OK, so this is my first fiction and I never have been particularly good at writing stories so please give helpful reviews and don't be too judgmental :)

I own nothing of Twilight :( Stephenie Meyer got there first.

Oh yeah, sorry that it's so short but it looked much longer on Word!

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The present

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I've been here before. The overwhelming feeling of grief. The hole opening inside my heart. The knife tearing me apart. Edward is gone. For good this time. I should know - it was me that killed him. Renesmee looks up at me, her warm brown eyes full of concern. Jacob's eyes mirror hers, as usual. It is a week since Edward and Alice's deaths and my daughter and my son-in-law are the only ones I have allowed myself to see. Them and my love. Edward was the love of my life. HE is the love of my existence.

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Three weeks earlier

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Edward wrapped his arms around me, kissing my neck affectionately. 

"Happy Birthday"  He breathed in my ear. It was indeed my birthday - my 24th in theory , although I was stuck forever at eighteen. There was something wrong in his embrace, too tight, too desparate. Too final. I twisted in his arms so I could see his perfect, godlike face, and I froze. His eyes were dull, empty. Just like they had been that time...

The time I couldn't think about.

I just needed to know. Of course Edward wouldn't leave me again - had he seen what happened last time? I needed to be sure. But what to say?

"Edward...?"  I tried.

He looked down at me. If I still had a heartbeat, it would have stopped in fear. 

"What?" His voice was flat and empty, just like his eyes. Just like it had been last time.

"You will... tell me? You know... if you... need to go anywhere. Without me." Even after just over five years of being a glorious immortal the absence of a blush was unnerving. 

"Of course I will, love. Anything for you." But there was no conviction in his words, none of the passion we had shared for what seemed like forever. It worried me.

The day carried on. The day which I had once described as the first and last day of forever. I couldn't help but think that the end had come, that the day was over. I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I didn't even notice Edward leave.

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The morning after

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"Bella?" I recognised that voice. That beautiful, wonderful voice. It occurred to me that a married woman (in the very loose sense of the word) should not be thinking such impure things about anyone but her husband. If I was still human, I would be blushing, and he knew it. He knew how I felt about him. He knew everything. 

"Bella?" The voice again, sounding slightly worried this time. In some distant corner of my brain, I registered that he was talking to me. It took a monumentous amount of effort to turn my head and look at his face.

Jasper Hale looked back at me, his golden eyes smoldering with concern, and... something else which I couldn't quite place. Fear, I realised eventually. Of what? Jasper had nothing to be scared of. Except me. 

"Mmm?" That face... 

"Bella, please concentrate. I am trying very hard to keep it together right now, and you are really not helping."  

"Hmm?"

"Edward and Alice left last night."

"What's wrong with that?"

"Together." 

"And?"  

"And they're not coming back!" Jasper exploded. That woke me up. 

"WHAT?" My mind was flying in a million different directions, trying to think of any excuse for them to do something like that except for the obvious. I didn't want to think about that . 

"They left a note." Jasper sounded as bad as I felt. A wave of emotions swept through me. Yes, I was sad but... did I need Edward when I had Jasper? I felt bad for all the wrong reasons - I didn't mind Edward leaving... I... wanted him to. I almost screamed at myself for thinking that. I loved Edward! I was married to him! We had a child! He was meant to love me. And he didn't.

He had done me a favour really. I had been in the whole Edward/Jacob situation again, but with Jasper this time. But now I didn't have to choose - Edward had chosen for me. He had made his feelings towards both me and Alice crystal clear in one action. Whatever came to him or me now would be his doing.

So... that was dire. Please tell me how to get better!

Also, any ideas on how Bella actually finds Edward? I was thinking possibly Dimitri changing sides or Alistair coming back...

I have no idea where I'm going with this!