Author/aspiring alien's note:

Hello.

I am an alien that has invaded Earth.

I live on Pluto and have come to have revenge for demoting my home to a Dwarf Planet.

...

Fine. I'm not. I was lying. You got me.

But I will be an alien that lives on Pluto one day. You can't stop me.

But right now, I am the author of this story who lives on the boring place called Earth.

Isn't that boring?

See, that's why I tried making it interesting by saying I was an alien.

Anyways... this is my first fanfiction ever and it is on Shaman King (duh) so please do not get really, really, mad when you find an error. When I say that I mean you can tell me but don't tell me I am the worst author on Earth because one day I will move to Pluto and then I can say I am the best author on Pluto. Hahaha

Do not be mad that I have a boring disclaimer.

Disclaimer: I do not own Shaman King. Shaman King belongs to Hiroyuki Takei. He is a man, I am a girl so obviously, I am not him. I am a random fan who wrote fanfiction. Again, Shaman King, its plot, the characters, the setting ,the Shaman king world, the spike on Ren's head, Yoh's orange headphones, and a bunch of other things belong to Hiroyuki Takei. Not me.

Rated T

Do not copy my work even though I have no idea who would want to copy my writing.

P.S- I CHANGED THE TITLE OF THE STORY. IT USED TO BE CALLED "A RANDOM GIRL IN THE SHAMAN WORLD" FOR MY OLDER READERS WHO KNOW IT AS THAT. I APOLOGIZE FOR THE INCONVENIENCE.


Chapter 1:

I pulled my jacket over my shoulders and stepped outside. The fabric was loose, but it was enough to protect me from the cold wind. I swear, the weather was out to get me.

Today, the sun was high in the sky but it was cold anyway. The summer had ended weeks ago and fall was arriving. The cold seeped through my jacket and I frowned. Remind me to sue whoever manufactured the jacket—it wasn't warm enough.

I stared at the house in front of me. It was mine. The yellow paint was peeling off in big strips, revealing the gray, cement wall underneath it, and the shingles were falling off the roof.

I didn't know why I was staring at my house, but I assumed it was because there was nothing better to stare at. Besides, a house couldn't tell me that it was rude. Or maybe it was just that I didn't feel like walking to town just to get groceries, and staring at my house seemed like the best excuse I could think of.

For some strange reason that I have yet to figure out, I lived in the middle of a desert. The nearest town took 3 hours to reach on foot, and in order to get groceries I had to travel that distance. What I didn't understand was why the town hadn't moved closer to me yet.

What? I'm the one who should've moved closer to the town? No you have it wrong. In my mind the world revolves around me and I am not afraid to admit it. Why? Because no matter how hard you try to deny it, in your brain the world revolves around you, because you are the star of your life.

After staring at the house for a grand total of 12 minutes and 57 seconds, I realized that no matter how long I stood here, I wouldn't get my groceries. That is, unless little red riding hood passed by me. If little red riding hood passed by me, I would steal her basket of food before the big bad wolf could get it. Then I wouldn't have to get groceries until tomorrow.

But after waiting 5 more minutes, I concluded that the big bad wolf had already eaten her up, thus making standing here pointless.

Next time I see a wolf, I will make sure it tells the big bad wolf not to steal my food ever again. That should show him to mess with me.

Since little red riding hood wasn't going to be arriving (and if the ginger bread man came flying down the street I wouldn't be able to catch him), I decided to start walking to the town-that-has-a-name-it's-just-I-don't-know-it.

I turned away from the house I had been staring at for the past 15 minutes, and trudged in the direction of the town. Okay, what I assumed was the direction of the town.

Hey, what else am I supposed to do when there are no trails in the desert, and I have no compass?

Surprisingly, I reached the town-that-shall-now-be-dubbed-pink-elephant-land-because-I-said-so around lunch time. I made good time. Usually, I get distracted by the amount of sand, stop to count it, eventually give up, and get here around four in the evening.

I think that Pink Elephant land finally realized that the world revolves around me, and decided to move the town a little bit closer.

