Disclaimer: I don't own South Park =D … Don't think I ever will

Where Have You Been?

Chapter 1: Ingenious Matchmaking

"Eric, where we goin' tonight?" Butters asked curiously. Cartman had just strolled out of his room with his hands casually placed in his pockets.

"A new club opened up, remember? We're gonna crash that bitch." Butters made a small "O" with his mouth and plopped himself down on the couch with his hoodie held over his head. It wasn't that he didn't want to go, but there were bound to be many people going as well which only meant one thing to him-eyes. Many of them. It usually made him nervous-especially since he was the one clinging to his boyfriend most of the time.

Kenny was the next to walk out of his room with only an opened black leather jacket, tight looking jeans, and shoes.

"What the hell are you wearing?" Cartman asked with a raised eyebrow, then with a small, devilish smile, "That's the first thing you're gonna wear when you come out?"

"It was either this or the play boy bunny," Kenny replied, then adding, "It was better than what you wore, so don't even talk."

"Ay! I had nothing else!" Cartman called out in his defense.

"Other than that weird ass purple sweater with Hello Kitty on it? Dude, I knew what you were gonna say the second you walked to the bus stop wearing it."

"…My Mom got it for me…" Kenny burst out laughing.

"She probably wore it before you did," he said, "Probably felt someone up while wearing"-

"Shut the fuck up, Kenny!" Cartman barked. Butters smiled to himself. 'He never really changed.'

"I remember that sweater, Eric," Butters said suddenly. Kenny thought in his stance for a moment and nodded.

"Oh yeah! That was how you both started going out together," he pointed out. Butters giggled childishly and Cartman merely rolled his eyes. It wasn't that he didn't like to acknowledge that memory, but it was the way that it happened.

"Where's Kahl? Jew takes forever just to get dressed…" Cartman ended with a mutter. Kenny voluntarily knocked on Kyle's room gently.

"Hey, you almost ready? Fat ass is getting impatient." Just before Cartman could shout out something "insulting", Kyle opened the door wearing a plain, gray t-shirt and light, blue jeans.

"Yeah, I'm ready." Cartman examined Kyle up and down for a moment.

"That's it? That's all you're wearing?" he asked, then yelling, "Dammit, Kyle! This isn't a frat boy party we're going to!"

"This is all I got," he said calmly, "Can we get this over with?" Kenny made a small, "Aww" and wrapped an arm around Kyle.

"Come on, man. Relax. So what if you got your heart shoved up your ass by Bebe? You gotta get over her," Kenny said, then sensually, "Plus, you still got me." He lowered his eyes gently and inched himself towards Kyle's until he felt himself being pushed away.

"Save it for the girls," Kyle hissed, not in the mood to be harassed. Kenny merely shrugged and separated his grip of Kyle's and rubbed his hands together.

"If you say so." Kyle sighed to himself. That always got Kenny off his back, being the pervert that he always had been.

"Come on, let's get going before there's no room," Cartman called from the open door. Butters was already following behind him like a puppy as they headed towards the car.

Nobody protested when Cartman decided to drive. If someone else took the job of being the "chauffer" and Cartman wanted to go somewhere, he always rushed the driver-even if it was Butters.

"Kahl, stop being a goddamn Jew and drive faster!"

"Don't be afraid of the car just because you can't afford one, Kenny."

"You come faster than this, Butters!"

When they finally arrived, the four boys were just in time to gain entrance inside and right at that second, Butters clanged for dear life onto Cartman's arm, which Cartman didn't seem to mind since he was already used to it. Kenny was already heading towards the bar and Kyle followed.

"Man, it already sucks here. The music is so damn loud and the only lights in this room easily blind my fucking eyes," Kenny ranted, taking his swagger of beer and scarfing it down quickly. Kyle never really was much of a drinker, but he was right and they were most likely gonna be stuck until 1 in the morning and it was only 10 P.M, so therefore, Kyle had nothing to do except draw pictures on the fog from the glass of alcohol in his hands with his index finger.

"Shit, all the chicks here are fugly," Kenny sighed, slamming his glass against the table, signaling the bartender to give him a refill and glumly added, "I got nothing to screw with tonight." A curly haired blond girl suddenly made her way towards both boy.

"Speaking of fugly, here's your ex," Kenny laughed bitterly to himself, taking a long sip of his beer. Bebe sat herself next to Kyle.

"Hey, didn't expect to see you here," she spoke in a somewhat friendly tone. All Kyle could do was nod to what she was saying.

"Look, I'm sure you're probably still pissed at me after what happened and I don't blame you and I'm sorry about that," she apologized, "But it was just a one-time experimental thing like…It's hard to explain, but it won't happen again."

"Are you asking me to take you back?" Kyle questioned.

"Well, I don't know about that," Bebe laughed nervously, "But I do wanna make sure we're on good terms, you know?" Kyle nearly chugged down his entirely glass, processing and fitting the words flying inside of his head into a sentence.

"Yeah, we're not." Before Bebe could ask, he continued, "I can tell you're lying to me already. You don't want me to take you back because obviously, you don't like me and because you don't like me, even if I did take you back, you'd just cheat on me again, so cut the bull shit." Bebe was left staring at Kyle in shock as he ordered another refill.

"I…didn't know you drink." Kyle watched the glass fill up and replied, "There's a lot you don't know about me." This was enough for Bebe to give up and walk somewhere else.

"Way to tell it like it is!" Kenny cheered, letting his words slur. Kyle finished the rest of his glass and rested his head against the marble counter.

"Now that you got over that bitch, it's time for you to hook up." Kenny lazily searched whatever was in sight and pointed to a black haired girl dancing with another guy.

"There's your target," he stated, roughly patting Kyle on the back, "Work your magic." Kyle shook his head.

"Dude, are you crazy? She looks like she's already with someone." Kenny merely laughed obnoxiously and ruffled Kyle's messy, red hair.

"Kyle, man wasn't put here to wait. If man wants something, man takes it without hesitation." Kyle stared as Kenny finished up his beer.

"Coming from a whore, I'm not sure if I should follow that." Sighing, Kenny said, "That's not the point. The point is that if you wanna get laid tonight, you gotta act."

"What do I have to do?" asked Kyle.

"Easy," Kenny smiled, "Just make out with her dude." This time, Kyle's stare was a bit colder.

"…. You can't be serious."

"Oh, but I am-and I'm not just saying that because I feel a little woozy and this party sucks ass and needs some sort of entertainment," said Kenny, "Girls dig guys that kiss other guys."

"Then how come I've never seen any girls come up to Cartman and Butters?" Kyle smirked.

"Isn't it obvious? Those two are just special in their own way." Kyle wasn't sure what he was doing at this point, but he rose from his stool at the bar and hesitated for a moment before he finally reached the girl.

Indeed, the girl was beautiful. She had stunning blue eyes and long, wavy black hair with a sexy figure and the guy-well, he didn't have enough time to study him before he quickly grabbed him by the collar and pressed his lips against his roughly.

Kyle let go of him quickly and as planned, the girl's face was stricken with some sort of excitement, but it wasn't until he got a good look at the guy's face that made him start to panic.

"Stan?"

So…reviews are appreciated! More to come!