Hello again! Now I warn you that this is totally meant to be stupid and funny. I got the idea from watching American Idol. If it's funny then great! If it's not then oh well what's the worst that will happen… oh yeah…no one will read it. Anyways, here goes!
A/N: For the purpose of this story, please ignore the fact that no electronic equipment can work at Hogwarts. In this story it can because I need it too.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, and all of the songs used belong to whoever wrote/sang them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hogwarts Idol
It couldn't have been a more normal dinner, on a more normal Friday afternoon in April. Everyone was very glad that the weekend was approaching, as they all needed a rest from the normal rigors of everyday Hogwarts life (It not the easiest thing trying to get to class on time while dodging the heads of statues that Peeves keeps throwing at you.) Anyway, everyone was enjoying the last meal of the week and everything was as it should be; the Slytherins and Gryffindors were glaring at each other from across the hall, the Ravenclaws were having intellectual conversations and the Hufflepuffs were blissfully ignorant while enjoying their meals. However, the normalcy of the day was about to come to an end as Dumbledore stood up and announced that he had an announcement to make.
"I trust that everyone is enjoying their meal," he began. "I have a rather unusual announcement to make. It was an idea that came to me yesterday while I was sitting in my office listening to the WNR (wizarding network radio). I thought it would be a splendid idea if we had a little talent show of our own." He paused to let the murmur that had broken out quiet down. "At least three people must participate. If no one volunteers they will be chosen randomly from each house. There is a method to my madness. The winner, first, and second runners up will not have to take their exams. There will be one round of competition every Saturday from here on until we reach the final four. Remember that it is only the first place winner, and that person only, will get a cash prize of one hundred galleons. We will determine the winners by having a school wide vote every evening after the contest. I shall strongly recommend that you cast your vote based on talent and not which house the contestant is in. There is only one condition; all entrants to the competition must be a vocal act." He had to practically yell the next sentence to be heard over the roar of the students. "By the way the first round of competition is tomorrow!"
"He's gone bloody daft!" Ron blurted out as Dumbledore sat down. "What does he think he's playing at?" Secretly, however, Ron wanted to win the cash prize as much as anyone else.
"I think he's finally lost it," said Harry through a mouth full of mashed potatoes. "But, hey, at least whoever wins doesn't have to take their exams, and they get a cash prize too. I'm not entering."
"Well, I certainly will not enter either," said Hermione indignantly. "Sing in front of the whole school? I think not."
"But what if your chosen randomly?" asked Ron.
"I won't be because three other people will volunteer," she said trying to convince herself, as much as them.
"I hope I don't get picked. How embarrassing would that be?" said Harry starting to worry. He already had enough attention coming his way, he didn't need anymore. The last thing he needed was for the Daily Prophet to splatter the front page with Harry Potter: the Boy-Who-Lived and Singing Atrocity. Yes, he could see the story now: Harry Potter should have stuck to vanquishing the Dark Lord. His singing is about as appetizing as botuber pus. That was exactly that LAST thing he needed. "I really hope three people volunteer," he said.
Harry looked down the Gryffindor table and saw a lot of people shaking their heads. He was very afraid he would get picked to sing. Ron and Hermione did the same thing and looked down the table. Neither of them were satisfied with what they saw, a lot of shaking heads.
Over at the Slytherin table everyone was complaining just as much as at the Gryffindor table.
"Wait until my father hears about this. He won't stand for having his only heir humiliated in front of the school," Malfoy said furious with their ancient headmaster.
"But what if you get picked anyway, Draco?" asked Pansy. "Will you sing me a love song?" she asked batting her eye lashes.
"The hell I will. I'm not singing in any stupid contest." He looked down the table and also saw a lot of unwilling people shaking their heads. Just as he was about to threaten some people into volunteering Dumbledore stood up.
It had been all of five minutes since Dumbledore had made his announcement and now he was calling for every one to quiet down.
"I trust everyone has made a decision on who will enter." There were screams of "We didn't get enough time" and "We haven't decided yet", but Dumbledore shushed them all. "I will call one house at a time and anyone volunteered will come up to the front of the hall. Ravenclaw, have your reached a decision?"
Much to everyone's surprise, everyone at the table nodded. Even more to everyone' surprise no one stood up.
"No one from, Ravenclaw, very well then, Hufflepuff, have you made your decision?" the headmaster continued.
