Hellooooooooo, so this is a Mike/Puck bromance sort of thing hahahaha...It switches in between POV, so look out for that hahaha...Thank goodness for Shadesz...I wouldn't be able to write without that lovely guy hahaha

Puck's POV:

I've never been the type of guy to need someone. I've never been the kind of person to need someone when I fall, because I rarely do. I've always been some kind of badass, never needing anyone in my life to hold me up. I've always had steel skin, until now.

It was an average day for me, throwing two AV club nerds in the dumpster, emptying a slushie on Jacob Ben Israel's face and our last football practice of the season. After practice let out, I made my way through the nearly vacant parking lot, dotted with a few cars that belonged to teachers or the kids in random clubs that ran a little bit late on Wednesday nights. It was only 5:00 and already dark outside. I hated the winter. I hated not having football practice every day. Football gave me a safety net. It gave me a reason to feel like I was part of something, even if I felt the most alone. It makes me feel like even if Quinn will always be with somebody else, I still can feel like she is cheering for me at the same time. I can always feel like I will have someone rooting for me, even when I am nothing to cheer about. I miss it every year after it's over. I always feel naked without my football gear. I always felt surges of sadness pulsing through me as I emptied my football locker at the end of the season. The rest of the team would look at me strangely when I wouldn't get all excited about no more practices, no more games, no more sprints or laps. Mike looked at me the strangest, almost like he was looking into my feelings. It kind of creeped me out. He squinted and kept glancing back and forth, like he was trying to decode my emotions. I thought about this for a long time afterward, even when I was getting in my car, throwing the stuffed bag of things on the passenger's seat. I thought about Quinn, too. I thought about her a lot, actually. No one understood how I still loved her. No one understood how much it killed me when she gave up Beth. Beth. Her name sent guilt slithering up my spine. When I got Quinn pregnant with her, I honestly didn't care about her. As time went on, I couldn't handle that Quinn was telling Finn that it was his. I started to really care about my baby. That's why when Quinn gave her away, I was killed inside. I didn't want her to think that her father didn't want her or love her, leaving her with someone else like she didn't matter. For a while after Quinn gave her up, I didn't leave my room. My mom didn't really care. She didn't come in to talk to me. She didn't ask if I was okay. She just stayed away, which probably was the best for me then. I didn't know what to feel. I only felt guilty. I felt that way for so many reasons, too many to count. After that, I was angry at Quinn. I felt like Quinn just wanted to throw Beth away.

I went to see Quinn while I was still mad at her to set things straight, but I left as soon as Quinn said, "I don't care anymore. I should be angry at that child, storming in and ruining everything I had going." No matter how much I hated Quinn's words right then, I still loved her. I could never stop. It sounded awful, but I couldn't let her go. I made sure I let her know, but she acted like I never did. I hated myself for thinking about this again. It left me frustrated, guilty, and just an overall feeling of wanting to kick things. I drove home, progressively more angry as the road went on endlessly. My thoughts jumped around, leaving me unable to feel anything of them. A sense of relief washed over me as I pulled into my driveway. I may not have been safe from myself there, but I was safe from the judgy stares of every single person in the school, the condescending looks from the teachers who think I am nothing but a delinquent, everyone thinking I have no feelings, the crushing pressure destroying me slowly. Home was the only place people didn't look at me like a heartless, feelingless monster. I did have feelings, obviously, even if I made it seem like I really didn't. Rolling people over in Port-O-Potties did kind of make it seem like I had no heart. I just had reason to be afraid to love.

"Noah, can you watch your sister? I have to go shopping," My mom asked me, snatching the keys from my hands. She tried to give me a sweet smile, failing miserably. I glanced over at Ariella, playing absent-mindedly with her dolls on the living room carpet. My mom's eyes flickered to her for a split second as I nodded. With that, my mom was gone.

"Hi, Ariella," I greeted her, kneeling down on the floor next to her, "What're you doing?" She looked up from her toys, wrapping her arms tight around my neck. Her smile lit up the room as she kissed me lightly on my cheek.