You know what? I think I should tell you a bit more about myself, because it is much more interesting than listening to the tales of how I walked down Pink Elephant Land Street.

Well, the first thing you should know about me, is that I like bananas. No, I do not like bananas because of their taste. I like them because monkeys like them, and you can pretend they are nice, edible phones. Also, they have a unique shape, and their yellowness can be used to blind people.

The second thing you should know about me, is that I hate pink. Now why is this so important?

Well, I have bright pink hair and am forced to look at it every day. Oh, the horrors of having the color you despise more than anything in the world attached to your head. So, in order to share my misfortune with others, I grew it so long it passed my behind, just so other people who hate pink will have to look at it when I pass by. (If you were wondering why I named the town Pink Elephant land when I hate pink, it is because I hold a grudge against the town. It makes me walk 3 hours.)

The third thing you should know about me is that I am a shaman. Yep, a sha-man. But I am a girl and have decided to be a shawoman, because shaman can imply that I am a guy, which I am most certainly not.

Oh, and I also went to Tokyo a week ago to enter the shaman tournament. And guess what?

I won the three matches and now I have to find Patch village. I say that they are very stupid. Why did they have us gather in Tokyo, if we were going to have to find Patch village, which is in America? Why can't they find a more original way to determine the Shaman king –like who can find the last brownie made by famous chef xxx first? And finally, why is it that they just had to make it Shaman king instead of shawoman queen? It's unfair, I tell you. They are sexist.

Anyway, if you were wondering why I was living in a house in the desert and running groceries when I am supposed to be looking for Patch village, it is because I have no clue where Patch village is. I sort of expect it to appear out of nowhere like all good ninjas do.

Now that you know everything that you need to know about me right now, I shall enter a random grocery store.

Yeah, if only it was as easy as I made it sound.

After spending 10 minutes wasting good time and effort attempting to push the door open, I made the amazing observation that it was a sliding door. And as I was reaching my hand out to slide the door open, my feet tripped me.

No, I didn't trip over my own feet, my feet tripped me. I think they have a will of their own, always tripping me and getting in my way. I will have to lecture them about it later.

My weight fell on the sliding door, and as a result it came crashing down with me. The impact caused the glass to shatter and my head to hurt as I hit it on the ground. The glass on the floor gave me little scratches, but nothing else. Hey, the door shattered under my weight. Does that mean it was calling me fat?

People started to crowd around me, asking if I was okay, and what happened, and a bunch of other questions I shall not mention, because they made me confused. Basically, they all sounded like a big pack monkeys going all ooh-ooh- ah-ah on me. You see, I did not like big crowds of people, but I do like big crowds of monkeys. Apparently, my brain did not like them so they were now registered as a big mob of monkeys. Thank you, brain.

I stood up, preparing to complain to the store's owner about how they should get a nicer door. You know, one that doesn't trick you. That's not funny, unless it is April fool's day. Which it is not, so the door has no excuse.

As I started walking away from the door(because I am a mature lady, and walking away from a fight with a very mean door seemed like the mature thing to do), something caught my eye.

My steps came to an abrupt halt and my breathing stopped. It seemed as almost as though time had stopped as well. I felt my jaw slacken as I could not tear my attention away from the sight before me.

Pie.

My eyes widened as I stared into the big, soft, delicious pastry. I felt I could get lost in the supreme fluffly-ness and never come back. Irresistible.

And then I ran. Far, far away from my sweetheart I ran. Tears streaming down my face as I struggled to wipe them away with an arm.

Why, you ask? I comprehended that the pie on the poster would never be mine. And that thought saddened me so much, I decided to mourn by taking a cheerful walk in the park. Why I chose the park I will never know, but at the time it just seemed like a good idea.

If anyone dared to disturb my mourning they would get sweet-talked into buying me a different pie. If I couldn't have that one, so I would have to settle for another. Wow, I am so smart, I impress myself.

While in the middle of my mourning/ mission to get someone to buy me a pie, I realized that since I maturely walked away from the evil, scheming sliding door, I did not have the opportunity to tell the manager about his bad, bad doors. See, being mature did have its setbacks. But then I was happy when I realized I ran away, so the manager couldn't make me sweep up the mess.

