As You Wish, My Queen
Merida didn't know what to make of him. More importantly, she didn't know whether or not she could trust him. Ever since the clans stood behind her and truly accepted her as their Queen, ever since the return of her father's helm, they were all at last showing their support of her. She wanted to believe the best in her people, yet she couldn't help but be suspicious of the men who had tried to dethrone her. The men who nearly murdered her brothers.
So when Macintosh came up to her and asked if there way any way he could help, "my queen" she decided to test him. Just a little bit.
"That there is, Macintosh." Merida said with a sly smile, "Angus's stall needs cleaning and our stable boy is out sick."
Duncan Macintosh did not look at all upset or apprehensive about this. He simply nodded and, with a secretive little smile of his own, said "As you wish, milady."
As he went off without an argument, Merida found herself feeling rather confused. She had given him what was, she thought, a highly unpleasant task, something far beneath a Lord. She expected some sort of reaction from him. She was even looking forward to his marked indignation over being asked to perform such a task. She had been ready for a fight that did not happen.
Over the next few hours Merida handled a dispute between two neighboring shepherds, drafted a response to a letter sent by a dignitary from another land and argued with her mother again about how she wore her tiara, but her mind continued to wander to the man who was supposedly mucking out Angus's stall.
When she finally went to go check on Angus some time later she saw that not only her horse's stall, but all six stalls in the stable were looking cleaner than she had ever seen them. Merida couldn't believe her eyes. Surely, Duncan Macintosh couldn't have done all this on his own in the short time allotted.
She met Brody, the elderly groundskeeper raking a pile of leaves beside the stable.
"Ach! Good afternoon, yer Highness." Brody said, bending slightly at the waist. His arthritis prevented him from bowing any lower to the ground. Merida had tried once before to convince him that he should allow someone else to care for the grounds now, old and pained as he was but Brody was a man with fierce pride and he told the Queen of DunBroch under no uncertain terms that he would be the only one to care for these lands as long as he was permitted to live. Merida did not raise the subject again.
"Brody, did you clean these stables? You know it's Callum who does that."
"Aye, your Highness, tha' I know. But young Callum weren't here today, ma'am. He were home sick."
"Aye." Merida agreed, "I know."
"But that young Lord Macintosh were here today, your Majesty."
"He was?" Although she had sent Lord Macintosh here, she still hadn't expected him to actually follow through with the task.
"Tha' he were, ma'am. I asked him what he were on about, muckin' about the horse stalls and he said he were on strict orders from his Queen to tend to them. I left him at it, Majesty."
"So, he really did all of this?" she asked him, looking around at the pristine stable.
Brody rested both of his hands on top of the rake his was holding. "Tha' he did, your highness. Tha' he did."
Merida left Brody to his work and walked off, her head buzzing with what she had heard. "His Queen." Duncan called her "his Queen." Merida smiled. She couldn't help it. She liked the sound of that.
As she was heading back to the castle she saw him, covered in muck and straw and looking exhausted. She had never seen him like that before. He wasn't strutting around like a peacock, looking down his nose on all those around him. In that moment, Macintosh seemed almost... humble. It was strange, if not unnerving to see him without a trace of his usual swagger.
Merida teetered for a moment. She didn't know whether to wave him down or let him pass. She was unsure if Macintosh would want her to see him this way. Before she could decide what to do, Macintosh turned and saw her looking at him. At once he drew himself up, proud and tall. He swept her a bow and even from this distance she could see his mouth form the word "milady." Macintosh flashed a smile at her and continued on his way, walking as if he didn't have a care in the world. As though he were not as utterly exhausted as he had looked seconds before. Merida stood frozen as she watched him leave. For the rest of the evening she kept picturing his smiling face as he mouthed the word "milady". It gave her an odd, almost giddy rush to think of it.
The next day he sought her out again. He bowed low and smiled at her and Merida noticed his eyes were not brown, as she had once thought they were. They were green. Or almost green. She saw flecks of amber and gold in there too. Merida blinked her own eyes and looked away.
"Is there anything I can do for you, Your Highness?" His voice was gentle. There was no hint of mockery. No joke or swagger. He was sincere in his request.
"No, Lord Macintosh. There's nothing... nothing I need, thank you."
Merida risked a glance up at him. Again, his eyes held her transfixed. He did not look away. Merida felt a rush of heat and her heart started pounding. She knew her cheeks must be flushing. This was something she had not experienced before. And it scared the shit out of her.
She turned without another word and left him standing in the hall. Merida walked quickly, trying to put space between herself and that feeling she had when she looked into his eyes. But those eyes seemed to follow her. And it wasn't just that. Though she was no longer looking at him, she remembered the way his bare shoulders looked in the light of the torches lining the walls. The way his hair fell partially in his eyes. But most of all she remembered that look in his face. He looked nervous and excited, sad and beautiful all at the same time.
