Ah, Remy, you are mistaken. About a week ago, I had the honor of meeting those two."
"HONOR?" Logan asked skeptically.
"Well, no," the Professor admitted. "They were freaks."
"I knew it," Scott said triumphantly. "Pay up, Gambit. We bet that the Professor would think Goth Gyrl and Bloodlust Boy were freaks, and I won!"
"Shut up, Scott," the Professor said. "And by the way, gambling is a bad example to the young people at this academy."
"Does dis mean Gambit don' have to pay up?" Gambit asked hopefully.
"SHUT UP, SCOTT!" the Professor yelled.
"I didn't say anything!" Scott protested.
"I know," the Professor said apologetically, "but that's just so much fun to say. You were right, Logan."
Scott glared at Wolverine.
Wolverine and Gambit started laughing.
"Oh, and Logan," the Professor continued, "I promised Goth Gyrl your hand in marriage. That's how we got the Crucifixxer."
A look of horror appeared on Wolverine's face. "Me? Marry Goth Gyrl? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"
Gambit looked relieved. "T'ank God it ain't Gambit!"
***************************
On the ride to the supermarket, the Crucifixxer ran over five girls wearing N'Sync shirts, seven guys who looked like clones of O-Town and 98 Degrees, and twelve girls who dressed to look like Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera.
"Isn't there any way to keep this car from killing people?" Cyclops asked, as another girl clad in an N'Sync shirt was destroyed.
"Dis is great," Gambit protested. "We be gettin' rid of all dem teenyboppers!"
Logan was sullenly staring out the window, oblivious to all the commotion.
"'Ey, Wolverine," Gambit elbowed him. "What's da matter? Gambit ain't heard one word from you since we left."
"You'd be speechless too, Cajun, if you'd been promised to some freak like Goth Gyrl."
"Ah, yeah," Gambit said sympathetically. "Gambit wouldn't like dat one bit, mes ami."
**********************
They got to the supermarket, and walked inside.
"Where dey keep da coffee?" Gambit wondered.
"Excuse me, miss," Cyclops said to a clerk. "Where do you keep your coffee?"
The clerk blinked in surprise. "Haven't you heard the news?"
"What news?" growled Wolverine, who just wanted to get the damn coffee and leave, so he could think about his upcoming misery of a life with Goth Gyrl.
"Look," the clerk said, pointing to a tv surrounded by people.
The three X-Men walked over to the tv and watched with horror as the new president, "Dubya" Bush, announced, "I repeat, my first action, as your president, is to ban coffee from this country."
TO BE CONTINUED....
Author's Note: What do y'all want to have happen next? I'm opened to suggestion!
*******************
Er, for all those people who don't recognize some of these names, here's a recap for y'all:
Dubya Bush: Bush Jr.
Goth Gyrl: one of my original characters...you can read her stories by just going through my profile.
The Crucifixxer: Not a person, but a car...a very evil car.
********************
An X-Man's Nightmare
by Chigliak
Gambit was kneeling on a countertop in the kitchen, rummaging through cabinets, looking for coffee.
"Hurry up, Cajun," Wolverine growled, menancingly unleashing the claws of his right hand and waving them in Gambit's direction. "I want some coffee."
Gambit started looking faster, not liking the thought of a face-to-face (face-to-claws?) meeting with Wolverine's claws. "Gambit hurryin'," he mumbled, "but Gambit not findin' da coffee." He got off the counter. "An'where."
Wolverine glared at Gambit as if it was Gambit's fault there was no coffee.
Cyclops and the Professor walked into the kitchen.
"Good morning, Logan. Good morning, Remy," the Professor greeted the two.
Cyclops looked half-asleep. "Is there any coffee?"
"Non," Gambit answered. "We all out."
The Professor looked alarmed. "All out?" he echoed. "This is a disaster!"
"We must get more," Cyclops agreed.
"To the Crucifixxer!" the Professor declared dramatically.
"Er...Professor?"
"Yes, Remy?"
"Tha' X-Men ain't got no Crucifixxer. Dat car belongs to Goth Gyrl and Bloodlust Boy."
"Ah, Remy, you are mistaken. About a week ago, I had the honor of meeting those two."
"HONOR?" Logan asked skeptically.
"Well, no," the Professor admitted. "They were freaks."
"I knew it," Scott said triumphantly. "Pay up, Gambit. We bet that the Professor would think Goth Gyrl and Bloodlust Boy were freaks, and I won!"
"Shut up, Scott," the Professor said. "And by the way, gambling is a bad example to the young people at this academy."
"Does dis mean Gambit don' have to pay up?" Gambit asked hopefully.
"SHUT UP, SCOTT!" the Professor yelled.
"I didn't say anything!" Scott protested.
"I know," the Professor said apologetically, "but that's just so much fun to say. You were right, Logan."
Scott glared at Wolverine.
Wolverine and Gambit started laughing.
"Oh, and Logan," the Professor continued, "I promised Goth Gyrl your hand in marriage. That's how we got the Crucifixxer."
A look of horror appeared on Wolverine's face. "Me? Marry Goth Gyrl? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"
Gambit looked relieved. "T'ank God it ain't Gambit!"
***************************
On the ride to the supermarket, the Crucifixxer ran over five girls wearing N'Sync shirts, seven guys who looked like clones of O-Town and 98 Degrees, and twelve girls who dressed to look like Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera.
"Isn't there any way to keep this car from killing people?" Cyclops asked, as another girl clad in an N'Sync shirt was destroyed.
"Dis is great," Gambit protested. "We be gettin' rid of all dem teenyboppers!"
Logan was sullenly staring out the window, oblivious to all the commotion.
"'Ey, Wolverine," Gambit elbowed him. "What's da matter? Gambit ain't heard one word from you since we left."
"You'd be speechless too, Cajun, if you'd been promised to some freak like Goth Gyrl."
"Ah, yeah," Gambit said sympathetically. "Gambit wouldn't like dat one bit, mes ami."
**********************
They got to the supermarket, and walked inside.
"Where dey keep da coffee?" Gambit wondered.
"Excuse me, miss," Cyclops said to a clerk. "Where do you keep your coffee?"
The clerk blinked in surprise. "Haven't you heard the news?"
"What news?" growled Wolverine, who just wanted to get the damn coffee and leave, so he could think about his upcoming misery of a life with Goth Gyrl.
"Look," the clerk said, pointing to a tv surrounded by people.
The three X-Men walked over to the tv and watched with horror as the new president, "Dubya" Bush, announced, "I repeat, my first action, as your president, is to ban coffee from this country."
TO BE CONTINUED....
Author's Note: What do y'all want to have happen next? I'm opened to suggestion!