"Again all of the students at the Hufflepuff table nodded and no one stood up.
"Okay. Slytherin have you made your decision, what about Gryffindor?"
When no one answered him he took out a small top from his pocket and threw it in the air. It began to hum loudly as it flew across the room. One by one the top landed in front of people and Dumbledore called them to the front of the hall. The people chosen were Ginny, Ron, Hermione, Draco, Harry and Pansy.
"Well, that's a surprise," said Dumbledore as Harry turned to face the rest of the school standing next to a smiling Ginny, who was standing next to a shaking Hermione, who was standing next to a crimson Ron, who was standing next to a murderous Malfoy, who…well you get the idea. "Tomorrow after dinner will be the first round of competition. The theme will be 'love songs.' I want you to keep one thing in mind…that top chose you for a reason. Now off to your common rooms to decide what you will sing."
Gryffindor common room*
"I have no idea what I'm going to sing," said Hermione.
"Neither do I," said Ginny. "I don't think I know any love songs."
"Why don't you come listen to some of my CD's and you can pick one."
"What's a CD?" asked Ginny as she stood up and followed Hermione to their rooms.
"Ron, what are we going to do?" asked Harry feeling miserable.
"Well, I don't know about you but now that I'm in it I might as well try to win."
"But what song will you sing."
"Oh, I'll think of something." The truth was he already had. He had liked this song since he had heard it because it reminded him of a certain person he had a small crush on. (*cough Hermione cough*).
Slytherin common room*
"I can't believe this," said Malfoy throwing a pillow across the room.
"Me neither," said Pansy. "And you, since when can you sing?" she shot at Malfoy.
"I don't know," he shrugged stupidly.
Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff common rooms*
*snore, snore, snore*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next day everyone was largely anticipating the coming competition. The Great Hall was off limits to students because it was being fixed for that evenings show. Where ever you walked you sometimes caught a snippet of a song here and there. It seemed like singing was the thing on everyone's minds. Dinner came and went in a flash. Everyone ate either outside, in their common rooms, or in an empty class room. Then an announcement was made for all of the contestants to enter the Great Hall. Every one of the thirteen contestants gasped as they saw what had been done to the hall. When they first walked in they weren't sure if they were in the right place. They professors had turned the hall into a giant auditorium with stadium seating. There were enough seats to occupy the whole school but not a person more. As they walked down they approached the stage. Directly in front of the stage was a small table with three chairs. The chairs read: judges. The stage itself was magnificent and had silver curtains on either side. Smack dab in the middle of the stage hung as if in mid air was a banner that read Hogwarts Idol. No one admitted it, but they were all excited. They all walked back stage and the boys went to their changing rooms on the left and the girls to the right. When each walked into their respective changing rooms, they gave another gasp. There were racks and racks and racks of clothing to chose from, and in the girls' case, two separate bureaus with all the make up and hair products they could ever need. Pansy was in heaven. A magically magnified voice called out "You have one hour to prepare."
Everyone was scrambling to find the perfect outfit. Ginny had to help Hermione of course with the make up part of it. In the end all of the girls and guys looked great. They heard the doors open and the collective gasp from their peers as they too set eyes on the magnificent auditorium. They were told by Filch to line up side by side behind the curtain. Once they had done so, the curtain opened revealing the entire school and the judges. The judges were Dumbledore, McGonagall, and unfortunately Snape. Fred and George were the surprise hosts. They all took a bow and were then escorted to a waiting room behind the stage.
"Welcome my fellow students. It is wonderful to be back in our natural habitat," started Fred.
"We have a great round today," said George.
"Well, at least we hope it's great, our brother is singing after all," said Fred. Everyone laughed.
"But fear not we came prepared," said George as he pulled out what appeared to be ear plugs from his pocket. Everyone laughed again.
Fred put on a mock sad voice and said, "Alas, we do not have enough for everyone."
"Now keep in mind that since this is only the first round, the contestants will only be singing a short part of their song. Later on when we are down to the wire they will be singing the whole thing. Our first singer will be…Ginny Weasley," bellowed George as everyone applauded. "Show 'em how it's done sis."
Ginny walked out wearing light green pants, a pretty beige peasant shirt with flowing sleeves and a matching hat. Several boys hooted.
The music began:
Every night in my dreams I feel you, I see you. That is how I know you go on.
Far across the distance and spaces between us, you have come to show you go on.