"Playing dolls," Ariella said simply, "You want to play?" She asked me, holding out a red-haired doll out to me. I took it from her, going along with whatever game she was playing. I shoved my school things off to the side of the room, getting comfortable on the floor. I had no idea how long I'd be there.

Now, I wasn't "playing dolls" with my sister because I enjoyed it. I didn't want my 7-year-old sister to grow up like me, bitter, lonely and getting into fights every day. I never had anyone to play with when I was "little Noah". My mom was never much of a mom when I was little. She would feed me and give me a place to live, but we were never close. As soon as I could sit up on my own, my mom didn't want to hold me. We never had any family time, except for when we ate Chinese food and watched Schindler's list together. We definitely were even further apart after she found about Quinn and I. Other than that, my mom didn't really have any contact with either me, or Ariella, after she was born. That's why I have been trying to be a good brother to her. I don't want her to feel alone, just like I do. I loved my sister and I was willing to do anything for her. We have done this several times before. Once, I even let her put make-up on me. Anything just to make sure she isn't cracked and broken when she is my age. The phone started to ring behind me, making me jump. I ran over to pick it up, not even bothering to check the caller I.D.

"Hello?" I asked, leaning my back against the kitchen counter.

"Puck? It's Mike," Mike greeted me, a hint of worry marking his voice. I didn't expect to hear his voice on the other end, concerned about something. I definitely did not expect his next few words, as simple as they were.

Mike POV:

Puck has always been the most intimidating person I know. We were on the football team and glee club together and we've talked as "friends" before, but I always felt like I was walking on eggshells. I always felt like if I said something wrong, I would be shoved into the dumpster like all of the other people I knew. I wasn't afraid of the pain, but I was afraid of being more humiliated than I already was. At this point, I didn't care if Puck was offended by anything I did. He really seemed like he needed help with something. His eyes avoided everyone on the last day of football practice, not even shooting death glares at anyone that looked at him for too long. He lost that "I don't care" feeling around him. Even as we cleaned out our lockers and the rest of the team was all excited about football being over, Puck was silent, cleaning out his locker on his own. I was trying to figure him out, studying his face carefully. He looked at me like I had two faces for a quick second and went back to his cleaning. He walked out angrily, slamming his locker when he was finished. As soon as I got home from the school, I picked up the phone to call him. I dialed the phone gingerly, careful to get all of the right numbers.

"Hello?" He asked, clearing his throat, maintaining his badass image.

"Puck? It's Mike," I greeted, hearing the worry in my own voice. I could hear him draw in a surprised breath, shocked by my voice. His little sister was talking in the background.

"Noah, come back to play dollies," She whined, hushed by Puck's husky whisper.

"What?" Puck asked me. I could feel his disapproving frown from over the phone. I hurried to speak, trying not to make him wait.

"You just seemed distant today, you know, just kind of worried. Just saying, my house is here if you need to talk or something, dude. I have to get off the phone, but I'm here," I told him, the words probably sounding a lot different than they did in my head.

"Okay," Puck said simply, hanging up the phone. I didn't know if he would take up my offer, but I just wanted to be there if no one else was there for him. I knew what it was like to be alone and I would have loved to have someone there for me when I had no one else. My problems didn't matter compared to anything else he was probably going through. I didn't impregnate a girl and have to give up the baby. I didn't have everyone cowering away from me when I just wanted to have a normal conversation. I didn't have people judging me quite obviously wherever I went.

To my surprise, a few hours later, the doorbell rang. I bounded down the stairs to answer it, my dog, Meeko, at my heels. I opened the door as fast as I could, revealing Puck, holding his sister's hand.

"I had to bring my sister. My mom isn't home," Puck mumbled, bringing her in. Ariella had two little dolls in her free hand, grasping them by their hair.

"It's fine. She can play with Tessa," I told them, showing the pair into my house, "Tessa!" I called up the stairs, followed by rapid footsteps. My 8-year-old sister bounded down the stairs, her jet black curls bouncing, "Tess, you can play with Ariella," I told her, urging her toward Puck's sister. Tessa grabbed Ariella's hand out of Puck's, leading her up the stairs to her room. Puck smiled at them, staring at the new friends. Ariella didn't even look back, "Do you want to hold hands, too?" I joked, starting up the stairs. Puck replied with a sarcastic snort.