After beating up a couple of thugs that did not have enough money to buy me a pie and dared to interrupt me so they could flirt, I decided to find a map.

Now that I had accomplished absolutely nothing that I came here for (I forgot why I came here. anyway), and miraculously my scratches had healed on their own (Stupid door trying to hurt me), I might as well go look for the map of this place. Maybe it will have directions on how to go to a grocery store without tricky doors.

So, I arrived at the map thingy, but there was one big, big problem. Yes, I mean very big. There was a group of people standing in front of it.

Why was that a big problem, you say? Well, I think they are purposely blocking my view of the map, so that I won't be able to get anything done. That is a form of bullying and bullying cannot go unpunished (when I say that I mean, when people bully me. I could care less when bullies bully other people).

So, instead of asking them to move or pushing them out of my way, I decided to sneak up behind the shortest one and push their head down. I would have normally gone for the taller one, but no he just had to have blue, spiky hair.

What does hair have to do with that? Obviously, because I worship blue hair. Also, spiky hair could puncture my hand, which would not make me a happy camper. You know, I never liked camping anyway, so I don't know why anyone would want to use that phrase. Though I must admit, if someone brought me pie when I was camping, that would make a happy camper…

I almost carried out my plan of PTSOHD, or Push The Smallest One's Head Down, when I found yet another problem. The shortest one's hair was a big spike sticking out of his head.

That is so confusing. How does his hair stay like that? Why is it pointy? Who in the world gave him that haircut? (I want to know-- maybe they can give me a unicorn horn hairstyle)

I had no desire to mess with someone who has their hair as a potential weapon. So, I just walked around them so I could stand in their way.

Yep, so I stood directly in their line of vision and looked at the map. Okay, it was a map. I give pink elephant land credit for that. But it was just a big blob of ugly brown with nothing labeled on it. How was that supposed to be helpful?

Angered by the sign, I quickly discarded my idea to stand in front of the bullies, so they have to look at my ultra pink hair. Instead, I turned around to ask the pointy-haired guy about his hair.

"Hey, do you use your hair like a rhino uses his horn?" I asked him, turning around so he couldn't ignore me. I was already plotting how I could get revenge on the map. This requires very careful planning.

The boy looked taken aback. I think that was his secret weapon, and I just revealed it. Wow, I am so smart.

"No," he said, quickly composing himself.

I frowned. No? That stunk. Boo you. That meant that I would have to find another way to get revenge on the sign.

"Then can you kill this sign?" I asked.

Even if he wouldn't use his hair as a weapon, maybe he could kill it a different way. I guessed he could glare at it until it got really scared and committed suicide, but it really didn't matter as long as it died somehow. Besides, knowing that if he got caught killing a sign, he would have to clean it up instead of me, made me feel really happy inside.

I think I startled him, his brown-haired friend, his spiky, blue-haired friend, and the big blob in the corner of my vision that strangely resembled Elvis Presley, because they were all staring at me strangely.

Hey, don't stare at me like I'm strange. What is really strange is the Elvis Presley blob. So yeah, stare at that.

Or, it might have been the fact that they all despise pink and have been traumatized by my pink hair. Yay fellow pink haters, we should stick together.

"No," he finally answered. His tone held a message that probably was meant to be interpreted as I-am-ending-this-conversation-with-the-crazy-pink-person, even though I had no clue how a tone of voice could mean so much. I guessed he was talented like that.

Somehow, the brunette with headphones looked very familiar, but he was in the corner of my vision where it is blurry, and that is beside the point. (Because the point is on top of Purple Spiky's head)

But, since killing the sign was far more important than anything else right now, I decided to kill it myself. When people noticed it was broken I would tell them it was the pointy-headed guy's fault. Which, by the way, is true because if he had just agreed to kill the sign when I had asked, I wouldn't have killed it. He would have.

So, I turned back to the sign and threw a banana that I just so happened to have in my pocket.

