AN: Hey, so, second fic, wootwoot. Written in 2nd person, which is hilarious cause i hate 2nd person. Trying out a different kind of writing style. And my Vonnegut comes out a bit. Uh, hope you enjoy, and sorry about the angst but I'm actually really proud of this piece. So R&R please :)
You can have this from whoever's point of view, but I felt it was Merlin's POV.
DISCLAIMER: I own nada. All rights to respective owners, blahblahblahhhhhh you know the drill.
It begins as it always does.
With a pull. Then a tug. And finally, a severance.
You notice it when it begins or maybe it was always there, but it doesn't really sink in until it's too late.
Because your brain, your brain is telling you 'no, it's nothing there's another reason and it's not you it could never be you he cares too much and it's not your fault this is only to be expected'.
But your heart, your heart is screaming 'he's pulling away it's your fault you must know this it's your fault how could you not have seen this coming from the beginning
it's
your
fault'.
Or maybe you remember incorrectly. Maybe it's the other way around. Your heart is the one refusing to accept the possibility and your brain is the one screaming the facts. Maybe it's all lies either way. Maybe it's your heart's inability to accept this there must be another reason or your brain is too skeptical your fault to believe much in good things.
And so it goes.
But the tugging that painful stretch before the cut increases tenfold until you simply can't ignore it anymore.
But you can't risk it coming to a head because you can't know, you never want to know which part of you is right. And you're terrified it is your fault because why wouldn't it be no it can't be there's a different reason I swear so you don't risk it.
And so it goes.
It eventually comes to a head, as these things do. And try as you might to avoid it, you figure out which part of you is right no no please never wanted to know.
But it doesn't matter, does it, because either way it's a loss and you have to watch him and it's always on his terms always himhimhim walk away.
And you're frozen. Because your heart won out over your head or was it the other way around you can't even tell anymore and this should feel like a victory but the pain is as resounding as a loss. And either way it doesn't matter it doesn't it's your fault it's all your fault you're faced with his back and no no please he's walking away.
So you turn and walk away as well. Blank. And you wonder how it got to this point we were happy we were its all your fault your fault but there's nothing left, so you walk back the way you came. And you're alone with your thoughts no please your fault doesn't matter w h y and you can't make heads or tails of it. But at least you know which part won.
And so it goes.