I Love her..I love a woman who is my enemy, a woman who if my feelings were known would make me a traitor, a woman the wizarding world are either scared of or in awe of. It is inconceivable, how could I fall for her? I am of 'dirty blood' and am considered unworthy of her attention. Yet my heart will never listen to my head. Why am I lusting over her so much? I go to bed at night and instead of sleeping I lay tossing and turning while her cackle and those chocolate coloured doe like eyes of hers haunt me not to mention how black curls frame a face of perfect, pale porcelain skin, and how the black leather of her clothes clung to all of her womanly curves. Those are the images haunting my dreams and now my waking dreams too. It has been this way since I saw the dark haired witch at the ministry, had been able to see the beauty beneath the years of torment and neglect Bellatrix Lestrange had suffered in Azkaban. I wake in the mornings and already my fingers are working my clit, pulling from me moans and groans as her name trembles from my lips.
What I wouldn't give to have the courage to tell her, to see her eyes fill with surprise and reciprocated lust, to turn and press my lips to hers, to press my body against hers. Would she respond? Would she push me away? I guess it is something I will never know. Never will I know how her lips feel against my own, how her breath hitches in her throat as my hands skim over her body; my fingers tracing tiny circles over her nipples before undressing her and moving my fingers lower down to the apex of her thighs. Would she be trimmed? Would she be hairless there? What I wouldn't give to know the answer. My hand would have moved lower, teasing the creamy porcelain skin on her inner thighs as my fingers moved to slide over her wet folds before slowly parting them to press against her already wet and swollen bundle of nerves concealed beneath her folds. How I would've loved to hear those sweet sounds come from her as her pleasure increased and then watched her exressions change as I thrust my fingers into her, setting a hard yet steady pace bringing her to a loud screaming orgasm. After I would have held her and kissed hertenderly before licking clean my fingers and savouring her taste on my fingers. How would she have tasted? Sweet? Tangy? I wish I could know. I guess I never will, I am only a mud blood after all.
And what of Ron? He is my best friend and he tells me he loves me. I do not love him, not like Bella. Where was he when I was captured by Bella? Where was he when she carved into me? I needed him then yet he never came, he behaved like a coward and left me there on my own. He used to malke me feel safe but not now. Now I know if I need him he'll not be there for me. Am I stupid when I say I want only Bella? For all of his faults he does seem to love me and he would offer me a decent life yet it is Bella I want and no one else.