Near, far, where ever you are I believe that the heart does go on.
Once more you opened the door and you're here in my heart and my heart will go on and on.
You're here there's nothing I fear and I know that my heart will go on,
We'll stay forever, this way you are safe in my heart and my heart will go on and ooon.
The music slowed to a stop and the crowd went wild. Ginny had sung the song rather well and now it was time for the judge's opinions.
"I found that rather enjoyable," said Dumbledore.
"I couldn't agree more," was McGonagall's reply.
Snape however did not look amused. "Well, if you wan the truth. I thought it was bloody awful. You were out of tune the entire time and it sounded like you were in pain." The crowd booed (at Snape).
"Tough luck sis," said the twins.
"Our next person will be Ron," shouted George.
Ron secretly dedicated his song to Hermione. Then the music began.
When I look at her she looks at me
She's got me thinking about her constantly, but she don't know how I feel
And she carries on with out a doubt I wonder if she'll figure out
I'm crazy for this girl
Right now (right now)
Face to face (face to face)
All fears
Go to space
Right now
Ready to spend the rest of my live with you.
When I look at her she looks at me
She's got me thinking about her constantly, but she don't know how I feel
And she carries on without a doubt I wonder if she's figured out
I'm crazy for this girl
Yeah, I'm crazy for this girl.
The crowd loved it. Next was Malfoy. He came out and all of the girls from every house whistled loudly. He had done his hair a different way; it was just messy. He was wearing denim pants with a green silky shirt over a white t-shirt. He gave a small bow before his music began.
You got me lifted, shifted higher than the ceiling
And ooh wee it's the ultimate feeling
You got me lifted, feeling so gifted
Sugar how you get so fly
Sugar, sugar how you get so fly
Sugar, sugar how you get so fly
So high like I'm a star
So high like I'm a star
So high like I'm a star
So high like I'm a star
Azucar
Needless to say the girls were ecstatic. So far Malfoy had gotten the best reaction that is until Hermione stepped out onto the stage. She looked like a completely different person. Her hair was silky straight and she was wearing hip huggers and a pink shirt whose sleeves pointed at the hands. She looked utterly embarrassed because she was blushing, however, that could have been the blush. When the music began, all her worries seemed to slip away.
Every time I turn around
I think I got it all figured out
My heart keeps callin' and I keep on fallin' over and over again
This sad story always ends the same
Me standing in the pouring rain
It seems no matter what I do
It tears my heart in two
The trouble with love is it can tear you up inside
Make you heart believe a lie
It stronger than your pride
The trouble with love is it doesn't care how fast you fall
And you can't refuse the call
See you've got no say at all.
The crowd had risen to its feet. Hermione had been spectacular. She had even gotten Snape to say she was okay, and that was good coming from him. The next person was Pansy. As usual, she over did it with the make up and wardrobe. Then the music began.
Late at night when all the world is sleeping
I stay up and think of you
And I wish on a star that somewhere you are
Thinking of me too
Cause I'm dreaming of you tonight
Till tomorrow I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Than here in my room dreaming about you and me
It was short and certainly not sweet. It was squeaky and out of tune and just not good, well at least that's what the judges said to her. The crowd was more sympathetic and clapped. Hermione after all was not a person to want to follow. Last but not least was Harry. He came out wearing a simple shirt and jeans, with his hair as stubborn as ever. Then his music began.
How the hell did we wind up like this why weren't we able
To see the signs that we missed
And try to turn the tables
I wish you'd unclench your fist and unpack your suit case
Lately there's been too much of this but don't think it's too late
Nothing's wrong just as long as you know that someday I will
Someday, somehow
We're gonna make it alright but not right now
I know your wondering when (you're the only one who knows that)
Someday, somehow
We're gonna make it alright but not right now
I know your wondering when
The crowd had risen to its feet once more, and in the words of Dumbledore, "Ladies and gentlemen we have a competition. Please cast your vote on the way out of the auditorium. You do not have to vote if you do not wish to do so. All you must do is walk into the booth outside and say the name of the person you want to vote for. Do not worry the booth is sound proof. Just a reminder that three people will be eliminated tonight, the three with the lowest amount of votes. Next week the theme will be punk/pop. Good night to you all."
Everyone exited, some voted, and all went to bed. What will next week bring?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This seems very long. I hope it wasn't boring! Please review and tell me what you think! Boring, funny, stupid…anything!