I own nothing but copies of the books.
True, Sibyll Trelawney rarely visited the staff room, but she was fairly certain it wasn't usually in such a state of disarray.
Chairs were upturned, cabinets were wide open, and the table managed to get itself wedged into the high right corner. Still more objects were getting thrown about from the corner blocked by the mountain of cloaks that had escaped from the wardrobe.
She watched a spare cauldron fly through Prof. Binns and decided to divine some greater information. "What happened here, Professor? My inner eye forewarned me that I'd come across a disaster today, but I thought it was another premonition of that poor Potter boy. Such an unlucky young man," she said, shaking her head sadly.
Amazed that a question was put to him, Prof. Binns paused before replying, "Someone has disturbed the contents of the food cupboard."
Trelawny nodded her head knowingly, "I thought as much; Argus will not be happy to clean up this mess. Such anger I see from him…"
Binns, not expecting to be addressed once more, stuttered out, "But Filch is the one who's doing it!" And almost on cue, Mrs. Norris leapt onto a nearby chair, staring accusingly at Sibyll.
"When I find out who made off with my food I'll personally see to their sacking immediately!" Filch shouted before stamping out from behind the cloak mountain. Almost matching Mrs. Norris's eyes, he gave Trelawny a dirty look before moving on to the other side of the room.
"My favorite! A deviled egg and pickle sandwich! Couldn't have just run off! Someone must have hid it! I can smell it!" Filch raged on, sniffing the air, "But I can't follow it! They're waiting, waiting to watch me give up before they eat it themselves!"
"I could've seen this coming, Argus," Trelawny said shaking her head sadly, "You must be a Scorpio, with the current positions of Saturn and Uranus, you'll lose many possessions. I'm sorry."
"I didn't lose it! Someone TOOK it!" Filch snarled, "And when I find out who…"
"Is there anyone who'd wish you trouble, Argus?" Trelawny questioned, "If you wish it, I'll read your palm to see if someone has currently wronged you."
Filch stopped for a minute to consider. He'd never hear the end of it if he was seen indulging Sibyll. But if it helped at all…
"Fine then," He agreed grudgingly.
Eagerly, Sibyll reached for his hand. She made a big to do with waving her shawls before taking it and settling down on the nearest right side up table. Filch flinched and wondered if it was too late to change his mind.
Prof. Binns floated by the fire place, bored with the proceedings.
"Hmmmm…yes…hmmmm…," Trelawny hummed with her eyes closed, moving her fingers over the wrinkled palm.
Filch prayed no one would enter the staff room.
"Argus, do you have an enemy?" Trelawny asked, still focusing on the palm and her inner eye.
"An enemy?" Filch choked out, not sure to take this seriously.
"Someone who wishes you nothing but trouble? Someone who acts against you constantly?" Trelawny pushed on, eyes open and expectant.
"Well, there's those Weasley twins," he replied thoughtfully, "And Peeves," now sneering like he said a cuss word.
"I'm seeing a dark figure. Has a small shape…very old…and a hat, I believe," Trelawny said, again donning her mystic demeanor.
"THAT'S PEEVES!" Filch yelled, "When I get my hands on him!"
Filch turned quickly, yanking his hand away, and raced for the staff room door with Mrs. Norris not far behind. Immersed in his new hunt, he nearly knocked over the Ancient Runes professor who had then made the mistake of trying to enter.
"Bathsheba, are you unhurt? A Taurus like you needs to be careful during this moon cycle," Trelawny began, "Perhaps you should come up to my office for a reading."
"As much as I'd love to Sibyll," Bathsheba Babbling said, adjusting her large hat over her white hair, "I'm afraid these old bones wouldn't be able to make it up that ladder of yours."
Inspired by her recent success with Filch, Trelawny tried again, "Why, I could do it down here then! True, this room risks clouding my inner eye, but a good seer is not bound by the constraints of location and for you it would be a pleasure.
"No no, that's quite alright," Bathsheba said quickly, "Anyway Sibyll, don't you have a class soon? It's nearly 1:00 and I'm certain you have fourth year divination."
Checking the large clock that remained untouched by Filch, Trelawny responded, "Why yes, you are correct. My, does time fly when one busies oneself with matters of the present. I'm afraid your reading must be delayed then. Goodbye, Bathsheba." And with that, Trelawny hurried out of the staff room.
Satisfied that she was the only one who remained besides Binns, Prof. Babbling moved towards the fireplace. Drawing herself to her full height, she reached for the potted plant that survived Filch's scouring. Pointing her wand at the dirt, she whispered, "Wingardium Leviosa."
Underneath the dirt was a small brown bag, which she took out and replaced with the floating dirt. She returned the pot to its home and made herself comfortable among the disorder.
Smiling to herself, she cast aside the brown bag plainly marked "Filch" in black ink and enjoyed her prize.