"Someone set up us a bomb. We get signal. Warning, destruction is imminent!"
Twilight Town was bombed. No one knows how, no one knows why. People were running through the streets, screaming and shouting. Red, viscous fluid was everywhere. Bodies upon bodies were stacked as high the eye could see. In the air were tiny particles that looked like snow, but weren't.
It was there, standing in the middle of the debris, that Ashton tossed off his overcoat and yelled through the inter-city intercom: "YOU JUST GOT PUNK'D!"
Everyone stopped what they were doing to stare at the madman. Then they all realized the had been pranked and everyone had a good laugh.
Xion woke up. That was a horrible dream. How could Ashton still be alive? Everyone knew he had exploded not too long ago. Xion would know; she had to clean most of him from the crater.
Kicking herself out of the cardboard strip she called a bed, she put on a black raincoat and psyched herself up for the best Valentine's Day ever. Today she was finally going to confess her feelings to that super cute, super special boy!
"You can do this, Xion!" she said while giving herself one final look in the mirror. She winked at the boy looking back at her and then giggled off into the streets. Xion bounced her way to the Sandlot where her crush was always hanging out with his friends. Today was no different. There he was, standing with his gang. Taking in a deep breath, she prepared to spill her feelings to that hunky stud.
"U-um, e-excuse me..." Xion could hear her nonexistent heart beating in her nonexistent ears that framed her nonexistent face. "C-could I have a m-moment of your time?"
Oh my god. The dreamboat was looking right at her! This was it! The moment of truth!
Confused, the blonde haired kid looked at the silver haired kid. They exchanged an assortment of glances, and then the dreamboat sauntered cautiously over to Xion.
"So, I want to ask you a serious question," Xion said the moment the two of them were out of earshot of the others. "Will you..." she gulped hard, "be my..." it was just so hard to say! "...Valentine?"
Silence. Xion's nonexistent heart was kicking into overdrive. She felt like she'd have a heart attack right there! And then, finally, the object of her truest true love spoke.
"No."
You know that nonexistent heart? Nonexistent broken.
Xion just stared. She stared like those people stared at Ashton in her dream. But unlike them, she didn't laugh.
"But why?" Xion bawled through a nonexistent fit of nonexistent tears.
"Not my type." Fuu had made enough speeches for one day. She turned around and returned to Seifer and the gang, leaving Xion unstable and jittery. She was about to fake summon her fake Keyblade when a meteor crashed from the sky, killing her on impact and creating an even deeper pothole into the ground next to where a comet had crashed sometime earlier in the week.
Meanwhile, on the other side of town, Roxas was running late. He nicked a skateboard from some kid and rolled over to the train station. He had just made it in time to catch Riku, who was doing some community service by acting as a postman.
"Wait! I have a last-minute Valentine I need to mail!" said Roxas, out of breath.
Riku took the letter and inspected it. "You don't have a stamp."
"Dammit! I knew I forgot something!" Roxas was about to cry when Roo suddenly hopped off the train that had just docked and offered him a stamp in exchange for a Pooh stick. Luckily, Roxas had also nicked a Pooh stick off that skateboarding kid. Ha, sucker. The two made the swap. Riku was able to send the Valentine to Naminé and Roo was able to return the Pooh stick to the Fellowship of the Pooh. Everybody wins.
The end.