The Crown vs. Goldilocks.
Opening speech for the prosecution:
I put it to you, Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, that on the fifteenth of April Goldilocks did allegedly break into the home of the three Bears and proceed to steal and destroy with malicious intent.
The case for the prosecution is that on this night the twenty-eight year- old women in question did wilfully; trespass on private property, consume a bowl of porridge and contaminate the other two while causing a chair (of particular sentimental value to the family) to break. After this the accused continued to sully three chaste beds and pristine sheets in quick and ruthless succession.
The accused - Goldilocks seated adjacent from me and represented by my associate Arthur Knowsby – already has several arrests to her name, the most recent of which led to a £500 fine. I suggest this offence must be treated more harshly as none of the previous occurrences appear to have affected her enough to prevent the infliction of further acts of wanton destruction.
I mention malice, ruthlessness and wilfulness for what I believe are obvious reasons. The accused, although she never finished her education, has (by whatever methods…) had the foresight to evade any serious penalties being awarded to her for crimes committed and indeed thus far has lived in relative comfort. Goldilocks clearly has the mental capacity to judge between right and wrong and the ability to perceive that her actions would affect innocent citizens.
In short, Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury I place before your judgement her crimes as follows;
Firstly. It is common sense that a locked door is a symbol of privacy, Goldilocks invaded this privacy.
Secondly. Food does not 'beg' to be eaten, this personification does not justify eating a fellow creatures hard earned meals. Following this what possible excuse can she offer for having the assurance to judge between bowls and choose her preference? Consequently none of the food was left untouched and the economical Mrs Bear was forced to add good food to the household refuse.
Thirdly. It is plain that a chair built for an seven year-old, in this instance young Baby Bear, is not going to support the weight of a fully grown women four times that age. Of course it broke, beyond repair as the accused knew it would.
Lastly, but certainly not least in her repertoire of crimes, Goldilocks, no doubt fatigued as a result of her clandestine activities searched out the family beds. Here, once again she proved pedantic, not any bed would do for our unwelcome guest. So due to the fact she tested each one with her shoes on she introduced germs into all three previously immaculate beds. There's not much I need to say to convey this totally selfish lack of regard which she demonstrated throughout her entire - visit - to my clients, the unwitting hosts to this thoroughly repellent criminal.
I suggest we unite and make an example of this woman who represents the crippling lack of morals, which seems to have corrupted have the population.
The mistress of deception must not be allowed to cajole her way out of our grasp, such mockery of your position only serves to embolden the rebellion of others. For good to triumph it merely requires that we punish the lawless!
* Okay, one of last years homework tasks, I'm still looking for the newspaper article I wrote that goes with it…What do you think? Or have a fried you're brain? Please don't be scared!
Opening speech for the prosecution:
I put it to you, Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, that on the fifteenth of April Goldilocks did allegedly break into the home of the three Bears and proceed to steal and destroy with malicious intent.
The case for the prosecution is that on this night the twenty-eight year- old women in question did wilfully; trespass on private property, consume a bowl of porridge and contaminate the other two while causing a chair (of particular sentimental value to the family) to break. After this the accused continued to sully three chaste beds and pristine sheets in quick and ruthless succession.
The accused - Goldilocks seated adjacent from me and represented by my associate Arthur Knowsby – already has several arrests to her name, the most recent of which led to a £500 fine. I suggest this offence must be treated more harshly as none of the previous occurrences appear to have affected her enough to prevent the infliction of further acts of wanton destruction.
I mention malice, ruthlessness and wilfulness for what I believe are obvious reasons. The accused, although she never finished her education, has (by whatever methods…) had the foresight to evade any serious penalties being awarded to her for crimes committed and indeed thus far has lived in relative comfort. Goldilocks clearly has the mental capacity to judge between right and wrong and the ability to perceive that her actions would affect innocent citizens.
In short, Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury I place before your judgement her crimes as follows;
Firstly. It is common sense that a locked door is a symbol of privacy, Goldilocks invaded this privacy.
Secondly. Food does not 'beg' to be eaten, this personification does not justify eating a fellow creatures hard earned meals. Following this what possible excuse can she offer for having the assurance to judge between bowls and choose her preference? Consequently none of the food was left untouched and the economical Mrs Bear was forced to add good food to the household refuse.
Thirdly. It is plain that a chair built for an seven year-old, in this instance young Baby Bear, is not going to support the weight of a fully grown women four times that age. Of course it broke, beyond repair as the accused knew it would.
Lastly, but certainly not least in her repertoire of crimes, Goldilocks, no doubt fatigued as a result of her clandestine activities searched out the family beds. Here, once again she proved pedantic, not any bed would do for our unwelcome guest. So due to the fact she tested each one with her shoes on she introduced germs into all three previously immaculate beds. There's not much I need to say to convey this totally selfish lack of regard which she demonstrated throughout her entire - visit - to my clients, the unwitting hosts to this thoroughly repellent criminal.
I suggest we unite and make an example of this woman who represents the crippling lack of morals, which seems to have corrupted have the population.
The mistress of deception must not be allowed to cajole her way out of our grasp, such mockery of your position only serves to embolden the rebellion of others. For good to triumph it merely requires that we punish the lawless!
* Okay, one of last years homework tasks, I'm still looking for the newspaper article I wrote that goes with it…What do you think? Or have a fried you're brain? Please don't be scared!