"Thanks for having me over, dude," Puck told me as I closed my bedroom door. I plopped down on the bed, Puck finding the blue beanbag chair on the other side of the room.

"What has you so down?" I asked him, being completely serious. Puck snorted again, like I was joking around. My facial expression stayed the same, telling him I wasn't kidding. Puck's smirk twisted into a pained grimace. He pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket, careful not to wrinkle it.

"Everything, dude. I miss Beth. I miss Quinn. All I have at home is my sister. I don't want her to grow up to think that she has no one. Everyone judges me. I might seem like I don't care, but I do. I don't want Beth to think I just abandoned her and Quinn won't listen to me when I tell her that I love her," Puck told me, not bothering to organize his sentences, "I wrote a letter to Beth. I'm not going to send it, but I just wanted to write down what I would say to her if I ever met her again," Puck explained, handing me the piece of paper. I unfolded it as carefully as I could.

Beth,

You don't know me, but I am your dad. I really love you and miss you a lot, even if you have never even heard of me before. A few weeks ago, your mom had you and we had to give you up for adoption, no matter how much we wanted to keep you. I remember your mom lying in the bed with you, holding you gently in her arms. You were the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. It was like magic. Everyone's eyes were drawn to you. No one could look away. I remember you staring up at me like I was the most important thing to you. That was the first time I was actually happy.

I don't like to say we had to "give you up". It makes it sound like I don't love you and kind of just disowned you. That's not what happened, Beth. I love you very very much. I don't want you to go through life thinking your dad doesn't love you, when he really does. I wish you were in my arms right now, but sadly, I can't do that. You would have lots of friends that loved you, too. You would have Rachel, who would teach you how to sing, even though she would get on your nerves. You would have Finn, who would show you how to play football. There's Tina, Mercedes and Kurt, who would argue about how to dress you. Artie and Sam would show you how to play guitar better than I could. Mike, Matt, Santana and Brittany would show you how to dance like no one is watching. Most importantly, your mom and I would show you how to love unconditionally. We would always be there for you, no matter how much you needed help. I love you, Beth.

Love,

Noah Puckerman

I had to admit, I was baffled by the letter. I didn't expect such kind words to come from the guy who seemed like he couldn't be anything but mean. I folded back up the letter and handed it back to him.

"Wow, man. That's something special. I didn't know how much you cared about Beth," I told him, surprised. Puck smiled a tight-lipped grin at me.

"No one does, especially her. I love her so much and if I had the chance, I would tell her every day. No one knows how much I really love that baby. Why do you think I am so mean all of the time? It's because I'm afraid to love, dude. Everything that's good gets taken away from me," Puck explained, his voice quivering.

"You have people here for you-" I started, cut off by Puck's rage.

"Who? Who's here for me? Who actually cares about me?" Puck broke, angry at the people who hurt him.

"I do, man. I don't care if you think I sound like a terrible greeting card or something, but I know what it's like to feel alone. I know what it's like to be broken. I lost my big brother a few years ago. He was everything to me. He taught me everything I know about everything. Trust me, it gets better. Who says Beth is gone anyway? You just need to give yourself some time to recuperate. We'll float on. I'm there for you," I told him, Puck's eyes flickering at me.

"You're right," Puck mumbled, letting out a giant breath, "Thanks."

"No problem," I said, patting Puck's shoulder. Puck groaned, running a hand through his mohawk.

"Can we do something else? This is getting too uncomfortable," Puck asked, breathing a laugh on the last word. Puck smirked a tiny smile. It wasn't much, but it was a start. I hadn't seen him smile in a while.

"Sure," I replied, picking up the controller to the video game system I rarely used. I tossed him the other one.

"It's on," Puck glared at me, joking at the same time.

We'll all float on.

WOO. Okay, so there you go hahaha...i hope you loved it haha