This has been living on my laptop for quite a while. I thought it was about time I finished it. It's a Sara/Grissom little songfic. It's also a companion piece to my one of my other songfics "Be a Man." Although both can be read as stand alones.
Disclaimer: I don't own CSI never have never will although I wish I owned Nick and Greg hehe.
Song I used is Kelly Clarkson's Addicted. I thought it kinda fit hehe... Anyway here it is hope you like
Addicted...
Addicted
Sara watched Catherine sing with something akin to awe. Sara hadn't even realised that Catherine was seeing anyone much less that it was someone at work. Quickly she glanced at Grissom but he only smirked and said, "She needed to do that."
Sara's jaw dropped. "You're telling me you actually know something about people that I don't." "Correction." Grissom said, "I know something about Catherine. She's my friend and considering her mood swings over the past few weeks it hasn't been hard to miss. Even for me."
Sara felt something close to jealousy burning in her stomach. She knew she shouldn't be jealous of Catherine. Grissom and Catherine were just friends, very good friends and they'd been through a lot but he opened up to Catherine in a way he had never opened up to her.
And of course she'd just found out Catherine was very much taken and Warrick was the one she belonged too. Something both Catherine and Warrick seemed quite happy with.
Sara glanced at Grissom and couldn't believe she was still wishing for something that she couldn't have but she couldn't stop the skip in her heart when she realised that he was looking at her. "You want something?" She asked smiling and resorting to her defence to stop him getting to close. "I want to know what's wrong with you, you've been acting strange." Grissom said his blue gaze burning into her on brown one.
She had to look away. She couldn't hold his gaze for very long anymore she was always too terrified in case he saw something in her gaze that told him exactly what she thought of him. Not that she'd exactly ever kept it secret. But her crush had turned into something totally different over time.
She'd thought it would go away when she realised there was nothing ever going to come of it. But she still couldn't give up the hope that something would.
He was like an addiction she couldn't quite leave alone. Every look, every touch it seemed to her like she had once balanced on the edge of a cliff and took a swan dive off the edge but not realised she was falling until she was half way down.
It was tearing her into shreds and she knew that soon she would have to do something drastic. She looked up at Catherine and Warrick who were holed up in a corner, she wasn't sure whether they were having a well deserved argument or sorting it out she couldn't tell.
She looked at Grissom and then away again before he could notice she was even looking. She looked over at Nick and Greg who seemed to be in deep conversation. Nick caught her staring and winked to which she blushed and looked away.
She concentrated on the feelings she wished she didn't have and decided she had to work out what she was going to do about them. She looked at Catherine and then at the stage.
Normally she would never do anything like this, but well, she was desperate. She needed to get it out of her system. It had worked for Catherine why couldn't it work for her?
She looked at Grissom who was in a conversation with Nick and then shook her head and got up and walked towards the stage.
"Sara!" She heard Greg yell. "What the hell are you doing?"
She didn't stop and she didn't look back but she found herself answering anyway. "I haven't got a bastard clue." She took a deep breath. "But somehow I'm doing this anyway."
She'd heard a song recently, a newish one, a one that fit her needs she just needed to find the courage to actually get the words out. She steeled her nerves if Catherine could do it then so could she.
She told them what song she wanted to sing and the girl behind the bar looked at her with sympathetic eyes which Sara just ignored before taking her place on the stage. They music started and she found herself looking anywhere in the room but at her table.
"It's like your drug
It's like you're a demon I can't face down
It's like I'm stuck"
Sara couldn't quite believe there was a song that fit her situation quite like this one did. It could almost be her singing the words. She looked at the back of the room determined to see this through but scared to look at any one of her team mates to see their reaction. She'd never pegged herself to be someone who would do something like this.
But hey she was desperate and desperate times called for desperate measures. Besides after Catherine had done it she didn't feel quite so bad and damn, it had worked for Catherine so she had to hope. Even if it proved to be false while she was doing this she had to hope.
She'd never done anything like this before but she found herself thinking that if it worked she'd do it all over again. She'd had her moments with Grissom but nothing was solid and none of it was really his fault though how many times she'd tried to tell him she wasn't sure, she was pretty sure she'd lost count now. Now, well this was her last ditch attempt at trying to explain how she felt.
She knew he had never listened to her before maybe when it was put right in his face he'd have no option but to look at her properly even if he told her no. At least she'd know where she stood, though she prayed that this prove she was willing to go the distance. She could deal with him telling her there was no chance, it would hurt but she'd deal. It was this backwards and forwards thing that was killing her and she didn't want it anymore. So now it was time to do something about it before she drowned in the emotions that were threatening to choke her.
