So dark...

So cold...

I wake up on my side, feeling cold concrete against my body. Slowly I manage to push myself up and blink my eyes several times to try and get used to the gloom, yet it doesn't work, it's pitch black, wherever I am. I strain my ears to hear anything but again strangely there are no sounds to help me identify my location.

"Hello?" I call but my voice just reverberates back to me yet it seems to go one forever.

Suddenly a light penetrates the blackness. I turn to see a monitor lighting up just the desk in front of it. I fumble around in the dark until I find the chair that was there and read what's on the screen.

I laughed; they were my reviews to some stupid Christians who thought there was a God that could save them, what a load of junk. What they believed in was as useful as a person with no drugs was: absolutely no use at all and what they believed in simply could not be believed because it would and could never happen.

I scrolled through several of the reviews occasionally reading a few, some of my few, to me, convincing ones:

"I can't believe you idiots even believe that junk! Heaven and Hell are on Earth, there is no God or Satan."

And

"You must be really stupid if you think I'll believe for one second that someone would die for people he didn't know when the ones he did know obviously hated him! Get into the real world and do something important like drugs"

As I scrolled through the rest of my reviews I felt a weight drop onto the back of my chair. Curious I turned around to look at what it was and nearly fainted when I saw that it was a hand, with a scar from a nail that had been hammered right through the palm. I followed the arm up and looked into the face of a man who looked down at me sadly.

I clutched at my heart as I suddenly felt it start beating rapidly.

"W-Who are you?" I stutter out though I know the answer.

"You already know who I am." He answered calmly.

I felt myself fall to the concrete and retch up bile. As the thick, grimy liquid clings to my trembling lower lip I just feel myself start crying, tears fall from my eyes and down my cheeks, not little sobs, loud wailing despairing sobs that shook the soul.

I look up into his face; I'm surprised to see him crying to, though not as much as I am.

"Jesus..." I cry but I can't even begin to form an apology sincere enough for what I did to him, to his people.

"Jesus I'm so-so sorry." I cry saying the only thing I could as I retch up yet again hoping to escape the torture I know that will inevitably come.

He just looked at me sadly through his dark eyes and placed his hand comfortingly on the back of my head but I push it away, angry at him because I felt it was his fault that I was ending up like this.

"What kind of God would sentence his own creation to eternal torment!" I shout through my tears.

"The kind that gives his creations the freedom they deserve and desire." He answered kindly.

I knew he spoke the truth but I didn't want to believe it. I looked up at him again, he gestured toward the computer screen still glowing on the desk. I obediently look back to the monitor and see the emails my best friend had sent me, trying to tell me, warn me of this. I picked out two verses she'd sent me that told me all I needed to know:

For the wages of sin is death

And

I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the father except through me

"I never knew you." He whispered "she did, she did what I called her to do, I called her to worship me and preach my gospel. She did both obediently though she was teased and her friends barely spoke to her."

I started crying again, she'd warned me, and now it was too late, too late to tell her that I believe her, too late to go to heaven. The weight on my chair vanishes, I turn around to see what happened and Jesus had disappeared.

I turn back to the monitor and it has started to fade. I bash my fists against it shouting at it not to fade. The last thing I see before the monitor fades completely was my open denial of everything Jesus stood for.

Then I just started running, I didn't know where I was going. I then register thousands of screams, all souls who had also denied the truth I eventually run into a wall and place my hand against it. I sink to the floor on my knee's crying and whispering an apology though I knew it wouldn't help, it was too late for me.

"I didn't need this." I whisper with my head in my hands.

"No," An evil voice whispers in my head "You wanted it, you DEMANDED it"