I kind of expected a monkey to come out of nowhere and grab the banana before it could kill the sign, but instead, the banana made a big hole in the center of the map before the monkey could come out. I had no idea how that was possible, because last time I checked, the map encased by glass was harder than a squishy banana, but I did not question it. Either way, I got my revenge. I guessed I was a talented banana thrower. I swear that should be a sport.

"What the…" Blue spiky haired guy started, like it was a big thing to be able to make a hole in a sign with a banana. Maybe it was. In that case, I should celebrate.

"Wow! I am so talented!" I yelled suddenly, resulting in more weird stares. Alright peoples, is it I-stare-at-Keiko-day?

Purple Spike (yes, purple spiky guy was dubbed as Purple Spike because I don't know his name, and I said so) grunted.

"Just ignore her." He said meanly. Yes I said meanly because it is mean to ignore me. Besides, doesn't he know that if you ignore me, I will annoy you more?

I huffed and crossed my arms against my chest, like it would actually make him stop ignoring me. Who knew, maybe it would.

He turned back to Blue Spike, Orange Headphones, and Blurry Blob in the Corner of My Vision That May or May Not Be Elvis Presley's Ancestor (Yeah, they all got names from me—they should be proud).

"Let's go find some information on Patch Village," he calmly commanded. Patch Village? Isn't that, like, where I'm supposed to be going instead of buying groceries?

Oh yeah, it is. Then these weird people must be shamans too. Wow I am so smart, I figured all that out from one sentence. If I was actually enrolled in a school, I would so, totally ace the language arts class.

"Then let's split up and ask people," Orange Headphones suggested. Like I said, he was very familiar. I felt like I was forgetting something very important. My memory was being annoying. I really should punish it.

Either they didn't realize that I was a shaman, and I was listening to their conversation, or they had temporarily forgotten my existence, because they totally just revealed their plan of information-gathering.

I think it is more like they thought I was a crazy person, though. Fine, be that way. I'll pretend to be a normal person, yeah. Because unlike you people, I was sneaky and did not wear my oracle bell in plain sight.

Okay, so maybe it wasn't that I was being sneaky, but still. It was uncomfortable, so I decided to leave it in my pocket that somehow fits anything into it, and it just so happened to stay in there. It was a miracle I hadn't lost it yet.

Anyways, while I was pondering what they thought I was, they apparently split up to ask random people, like Orange Headphones had said.

Well, now that they were gone I had nothing to do. I guess that was not entirely true, because I should have been getting groceries, but then again I should have been looking for Patch village before that, anyway. So, like a normal person that always stays on track, I smirked and started laughing insanely at nothing in particular.

Now normal civilians of pink elephant land were staring at me. Is it so weird to find a teenage girl standing next to a broken sign, laughing insanely? Nevermind, don't answer that.

I randomly decided right then and there that I was going to eat some donuts. The reasons why are that I can, and because I was hungry after all that insane laughing I did. Maybe that's why the villains are never fat, old wrinkly dudes.

So, I went into this nice, little shop and ordered a big box of donuts. Why was it so nice? Because I made sure that it contained no glass sliding doors before entering.

I left the shop holding my donuts in one arm and reaching into the box to fish out another donut with the other. I was strolling down a random street that strangely didn't have a lot of people on it, when I spotted Blue Spike.

He was asking some random guy if he knew anything about Patch village. Wow, he is stupid. Did he really think random people would know about it? Apparently so. Well, I guess they could know something since I, the crazy girl, did.

For some weird reason, even though we were in America, the man knew Japanese, and so did everyone else Blue Spike asked. How do I know that? I stalked him--oops I meant followed him all over the place while eating my donuts up.

Believe it or not, that was rather entertaining. I knew I should have become a stalker instead of a shaman. At least stalkers aren't sexist pigs obsessed with male titles.

Oh look! It's Purple Spike flirting with a big group of girls' way older than him!

Oh wait my bad. He was asking them for information. Well, apparently they didn't have any information, but they did have kisses for him. Pay back for not killing the sign for me.

