A/N: I'm SOOOO sorry i haven't written anything in AGES! I know, im a bad person lol And I DO plan on finishing Just Friends. I got majorly stuck for AGES, but I printed out the whole story, and now im gunna read back over all of it and then write the next chapter. IT SHALL CONTINUE :) Anyways, I started working on this a couple of months ago, and the it went forgotten for a while, but i thought I'd finally finish it. I hope it's not too bad. It is 2:50am on my third night of getting little sleep. Anyway, this story is dedicated to Vivian. I've been missing you like crazy.
The first time was no big deal, we didn't really understand what it meant, and at the time it didn't have to mean anything. We wandered away from the boring party, full of adults talking endlessly and sipping wine. Sel tugged at the straps of her pretty sundress, the one her mother had forced her to wear against her will, and shook her dark brown curls in boredom. We messed around, giggling gaily and running round amongst the tall oak trees as it neared sunset. As we sat by the lake, hands intertwined as we watched the sun sink down below the horizon, she lent towards me with a smile. We were two curious girls just playing around, still blissfully naïve and unaware. It was short and her lips were soft and afterwards we giggled innocently. I still remember the soft golden glow of the setting sun lining the leaves and the hills and her dark chocolate curls. And I remember her orange sundress.
The second time was just as chaste, and just as sweet. Her laugh, like tinkling bells, rung out as she brushed cookie crumbs from my hair. I still don't know how they got there. It was 10:30 pm, far past our bed time, and we felt brave and rebellious as we devoured a sweet midnight feast of chocolate chip cookies and a fresh jar of pickles stolen from the pantry. As our eyes locked, the jar of pickles and mess of cookie crumbs where soon forgotten. Lips pressed against lips gently. Hearts raced each other, beating steadily faster, faster, till I thought mine might explode inside my chest. As she pulled away she smiled shyly and glanced towards the pickles.
"I bags the biggest one". And the kiss was thought of no more, it was just a fact, not a question to be pondered over. I threw a hand full of cookie crumbs into her neatly brushed her, distracting her enough to steal the slippery pickle from her small fingers, and nothing changed between us. Stolen kisses in the dark of night where just a part of Demi Selena Lovato Gomez.
I went so long thinking that's how all best friends where. Didn't everyone else get that tingly feeling all over their skin when ever their best friend smiled at them? Didn't their stomach churn each time their best friend held their hand or snuggled close to them late at night? With us, the line between friends and more was so blurred that we crossed over it without realizing it was ever there. Fingers where always intertwined, lips left stomachs churning with butterflies as the pressed against soft skin and flushed cheeks. It all just felt so right, so perfect, so just how it should be.
When we reached high school it all came out, blunt and harsh. It soon became obvious that other best friends weren't quite as close as us. These feelings I had were certainly not as normal as I had thought, and reality came crashing down upon us.
"Sel?". The word was so soft and unsure, as soon as it slipped from my lips it disappeared into the endless noise of my best friend strumming fiercely across the steel strings of my guitar. The question was left unnoticed for a moment, till she looked up and saw the expression covering my face. The empty silence pierced my ears in the wake of her messy chords, her song long gone, and only concern written across her gentle features.
"What is this?". Out of context, my question made no sense, and she frowned in that adorably confused manor she usually saves for maths equations. My head was just so full, of questions unanswered and confusing thoughts that buzzed incessantly. After a moment I took a breath and tried again.
"This thing? This… us. What are we?" I asked, hands clenching my song book so hard the paper crumpled and eyes fell towards the floor awkwardly. I couldn't pull my eyes back up to look at her, but I could hear the sounds, her footsteps as she climbed off the bed and made her way towards me. I could see those familiar converse out of the corner of my eye, making soft steps across dark blue carpet. She stopped in front of me, the bottoms of her smooth legs and the hem of her brown skirt, still swaying slightly though she was now still, came into view.
"We're Demi and Selena" she told me confidently, reaching for my hand. She seemed so cool and in control, I didn't realize how nervous she really was until I felt her shaking hand touch mine.
"But, we're not like everyone else…." I replied quietly "haven't you even noticed that? Sel, we're…".
"We're special" she smiled, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. I could feel that familiar heat rising in my cheeks and the pit of my stomach. Why did it feel like this was where I always should be? Just staring into this girls eyes.
"Lena. Don't you ever think that… maybe we're not normal? That maybe this isn't right?" I questioned, and the smiled slipped from her lips. I cringed, my heart aching at the look on her face. Shaking her head, she moved in closer, closing the gap between us till the material of her shirt grazed lightly against mine and her warm breath whispered over my skins as she spoke.
"Demetria Lovato. We are perfect. You are perfect. And I would never change this" her tone was firm but gentle, sending that tingling feeling crawling over my skin. In her eyes, all I could see was love, and I knew then and there that, that was all I needed. Just her.
"Do you remember that orange sundress I used to have?" she asked slowly. My concentration was divided between listening to her nervous words and revelling in the feel of her fingers sliding up my arm and slipping round my neck. I smiled softly, nodding to show I did. How could I ever forget?
"You used to wear it all the time, your mother had to make you take it off so she could wash it" I laughed, carefully moving my hand up to rest gently on her waist "which I always thought was so strange, cos it was the only dress you would ever wear and the first time you wore it, your mother had to force you to put it on". I smiled to myself at my smoothness, my fingers crinkling the material of her steely grey shirt as I pulled her slightly closer.
"Do you remember why I loved that dress?" she prodded further, her thumb stroking gently across my cheek bone. I paused for a moment, thinking carefully over it. After a minute I bit my lip and shook my head sheepishly.
"I had my first kiss in that dress" she whispered, pressing her lips against my cheek as it flared deep crimson at the memory "I love you Demi, I always have. And as more than just a best friend" she told me, her voice carrying an edge of desperation. I swallowed, taking a moment to try and remember how to breath again before I spoke.
"I've always loved you too. It just took me a while to realize what it was" I whispered back before pressing my lips against hers. This kiss was far from chaste. It was nothing like the sweet, innocent pecks of childhood, showing naïve affection. It was passionate, and full of a fiery force stronger than anything I'd felt before. I felt her fingers tangle in my hair, tugging gently at the roots, trying desperately to get closer than was possible. Our bodies pressed against each other, hot tongue intertwined and hands holding desperately to this sweet reality which felt so unreal.
We fell asleep in each others arms, content just to hold each other, feeling safe in that familiar embrace. Things got bad at school, the obvious truth turned against them. It got to the point that I had to leave, claiming vicious rumours, though it was really truths spread by vicious tongues. My friends abandoned me, all but Selena who stood brave at my side, as she always would. But then, she was always much, much more than just my friend. She was and is my everything and as long as I have her, I know I'll be okay.