"It's like I'm running from you all the time
And I know I let you have all the power
It's like the only company I see its misery all the time"
"Yeah!" Greg yelled, "Sara! Sing it!" Nick whooped and Sara smiled a small smile even though her face was flaming she looked at the back wall frightened that if she looked she'd loose her voice. But the support of her friends meant everything to her.
She chanced a look at Grissom and found him staring at her. She didn't think she'd ever seen him so surprised in all her life. Okay. This just might work. All she had to do now was keep going. Get her point across. Finish the song.
Catherine turned from the bar where Warrick had bought her a drink after finally making their way back in after their talk. "You've started something now Cath." Warrick smiled. Catherine smiled and pecked Warrick on the lips. "It worked for me, perhaps he'll see her more clearly now."
"She's not exactly subtle." Warrick smiled. "But he does care about her. I don't understand why he keeps pulling away from her." "Because he's stubborn and he doesn't understand people and I just don't think he dared go for what he wanted." Catherine said with an understanding of Gilbert Grissom few had. Catherine sighed and shook her head.
Grissom was her friend and she wanted him to find some sort of happiness he deserved it. He just needed to be able to see what was right in front of his face. She had to hand it to Sara, she definitely wasn't afraid of going after what she wanted.
"Is this the night for making a point?" Nick asked joining them at the bar his dark eyes dancing. "Could be." Catherine said. "My point worked." "It did." Warrick said watching her with soft glowing eyes.
"Never thought Sara would resort to this." Nick said taking a sip of his drink. "It's the only way she was even half a shot of getting what she wants." Warrick said watching Sara.
"Well if it works then good for her." Catherine said before looking at Grissom. "And it just might." She smiled.
"Why do you say that?" Greg asked Catherine motioned over at Grissom who hadn't moved from where he was stood against the wall. "I don't think I've ever seen Grissom look that surprised." Nick said.
"There's a reason Grissom has no social life." Catherine said rolling her eyes. "He deserves some happiness but Sara's gonna have her work cut out for her when Grissom finally gets his head out of his ass and sees her."
"I wouldn't be so sure." Nick said grimly. "Grissom is so rubbish with this sort of thing. Although for Sara's sake I hope it works." "Me too." Greg said. They turned and watched Sara on stage.
It's like a leech sucking the life from me
It's like I can't breathe without you inside of me
And I know I let you have all the power
And I realise I'm never gonna quit you over time
Sara watched as Greg, Nick, Warrick and Catherine discussed something at the bar and then looked up at her. She could make out their facial expressions and Catherine saw her looking and smiled. Sara honestly couldn't say what they were thinking though she wished she did, maybe then she wouldn't want to fall through the floor.
She knew that her crush on Grissom wasn't exactly a secret. She'd tried to not let it interfere with work but he'd drive her so crazy sometimes she just couldn't help it. She still couldn't believe she'd got up on stage. She'd never been someone to step voluntarily onto the stage but if this didn't work she didn't know what would. All she wanted was a straight answer was it too much to ask?
But Sara couldn't honestly say whether this would work. She couldn't see any other way of getting him to listen, so for once she was going to get over her embarrassment and go for something she honestly wanted. Damn the consequences. At least she could say later she'd jumped in with everything she had.
She just hoped that maybe one day Grissom would understand. That he would get it. And maybe then she'd stop feeling like a complete fool.
"It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you
I'm addicted to you"
Sara remembered the first time she realised she had a crush on Grissom and it had been before she'd transferred in from San Francisco. He'd been teaching at a seminar and she'd been hooked on his voice and the way he was so completely focused on what he was talking about.
It was one of the few seminars that she hadn't been completely bored in and she knew the rest of the lecture theatre shared the same impression. She'd heard of Gil Grissom, lots of people in the field had, but she hadn't expected to be hooked on him as soon as she saw him.
She'd had to talk to him. She remembered talking to him asking questions about his work and how his beloved bugs had helped him solve his cases. It had been a great help. She hadn't wanted to leave and Grissom had seemed to like talking about his work, his eyes growing bright with enthusiasm that now she knew he tried to keep under wraps.
She'd gone to more of his seminars, and she knew he got used to seeing her in the crowd although neither he nor she had ever commented on it. She hadn't noticed til later how getting to see him speak was becoming a bit too much like an addiction for her peace of mind.
