Disclaimer: all the x-files character's used belong to Chris Carter in this chapter and the rest to follow. There now I don't have to repeat myself.
Author's note: this story is for fun and supposed to be entertaining, so don't correct me on what's obviously wrong, this is not a WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE game, thank you. just enjoy.
So me and my bf, thought that a lot of the x-files character's, even the dead ones, had a lot of unresolved issues with each other and wondered what they would use as an outlet. Basic therapy was too obvious and boring, so we came up with this idea. Way too much sugar and time on our hands are the culprit for this one
Chapter one
F.B.I. headquarters, the basement.
It was Friday afternoon and Mulder was sitting at his desk talking with Langly on the phone. They were making plans for the weekend to go paintballing.
Paintballing was Langly's favorite thing to do, and it had been a long while since Mulder had seen the boy's.
Mulder hung up with Langly as Scully and Reyes entered the office. They were just chatting about their weekend plans.
"So, I was going to see my mother on Sunday," Scully was saying.
"Oh, that's nice, I was just going to rest, maybe catch a movie sometime this weekend," Reyes said.
They both then looked at Mulder.
"So what are you up to this weekend, Mulder?" Scully asked.
"Just going Paintballing with the Lone Gunmen tomorrow," Mulder said.
"That is such a waste of time," Scully commented.
"You asked, I answered," Mulder shrugged, "And it is so not a waste of time,"
"It is so, you could be doing something more constructive," Scully said.
"It's me, what else could I be doing?" Mulder asked.
Scully became thoughtful, "Guess you're right, but still, it's a waste of time, and silly,"
"You only think that because you're a woman," Mulder said casually.
"Wrong answer," Reyes said and sat in a chair to watch this fight play out with a smile.
"I do not think that because I'm a woman, anyone with a brain, even half a mind, knows it's silly and stupid," Scully argued.
"And why is it stupid, have you ever played?" Mulder asked.
"Well, no, but it's ridiculous, you go around some field shooting each other with paint," Scully said.
"Would you prefer real bullets?" Mulder teased.
Scully suppressed a smile, "Depends on who I'm playing with," she said pointedly.
"I think we already played that game, Scully, I lost remember," Mulder said.
"Ancient history, anyway, it's just silly, but if that is how you want to spend your weekend, then so be it," Scully said.
"I do, Paintball is fun and at least it's out doors, so I get to be in the fresh air, it's exercise, I'm surprised you would be against that Scully," Mulder said.
Scully looked at him contemplatively, "There are other ways to exercise, without acting like a barbarian,"
"What's barbarian," Dogget said coming into the office.
"Paintball," Reyes answered simply.
"Oh, I love Paintball," Dogget said.
"Again wrong answer," Reyes said amused, looking at Scully, "It must be a male thing,"
"Must be," Scully agreed.
"See, because you're a woman you don't understand," Mulder said triumphantly.
"This is just going to go in circles, let it go Scully," Reyes said exasperated.
Scully rolled her eyes at Mulder, who smirked at her.
"So why did the subject of Paintball come up?" Dogget asked looking at all three confused.
"I'm going with some friends, Scully thinks it's a waste of time," Mulder said looking at Dogget contemplatively, "Hey, Dogget, you want to go?"
"Yeah, sure, when?" Dogget said.
"Tomorrow afternoon," Mulder answered.
"Are they going?" Dogget asked indicating Scully and Reyes.
"They think its stupid," Mulder said smiling at Scully.
"I didn't say it was stupid and you didn't even invite us," Reyes said offended.
"Okay, Reyes wanna go?" Mulder asked.
"Yeah, but I don't really know how to play," Reyes said.
"All you have to do is shoot people, maybe Scully could give you some tips," Mulder said amused.,
Scully gave him a sarcastic smile.
"Come on Scully, go with us, I don't want to be the only girl," Reyes pleaded.
"I will not waste my weekend doing something so ludicrous," Scully said indignantly.
"Maybe she doesn't want to go, because she knows she can't win," Mulder said.
"I could win, it's easy, just shoot right," Scully said dully.
"Yes, but you're one woman playing with a bunch of experienced men in this game," Mulder said.
"Two women, and we could take you," Reyes challenged.
"Yeah, we could, we all had training, we work for the F.B.I.," Scully said.
"F.B.I. doesn't train for that, it's different rules" Mulder said.
"All I have to do is just run and shoot right, there's not much training needed, an ape could do it, hey Mulder, I see why you do it now," Scully smiled.
He glowered at her, "Fine, so are we all going then?"
"Going where?" Skinner said as he entered the office.
The four looked at him silently.
Skinner looked at them uncomfortably, "Uh, Mulder, I was wondering if you had finished up that report I asked you for last week?"
Mulder picked the file up off of his desk, "Yeah, here sir,"
"So what were you all talking about?" Skinner asked.
The four shared a look.
"Uh, we're going Paintballing tomorrow," Dogget answered.
The other three Agents glared at him. Dogget only shrugged.
"Oh, I love Paintballing, I haven't gone in a long while, can I join you?" Skinner asked.
"Sure," Dogget spoke.
Once again Dogget got another set of glares.
"Where?" Skinner asked.
"I'll come and pick you up sir," Mulder offered reluctantly.
"Thanks, see you all tomorrow," Skinner said and exited the office.
"Thanks Dogget," all three said annoyed.
"What, he's our boss, we couldn't just ignore him," Dogget defended.
"You could have lied, or waited for one of us to lie," Mulder said angrily.
"When; no one spoke up," Dogget argued.
"Actually, I had nothing," Scully said honestly.
"Me neither," Reyes admitted.
"Okay, fine I had nothing too, but still Dogget, he's our boss," Mulder complained.
"Sorry," Dogget said again.
"Well, it's your fault he's coming, and my friends won't appreciate it, so you better watch it tomorrow," Mulder warned and left the office.
"Well tomorrow should be fun," Reyes said hesitantly.
Scully smiled, "Oh, I believe it will be, I forgot, Mulder's playing,"
"Got plans for him?" Reyes asked amused.
"Oh, yeah," Scully said.
Scully and Reyes exited the office.
Dogget stood in the office alone, "I said I was sorry," he muttered, but realized what Scully said about Mulder playing too and grinned.
Author's note: so one question, should I continue?