The Life Of A Spy Not Being A Spy

Dear Diary,

Daddy just gave my a new diary! And it plays music Ugh! Juni is SO annoying. I can't put on nail polish czu it makes him sick or I can't leave the house to go out with Derek and leave him home alone. Sometimes I love being normal, but then again sometimes I hate it, like school. Oh and did I meantion that this diary is like an iPhone, the one that the super star Mikayla has, I was so excited. But when Juni dashed water on it, I started to cry so Daddy got me a new one, more advanced. And only I can get in it! No more Juni looking at my secrets. I'm not writing in my password, because Juni will find out. But I forgot it was voice activated. Ha ha Juni ( if your read this0 Daddy loves me more, and spoils me more.

Love,

Carmen

xxDerkx

my life is derek He's tghe perfect boy! :)

"Carmen!" my mom yelled. "Time for school!"

"Ugh!" I thought. "I'm a spy and I have to go to school?"

"Carmen!" my mom yelled. "Get your ASS down here now!"

Wow, my mom said ass but I can't see Superbad with my boyfriend Derek.

"I'm coming!" I yelled down to my mom.

"OK," she said.

I was seeing Derek after school so I put on some purple eyeshadow and blue eyeliner and nail polish right when Juni walked in.

"Ew," Juni said. "That nail polish is stinking up the bathroom!"

"Well get over it and friking leave!" I said.

"Fine!" Juni said.

"Carmen you ready yet?" my dad asked.

"Yeah Daddy," I said. "Don't pick me up today Derek and I are going somewhere."

"OK!" my dad. "But if he is a two-timing fugly boob, don't say I didn't warn you Carmen."

"OK whatev," I said. "Mom let's go I have to be at school early!"

Juni walked down and said, "To have a make out session with your little Derek-Bearie-Poo?"

"Shut up!" I yelled and I slapped him.

"I was just joking around!" he said.

"Well it's not funny you idiot!" I snapped. "And I'm meeting up with Emily to make sleepover plans!"

"Girls," Juni sighed.

"At least we don't pick our noses!" Carmen yelled.

"Uhg!" Juni groaned.

"OK kids time for school!" my mom yelled as we got in the car.

A few minutes later we were parked at my school the Riffle High (I am in 9th grade). I get dropped off first because I usually get what I want. So then I met up with Emily to discuss plans. The bell rings I groan as I go to Spanish. My worst subject. I am failing. Derek rocks at it though so I go to him for help to bring it up to a C+. Senoria Halko our teacher wrote on the board my least favorite thing: POP QUIZ. I actually got most of the answers and now i have a C+. My worst subject, still. The bell rang and I went to English where I sat next to Derek and we mostly made out the whole class when our teacher Mrs. Geeonmee is not looking.

"So we still up for afterschool babee?" Derek asked me.

"You bet we are biotch," I said tickling his chin.

"OK good," he said.

Mrs. Geeonmee turned from trhe board and asked, "Did I hear someone say BITCH?"

The room was silent.

"ONE OF YOU FUGLY CREEPY BITCHES SHOW YOURSELF!" she shouted.

"Hey Mrs. G you are showing yourself!" Derek yelled.

The whole clas bursted out laughing.

"Any one of you friking creeps want detention?" she asked.

Cricket! Cricket! The room was silent.

The bell rang and it was time for the second to last period of the day, Choice. Choice is where you can do anything you want and based on what you did they give you a homework assignment. I love choice. I built a machine and my homework was to write an advertisement for my machine. My machine is the "Maze" it ia a computer that can shape-shift into over 454,454,565,454 things.

Well the bell rang and it was time for art. I drew a few kids at the movies eating popcorn. It got an A+! I was pretty happy about that.

Then it was time to go home or make out with Derek or "my little Derek-Bearie-Poo" as my jackass brother called him.

"Hey Car," Derek said.

"Oh hey Derry," I said giggling.

"So ready to make out in my new," Derek started to say.

"CAR??" I yelled. "Yay!"
"Yup," he said kissing me. "All 34 of them."

"You're perfect!" I said.

So we got in his car and started making out.

He decided we should go out for coffee at Starbucks and then go catch a flick and go home.

So we split a Javachino with whipped cream and ice cream. And then we saw The Forbidden Kingdom and then we went home. I did my homework. And then I called Derek. And he doesn't know that I'm a SPY KID! So all I say is "Gotta go Derry!" and don't say why.

So the next Chapter will be me Carmen Cortez as a kicking ass bitchy, shitaki mushroomy SPY KID!

Real Spies, Only Smaller (c) -- The OOS Jr slogan.

Derek