She shook her head. Nothing had changed there. And in that instant she felt slightly ashamed of that fact. She had tried to move on but it had proved more difficult than she had ever thought possible. She wanted to be with Grissom but of course only she would choose someone that was completely oblivious to any move she made.
Sometimes she wondered if he did it on purpose preferring to distance himself instead of running the risk of getting hurt. She could understand that. Until she'd met him she hadn't thought of anything but her career. And she understood rejection perfectly well. She didn't like it, she feared it as she was sure anyone else did, but now she knew she would prefer the straight answer over this constant will he, won't he see-saw he had her on. She didn't think she could take much more of that no matter how strong she was. She knew before long her heart would be broken.
"It's like I can't think without you interrupting me
In my thoughts in my dreams you're taking over me"
Of course she knew that Grissom probably wouldn't do it on purpose, he didn't have enough understand of people for that. But still…
She'd made more than enough hints and he'd proved he wasn't quite as oblivious as he appeared when he sent her a plant that time. She suspected that Catherine had helped him out with that. Especially since the card had simply said, "From Grissom" but she had thought it was a start.
A start that proved he'd realised, even if it had been with some help that he'd hurt her. She didn't think she could take the hurt much longer. But she knew that as stupid as it was if he asked she'd go back for more. She'd taught herself to be stronger than that. Seen what that kind of obsession did to people. But she couldn't seem to stop.
It was so different when you were the one that was caught in the middle. She finally understood what it meant to have your heart say one thing and your heart say something completely different.
She knew in her head what was needed of her. She needed to call it quits and give up on something that was never going to happen. Stop reaching for a star that was never going to fall for her. But she knew that if he kept giving her hope that one day, one day, it didn't matter when, he would be with her she'd wait.
No matter how unhealthy it was. But perhaps this would make him see. He'd tell her no and then she could move forward.
She knew it would hurt but she'd get over it. She always did, and maybe one day she'd get over the hurt enough to have a proper safe relationship that didn't leave her feeling like a drug addict awaiting her next hit.
"It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm not me"
She knew enough about herself to know that it wouldn't be easy but she'd battled worse. And she would get better sometime. Even if it wasn't right now. She hoped that someday she would look back on this and see how stupid it had been.
She looked down at the floor and then again away from where her team mates were watching her. She could feel his blue gaze on her but didn't dare look his way in case she lost her nerve and faltered. Now she'd started she wanted to see this thing through whatever it took.
"Its like I'm lost
It's like I'm giving up slowly
It's like you're a ghost that's haunting me
Leave me alone!
And I know these voices in my head are mine alone
And I know I'll never change my ways if I don't give you up now"
Warrick looked at Catherine and back at Sara. "She's definitely making a point. I hadn't realised she felt this strongly about it." Catherine smiled at Sara her eyes soft. "I hadn't either but I'm pleased she is. No one deserves to feel like she obviously does."
"Then let's hope it works." Nick said. Greg however wasn't watching Sara he was watching Grissom who hadn't moved from where he was stood frozen. "I think she might have made a point." He said at last and pointed.
"Should we go rescue him?" Nick asked. Catherine shook her head. "Grissom needs to sort it out in his head. He'll make his way over when he's ready." She smiled. "In the meantime let's toast to Sara having guts of steel."
Nick laughed his dark eyes wide with merriment. "I'll drink to that." Greg hoisted his glass in the air and cat called his best friend. "Whoop Sara! Give it hell."
"It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you
I'm addicted to you"
Grissom looked up as he heard Greg's cat call he'd almost forgotten where he was when Sara had started singing. He had meant to go over to join the others at the bar but then he'd seen Sara get up on stage and he'd stopped.
It had never been something he expected of Sara. Though he had to admit she had a beautiful voice and he could see the others in the bar thought so too. He watched as she carefully kept her attention on anything else other than her team mates. Grissom had to admit he hadn't heard the song before, but he didn't like what the song implied.
Grissom may have proved on many occasions that he was somewhat at a disadvantage when it came to social skills but he was more than aware that Sara would not do something like this for fun. Like Catherine she had a point to prove and Grissom didn't like the way the song was taking him. Did she honestly feel that way? Was he on the right track to think she was singing about him? He didn't want to think so but then when he glanced at the bar he realised the others were looking at him.
"Hey Griss come join us!" Nicky yelled. Grissom had to smile. That was Nicky always trying to make life easier for everyone. He wondered what the others in the team thought, although he couldn't begin to guess as they all had their features schooled. Warrick's eyes twinkled though.
