Disclaimer- I sadly do not own any of the following characters of plot. This is all Stephenie Meyer. I am but a pawn who likes to mess around with the story a bit.)
I'm new at this, so be kind. Please review after reading!! )
...
Was it all a lie?
No. I had to believe that. I needed that reassurance, that he did love me, however measely in comparison to my love for him, that once upon a time, he did feel that way about me.
I can't forget him.
I force myself to conjure up the image of him, of his crooked smile, his liquid golden eyes. I force myself to remember his laugh, the touch of his skin.
I shudder and hunch closer to myself. No, not remember. Don't remember. It hurts too much. I wanted only to know. To know that he was there, somewhere out there. Know, but never remember, and never forget.
If only he'd never entered my life, if only I'd never witnessed his beauty, never been touched by his grace... I wouldn't be in so much misery everytime I hear his name.
Edward.
Edward...
Shut up!
No. I believe that life would be a dull monotone existence without him. 'Tis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.
He came, he lighted my world with technicolour, the bright amber of everyday life, the sweet purple of love, and bleeding red of a broken heart.
Now my life is fading slowly away, I'm becoming colour blind. I begin mistakening the sad blue for the sweet purple, as I attempt and fail to grasp at its tail. Its trailing laments.
Empty. That's a good word.
Everything reminded me of him. And I hate it. I hate it, but I can do nothing about it. Everyday, it's as if I live in a daze yet pinpricked, alert state. Nothing registers, no words, no actions, but twilight... When dusk comes... I cry a little. The sky turns orange and red, molding into eachother. As if they were one, as if they needed each other. Like the way we were. close and overlapping.
Yet dusk always ends. The red and orange fade away with the sun, the colours gone, followed by unending darkness. Neutral darkness. I feel blinded, my eyes are open, but I see nothing. Nothing but his face. It's so hard to let go. Should I let go? Should I try? Should I attempt to feel something more than this self contempt?
He left.
He left.
I wasn't good enough for him, it never made any sense for him to want me. I was lucky enough to have his attention for the short months that we were together.
I hung onto those memories like a life raft. But never visiting them. I couldn't bare the pain.
I wonder if my heart was still physically there.
Maybe he took it with him. I wouldn't be surprised if he did. He'd taken my soul with him, my consious mind, my thoughts, my love...
Abandoned
Where was the forever he'd promised?
Where was the love he'd sworn he had for me?
Where was he?
Abandoned