I wasn't going to help him, because he didn't help me. He best have good luck getting out of that one.

Ooh, he's blushing. He so loves the attention. If I ever got the chance I would make sure to tease him about it.

I snickered as I watched one of the girls lean down and kiss him on the cheek, leaving a lipstick mark. With or without me there, he was definitely going to get teased for that.

Getting bored after watching his misfortune for about 5 minutes, I glanced around for Blue Spike. He was nowhere in sight. That means I could either:

1: Go back to my house

2: Go buy groceries

3: Go find Patch village

4: Get lost looking for Blue Spike

5: Or bake pie.

I would choose bake pie, but since I never went grocery shopping, and I didn't have an oven, that would be impossible. So, I chose choice 6, help Purple Spike, because maybe he would buy me some pie if I helped him.

Yeah, that sounded like a good idea.

"Oh? Feeling shy? So cute!!!" all the girls squealed in unison. That wasn't fair. How come they could do stuff in unison, and I couldn't?

Oh well, it seemed like a good time to interfere.

So, like the sneaky person I was, I snuck up behind the crowd of girls, while they were gushing about Purple Spike being cute, or something else. Personally, I think a rock could be more attractive than him, but maybe my opinions were a bit off. Other than that, I wasn't really paying attention, because I was too busy planning my plan out.

I took a deeeep breath and yelled, "Oh my gosh! A flying teriyaki chicken!" while putting emphasis in pointing my finger in some random direction.

All the girls' heads snapped up to look for something that was not there. Well, it might actually have been there and I was just physic but I didn't think that was right.

Quickly, I swerved around all the bodies and pulled Purple Spike out of the crowd. He looked shocked as I pulled him into some random shop.

I am so smart.

I laughed as I heard the girls wondering about where Purple Spike went. I must be a really good actor. Purple Spike quickly pulled himself together.

"Who are you, and what are you doing?"he asked angrily.

I snickered and rolled my eyes, gesturing towards the store's sign. It read 'Pie bakery' in big, bold letters. Apparently I was really lucky or something. I thank the pie gods.

He didn't seem to understand. I sighed and shook my head. The sheer ignorance of these people!

"I helped you, so you are going to buy me some pie," I said, as if it were the most normal thing in the world to be asking a stranger for pie. Which, by the way, is normal.

He glared at me. "I didn't need your help."

I simply pulled him up to the ordering desk or whatever you call the thing where you say what kind of pie you want.

"I didn't say you did. I only said that I helped you, and now you are going to buy me pie, because I said so," I pointed out.

It was true and he need not question it. All he needed to do it buy me my pie already.

After the use of my amazing persuasive skills that I didn't even know I had, he reluctantly bought me some pie. Then, we ate at the only blue table in the bakery, because the rest were pink and we all know I hate pink.

Well, more like I ate because he didn't really eat, and even if he wanted to eat the pie, I wouldn't have let him. I think he knew that already though.

Getting bored with the silence, I decided to make some small talk.

"Who are you?" I asked, after I had finished the whole pie. Why after I finished it all? Because seriously, who would stop eating just to talk? You eat, and then you talk. That is a moral all of us must know.

He grunted. "I should be asking you that."

I raised an eyebrow. "Then why aren't you?" Because seriously, if someone should be doing something, they should do it right?

He glared. Well, he was glaring to start with, but he glared even more. "I am Tao Ren, now tell me who you are."

That didn't really answer the why-aren't-you question but I didn't say so.

I grinned. "Kobayashi Keiko. Oh—and thanks for the pie."

I stood up and headed for the door. I suspected he was going to say something else, but I had already pushed the door open and walked off. I guess I will never know what he was going to say, but oh well.

Yeah, that is what I do. I leave before I get hungry again and have to ask him to buy me more pie. Normally, that wouldn't be so bad, but I really didn't think I could persuade him to buy me another pie.

Okay.

The end of this chapter.

I do not appreciate flames.

But please do review.

I like constructive criticism.

I am new on here so please do not hate me if I do something wrong.

Good bye.