Damn them all.
"Hey Griss." Warrick said. "Interesting night huh?" Catherine jabbed him in the ribs none too subtly. "Shut up Rick." Nick said but he was also smiling. Grissom sighed. He knew better than to try and hide things from CSI's although he had to admit Catherine and Warrick had done a great job. They'd only given it away when Catherine got up on the podium.
Thinking of that he watched Sara again as her voice washed over him. He had to admit she was beautiful and more of a temptation than he had ever expected. He'd firs thought he was imagining it, then when he realised he was seeing what he thought he was seeing he'd ignored it.
That had only hurt Sara something he had never wanted to do despite having no clue about he was going to do about the situation he was in. He watched her giving her performance. She didn't have the flare for the stage that Catherine had but she was beautiful and he couldn't take his eyes off her. And as he listened to the words he realised just how well worded they were.
He was definitely addicted to Sara Sidle.
As much as he'd tried to persuade himself otherwise, ignore the feelings and damn right refuse to think about it, it didn't change anything he still had feelings for her. Feelings he had thought were best left alone but now Sara seemed to be telling him she disagreed now what he had to figure out what to do about it.
"It's like I can't think without you interrupting me
In my thoughts in my dreams you're taking over me"
Grissom had thought he was doing the right thing. He was her supervisor and he was fifteen years her senior. He had thought she deserved someone whole, young, beautiful like she was. Didn't change the fact that secretly he'd do anything for her. But he knew he was no good for her.
Apparently Sara didn't quite see it that way. Though now he thought about it he should have seen it. But then he'd always had difficulty understanding people and Sara confused him more than most. He remembered the last argument they'd had. It hadn't been pretty and though he hid it the time it had hurt. Grissom internally winced as he remembered that night in his office. Grissom sighed and bought a drink while his memory took him back to the night he really had no wish to remember again
It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm not me
Although Grissom was rubbish with emotion he had learned a lot and he knew he'd done something wrong with Sara that night although she hadn't realised how bad until tonight. He shook his head. Evidence he got. Evidence had patterns and procedures and a set way of doing things. People just damn scared him. He'd never been a social person and he figured he never would be. Although he wished now he'd been a bit better at handling Sara that night. He might not be as confused as he was now if he'd had a better understanding but then he wouldn't be himself if he had.
He looked at Sara and caught her gaze. He could have sworn she blushed when their eyes locked but he couldn't be sure. Once again Grissom was struck by how beautiful she was and was plagued yet again by the thoughts that he had made the wrong choice.
He remembered the night Sara had confronted him. Told him point blank she liked him. He'd been frozen in place he hadn't expected her to call him on it. Though he should have done. He hadn't known what to say and then she'd told him she wanted an answer. She'd settle for not being with him but this in between was driving her crazy.
He'd answered that perhaps she should look somewhere else and what had followed was a heated argument. Well heated from Sara's side. Grissom had tried to remain calm while panicking about what to say inside.
Sara had upped the anti though when she stormed round his desk and kissed him before yelling some more and then when she realised he wasn't going to say anything had thrown her hands up in the air and stormed out. Grissom hadn't really known what to think. But that kiss had made sure he knew he cared for Sara as much if not more than he thought he had. It had terrified him but now watching Sara sing he had to think he wasn't the only one.
She was scared too and he hurt to think he was the one that had done that too her. He hadn't meant to hurt her just show her that there was someone else better out there for her. He'd screwed up.
Again.
"I'm hooked on you I need a fix I cant take it
Just one more hit I promise I'll do it
I handle it I'm quitting
Just one more time and then that's it
Just a little more to get me through this"
Sara sung the verse words getting lost in the words not really caring that she was doing this. That she was singing in front of her work mates and a club full of people. Not caring that she would have never thought to do this.
Never been the person to draw attention to herself, but then she'd never wanted something as much as she wanted this to work. Sara dug into her reserves of courage and continued to sing praying that it would be enough.
Sara realised that Grissom was watching her and she lost all her reservations her gaze locked with his and she felt a blush crawl up her neck. But she didn't stop. She only had eyes for Grissom and she prayed he'd finally get the idea. She'd made mistakes and so had he but she wanted him to see that this could work. She didn't want anyone else, she wanted him and she was willing to work at it.
She caught Grissom's attention and felt elation like nothing she had ever felt before when she got a small smile from him. She didn't dare believe that her gamble had worked out but she wasn't about to give up now.