She needed to get out. She needed to clear her head. She went back out to the stables and unlatched Angus's stall. Unfortunately the pristine stalls only reminded her once more of Lord Macintosh. She nearly ran as she pulled Angus by the reins. Once they were out of the stables she swung her leg over her horse.
"Hyah!" the rush of the wind in her hair and the thumping of Angus's hooves on the ground drowned out any thought of Macintosh.
For the next three days Merida avoided any contact with Macintosh. She spent her time either out riding or shut up in her study, busying herself with all the various tasks the accompany ruling a kingdom. She avoided clan gatherings, if she could help it. If not, she deliberately looked anywhere other than at Macintosh. Yet the more she tried to ignore him, the more she pretended he did not affect her, the more her eyes became drawn toward him. The more she found herself watching him from her spot on the throne.
On one such day, a festival day to welcome in the warm summer months, Merida found her eyes continually drawn toward Macintosh, particularly when he danced with the other young maidens. She did not like this. She did not want to care what he was doing. Waving her mother off with a vague excuse, Merida left the hall and the castle, deciding that a walk out on the grounds would be a good way to clear her head.
Merida heard running footsteps behind her. Her instinct was to grab her bow and notch an arrow, but she had neither of them on her. She spun around and saw Duncan Macintosh walking toward her. He stopped once he reached her, looking more nervous than she had ever seen him before. As always, he bowed low to her. "Your Majesty." he said, "I was wondering if you'd do me the honor of allowing me to walk with you."
No, her brain said. No, don't do it. He's beautiful but he tried to kill your brothers and you can't trust him. But he cleaned those stalls and he's been so kind to you lately and maybe there's more to him than you think.
"Yes." Merida heard herself say. They stood awkwardly there for a few seconds and then Duncan turned and started walking along the castle wall, toward a river in the distance. Merida fell into step beside him. They walked in silence for a while. Merida's arms swung stupidly at her side and again she wished she had her bow with her, if for no other reason than to have something to do. She brought her hands together and absentmindedly played with her fingers.
They walked all the way to the river before either of them said anything.
"I... I'm sorry for what we did. For how the clans have always treated you before." Macintosh said. Merida looked over at him. There was sincerity in his voice and in those stunningly green eyes. Merida wanted so badly to believe him but she couldn't. Not yet. She stopped walking and he turned to face her. He was only a foot in front of her.
"You banished me mother." Merida said quietly.
"We did." he said.
"You were going to kill me brothers."
"Aye." Duncan continued to look at her.
There it was again. The sadness behind his eyes.
"Why?" Merida tried to keep her voice calm. Beneath all of her newfound emotions was one she knew very well- anger. Beautiful and shockingly kind though he was, she could not ignore the fact that he once tried to destroy her family. All in the name of taking her place as ruling monarch.
Duncan for once looked uncomfortable. He stepped away from Merida and sat on a low log that was lying nearby. "My brother." Duncan spoke to the ground, not meeting Merida's eyes. "Ewan. He was a year younger than I and I loved him."
Merida sat on the log beside him. She watched him while he spoke to the ground. "That day. That battle with the southern invaders... I told him not to come. I told him he was too young but he didn't listen. He was run through by the first knight he faced."
Merida was stunned. She saw a tear slide down Duncan's cheek and land on his hand. He brushed it off and looked up, trying to compose himself.
"I blamed you." There was no anger in his voice now. No accusation. He was stating fact. "I blamed your whole family for Ewan's death. He wasn't supposed to be in the battle at all but he died and I needed to blame you. I'm sorry."
Merida placed her hand on Duncan's and he looked at her. She placed her other hand on his face. His cheek was warm and soft and slightly wet. She brushed away the remnants of a tear. Then she leaned toward him. Their lips met.
There awoke within her a new and sudden desire. She wanted to kiss Duncan and keep kissing him and possibly never stop. She placed her arms around his neck and Duncan responded; wrapping his own large, strong arms around her slim waist.
Minutes passed and they broke apart. Merida kept her arms around his neck. She bent her head and closed her eyes, trying to take in what had just happened. Duncan placed his forehead on hers. They stayed that way for a while. Merida felt slightly dizzy. As though the world were spinning and she was being tossed along with it. Then slowly the feeling subsided and Merida dropped her arms. Nervously, she opened her eyes.
Duncan was smiling at her. A strange smile she had never seen before. There was joy there but the hint of something else. He looked almost shy. Merida attempted a smile and stood up. She was filled with adrenaline and desire and felt the desperate need to keep walking.
In an instant Duncan was beside her. He walked her back to the castle. Then he bowed low and with a sly and secretive smile bid her goodnight. Merida smiled back and as she walked up to her chambers, she tried and failed not to think about what had just happened. She could still feel Duncan's lips on her own. She could still feel his arms on her waist.