I'm hooked on you I need a fix I cant take it
Just one more hit I promise I'll do it
I handle it I'm quitting
Just one more time and then that's it
Just a little more to get me through this
She knew there wasn't much left of her song. She knew she had Grissom's attention and that felt good. For once she wasn't pining for him. He could see her. See her clearly and maybe this would work and she would get what she wanted. Maybe.
She decided to just give it her all and she threw everything she had into it. She threw out the last verses knowing the words were coming from her heart. This had been her song tonight. The song had been her words. She had meant every word.
I need you to understand. She thought desperately. I don't care what your answer is but I need you to understand. You can't keep treating me like this. I'll just fade away until there's nothing left. How did you not know you have that power over me? I can't keep doing this. You have to understand. I need an answer. I need an end to this one way or another I can't keep this up anymore.
I can't keep waiting for my next fix from you.
"Sara! Keep going!" Catherine yelled and that drove Sara onward. She couldn't stop now. She wouldn't. She would finish damn everything else. She'd finish this song.
"It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you
I'm addicted to you"
Sara looked up then and caught Grissom's gaze again. He was looking at her like he'd never seen her before whether that was a good or bad thing she couldn't say.
"Come on Sara!" Greg yelled. "You're almost there. Give it hell. Give it everything." The words barely registered she was caught in the bright blue of Gil's gaze and felt her heart skip when he smiled at her. That smile had been all for her. Maybe this stupid thing had been worth it. She certainly wouldn't regret it.
Be embarrassed about it later? Yeah but not now. And she didn't think she'd bring herself to regret it either. She'd finish what she'd started and be proud that she'd taken a stand no matter the outcome.
The end of the song was coming and she threw everything she had into it and sang the last few lines to Grissom alone the rest of the room disappearing from her view. She would never forget the look on his face, the amazed yet happy look and Sara felt her heart kick into gear. Maybe he finally understood? Could he finally understand?
She noticed he looked a bit stunned and his eyes were wide but she grinned, finding the confidence from somewhere, and he smiled softly at her. The song was coming to a close so she made it last, she wanted to make sure she remembered this. If this was all she ever had then Sara wanted to remember it even if no one else did. She certainly wouldn't be forgetting it in a hurry.
She still couldn't quite believe she'd done this but she couldn't bring herself to care. Instead she simply closed her eyes and brought the microphone to her lips and sang the last few lines of the song.
"Its like I can't think without you interrupting me
In my thoughts in my dreams you're taking over me
It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm not me"
Sara finished the song and gratefully gave the mike back to the attendant who was stood off to the side. She stumbled a bit as her legs finally told her how much they'd enjoyed doing the song.
The attendant grinned and caught her. "Steady there sweetheart." He whispered. "Don't ruin that beautiful song with a less than beautiful exit." Sara blushed and mumbled her thanks before getting carefully off the stage. It was only then that she realised people were applauding and she blushed a deeper red before getting down. She couldn't bring herself to bow so she waved. Before escaping the attention.
She walked over to the bar where Greg and Nick offered her a dink and she tossed the first back quickly before talking a long gulp of the second.
Now she was down off the stage she had no idea what had possessed her to do such a thing. Catherine had done a better job and the applause was making her flushed and she began to feel unsure of herself because of it. Still, she wondered if it had done her any good.
She didn't dare look at Grissom though she thought she could feel his eyes on her. But maybe that was just wishful thinking. Nick slung his arm around her. "That was brave Sara. Nice job. Good song choice. Good for your voice."
"I have no wish to ever do that again." Sara said taking another deep drink knowing that if she kept this up there would be very little left. Catherine smiled. "Well if that was the one and only addition you're going to do I have to tell you it was impressive. Nice work."
Sara smiled and mumbled a thank-you. "Not as impressive as your song though." "Sara that took guts. Well done." Warrick smiled his green eyes soft. "So boys," Catherine turning to Nick and Greg and Warrick. "Your turn."
"Erm no." Nick said taking another drink. "I've already told you I have nothing to sing about." Greg said. "I'm with Greg on this." Warrick said smiling. "I like everything just the way it is." "Amen to that." Greg said and Nick laughed throwing his arm around Greg. "Admit it you just don't want too."
"Whatever Nicky." Greg said offering his friend another drink. "You needed to do that." Catherine said to Sara. "He might listen to you now." Sara shook her head unsurprised that Catherine had called her on it but called it right. "I doubt it." She said looking at the floor. "Then he's an idiot." Greg said hugging her before he and Nick went back to the bar to get another drink.
Sara looked up and saw Grissom looking at her but making no move to come and get her. She sighed. "Right well I've made a fool of myself enough for one night I think I'm gonna go home."
Warrick shook his head. "Don't do that Sara. Stay with us. Have some fun." She shook her head and said, "It was worth the risk but it didn't work. I'm going home." With that she collected her things and headed in the direction of the exit.
Only then did Grissom make his way over looking just slightly dazed. Catherine and Warrick rolled their eyes. Why wasn't he following her? "She's gone that way Griss." Warrick said. "I suggest you follow her."
Grissom followed the way Warrick was pointing with his eyes but shook his head. "I'm no good for her." Catherine and Warrick looked like they couldn't believe what they were hearing and Catherine decided it was time for payback.
"Grissom, you and Sara were just telling me what an idiot I was being. Take your own advice and go after her." Catherine said. "Griss listen to Catherine. This might be your last chance." Catherine grabbed her friend by the shoulders and forced him to look at her. "Grissom as Sara said to me, if you can't see what a great girl Sara is and how much she wants to be with you then you're blind. You also don't deserve her."
Grissom looked at Catherine and Warrick before shaking his head and without saying anything else he turned and headed towards the exit after Sara. "Thank-god." Catherine said putting her head on Warrick's shoulder.
"Want another drink before we go home?" She asked her eyes twinkling. "You're on." He laughed. "Yeah. Let's do it." With that they joined Nick and Greg at the bar.
Sara cursed her stupidity what had possessed her to think that singing a god damn song would change anything? Now the whole team knew. Not that she thought they hadn't before but at least she'd never acknowledged it before. She wished she hadn't made a bathroom break but she had to make sure she wasn't going to cry before taking herself home. She didn't want anyone to see her tears.
She was heading into the car park when she heard someone call her name. She froze. She had to be imagining the voice. It couldn't be him. Slowly she pivoted round and found Grissom stood a few feet away from her looking at her.
"Where are you going?" He asked softly. "Home." She said shortly looking at the floor. "Where else would I be going?" "I didn't think you'd just leave." Grissom said instead. "I've embarrassed myself enough for one night now all I want to go home." "No one thought you embarrassed yourself." Grissom said stepping closer. "We all thought you did a good job."
"I thought you did a good job." He said after a breath. Sara couldn't help but hear the emphasis on the I. "We need to talk how about I give you a lift home?" Sara stared at Grissom and he simply offered her a small smile and led her to his car.
Grissom opened the door for her and then got in the drivers side but made no move to put the keys in the ignition. "So, your voice sounded beautiful singing that song." Sara blushed and looked through the windshield. "You think?" She asked quietly.
"Yeah I do. Do you really think I treat you like that?" Grissom said turning and looking at her. "Sometimes." Sara said softly. "I never meant to." Grissom said. "I just think you could have someone better, someone younger, and someone whole."
Sara looked at him. "How many times have I told you? I don't care about any of that. I just want you!"
Grissom had heard her say this before but now he was really listening. He watched as she composed herself and then looked at her. "I'll accept if that's not what you want." Sara sighed. "I understand if you don't want to be with me but I can't take this backwards and forwards thing anymore." She looked at him.
"I honestly feel like a drug addict waiting for her next hit. You need to give me a straight answer I can't do this anymore." She felt the tears she'd tried to keep in check start to fall down her face and then started when she felt Grissom's fingers wiping her tears away.
"I never meant to make you feel that way." He whispered. "I just… I don't even know anymore." Grissom shook his head and then whispered, "I do care about you Sara. More than I should. I just.. I have no idea how to show it."
"I don't want you to change." Sara said looking at him. "I just want an answer and I want you to stick with it."
"Then it's a yes." Grissom said simply. Sara felt her jaw drop. "Just like that? After all this time?" "Sometimes I can be an idiot. This is one of those times. I'm willing to give it a go. If you are. You'll just have to be patient with me."
Sara's smile in response nearly blinded him. And then her lips were pressed softly against his and though it was soft and chaste it had more emotion in it than he'd ever felt before. They drew apart smiling.
"Okay." He whispered. "Let's get you home." She smiled and their hands threaded together on her thigh and Sara couldn't help think that doing the son was one of the best things she could have done.
Worth all the embarrassment and pain. She'd do it all again if it meant she finally got Grissom to look at her and see her. Be with her. Yeah, they would have to go slow but this was definitely one of the best things she had ever done.