I've been coming up with story ideas for a long time, but only recently started trying to write any of them down. I recently started work on a novel series and someone suggested that I practice writing fan fiction to get practice and feedback. I haven't tried coming up with fan fiction before and the first thing that came to mind was how Harry Potter could have ended if an actual military force got involved. I tried flushing out the story, and I would appreciate and advice or criticism I can get on writing style and method. for the scene in the story I quoted several line spoken in the books. I do not claim they are main and full recognize this work as belonging to J. Thanks again I hope you enjoy.
The Man who Saved the Wizarding World
Marko lined up his rifle sight as his spotter, Brigs, gave him information to correct for wind speed, and elevation. Marko sent the signal to command telling them that he had the target in sight and was clear to fire. The mission, so far, was going well; Marko and Brigs along with another sniper team had slipped past the defenses onto the castle grounds during a lull in the fighting. The primary objective of the mission was to perform reconnaissance and get eyes and ears on scene. The timing had been perfect, as they were searching for a place to set up a hide, Marko and the others had been able to hear as the magic wielding neo-Nazi—a.k.a. target No-Face—presented his demands. The man was even kind enough to state that no more attacks would take place, but would resume in one hour unless the boy, Harry Potter, was turned over.
When Brigs relayed this to command, they ordered that the two sniper teams were to set up positions on the castle with a view of the forest. With satellite imagery, psych profiles and other info, command believed that target 'No-Face' would probably show himself and that the snipers should be ready to, "take the shot." So Marko and Brigs snuck their way onto one of the tower roofs facing the tree line. It wasn't hard; intelligence had been right, other than a simple barrier—which had been destroyed in the fighting—there was next to nothing in the form of surveillance or intruder detection. These people have magic, how can they be so oblivious to non-magic technology. Even the sniper teem was employing 'non-normal' (objects derived from magic based origins) in the form of a dragon scale cover blanket. He was still amazed by how these people never thought to use something that even they knew was immune to magic and not bother to weaponize it. Every member of the DWA—department of wizardly of affairs—field team was issued dragon scale body armor. Their bullets were even coated in powdered dragon scale—though there was debate as to whether that made any difference. These people are completely incompetent wankers. Even the wizards assigned to keeping their world secret were incompetent. If it weren't for the DWA and their various international counterparts, the Wizards and the 'magical world' would have been ousted long ago. Marko had seen firsthand how the wizards after wiping people's memories would make no attempt to censor digital information; the DWA was constantly forced to cover for them in that area.
Despite existing for over 50 years, as far as department intelligence was aware, the wizards still believed that muggles—what they called norms—were completely oblivious to their existence. Though he understood how most people were ignorant to the fact that magic existed, he had lost a friend recently when he was discovered by wizards and had his memory wiped. William, the poor sot, was reduced to a blubbering wreck and was kept in a mental ward for three months, before he was considered stable enough to hold a job at a post office. Marko tried not to blame the wizards, they, like the department, were simply covering traces of their existence—and you signed a waver when you accepted the job. Still it hurt whenever he and the mates went to see Will and he showed no recollection of the men he had spent almost every day with for over four years.
Well, depending on command's decision that would all change. The uppers were increasingly losing confidence in the so called 'ministry of magic' and its ability to police its own people. Lately cases of magical attacks had increased, and insider info showed that the magical government in Briton had pretty much been taken over. Now that open warfare had broken out at the Hogwarts castle—which had long been a source of contention—the uppers were considering getting involved openly. They had even approached the prime min who had admitted to being contacted by the wizards. Now along with the two sniper teams on site, there were three helicopters packed to the brim with insertion teams and about fifty more ready to insert via land.
All Marko needed was the go ahead and the barrier between the wizards and norms would be shattered. Marko knew the risks; even if they were successful, they were still dealing with magic. The psycho wizards might still attack, because they were norms. But there was danger with not getting involved. If target 'No-Face' was triumphant here, Marko had been informed; he may very well go ahead and reveal the existence of wizards to the world at large. Marko knew enough to realize that the populous was not ready for that. There would be panic, hysteria and fear; not to mention the way in which 'No-Face' would likely make the knowledge known—based on the profile provided it would not be good.
Now it was almost morning and 'No-Face' was exiting the forest closely followed by his entire army plus two giants. Standing near the target, Marko identified—thanks to his codex—secondary target 'crazy loot' and a man big enough to be a half-giant. Marko noticed the half-giant had something in its arms and signaled for Brigs to get a better look. Using his spot scope, Brigs confirmed that it was the body of a boy.
Suddenly a voice boomed over the area as if via loudspeaker, "Harry Potter is dead. He was killed as he ran away, trying to save himself while you lay down your lives…" The voice went on and after a minute Marko was patched directly to command as he relayed the words. When the voice got to the part about, "…join me in the new world we shall build together…" Marko could hear curses coming from the other side. After a moment the group of people from the forest began moving towards the castle. Marko asked for clearance but was told to wait.
Marko continued to relay what was happening as people from within began coming out. "Hell" whispered Brigs, "is that a snake?" bugger it was, wrapped around the targets body was a giant honking snake.
There was movement among the crowd as someone ran forward. There was a sudden flash of light and the figure fell to the ground. Using his scope to get a better view Marko watched as an exchange seemed to occur between the figure and target 'No-Face'. Then the target seemed to place a black object upon the figures head. Suddenly the figure burst into flames, "bloody hell" Marko muttered. Informing command of the situation he again asked for the go ahead. Command was silent, they had disconnected.
After a moment's silence, Marko got confirmation over the radio, "clear." Marko readjusted his sight. There was a booming shouting sound, but Marko ignored it. Taking a deep breath, he squeezed the trigger. Just as the boy pulled a bloody sword out of bloody nowhere, target 'No-Face's' head exploded. Moments later target 'crazy loot' went down, shot by the other team. There was a sudden boom of chatter over the coms as all teams got the go ahead.
In the courtyard below there was pandemonium, these wankers seemed to have no idea what a rifle was, because there was not a single person that tried to go for cover. Along with that there were now three honking giants beating the crap out of each other. Multi-colored blasts of light were being exchanged by both sides. The half-giant was simply stumbling around as if it was looking for something. Marko quickly looked towards the ground where the body had been placed but no one was there.
A few seconds later Marko heard the sound of helicopters. Three black hawks—courtesy of their American counterparts—flew out of the darkness. The free fire order came over the radio and the guns on the choppers lit up, one of the giants fell while the other two stumbled away, still fighting. Marko began scanning the battlefield looking for targets of opportunity, but despite being cleared for weapons free he didn't want to shoot the people from the castle—it was impossible to tell these honkers apart. Marko zeroed in on a person who appeared to be tossing what looked like green streams at a group of children.
"That counts as bad in my books." He muttered, pulling the trigger. The tall blacked robed wizard fell; the children began looking around trying to figure out what had happened. Over by the helicopters the squads had dismounted and had formed a circle behind their MMPshields (mobile magic protection), with the helicopters holding overhead. Various colored blasts were being fired at the men, with little to no effect, dragon scale showing again how useful it was against magic. A blast, shot at one of the helicopters exploded, but after a moment of wild jerks the copter stabilized, the choppers were ordered to pull out before they were shot down.
"Where's the bloody cavalry." Then like in one of those American action movies the cavalry arrived. Armored vehicles drove onto the grounds and from inside they deployed over fifty of DWA's best field troops.
There was a loud speaker extending from each vehicle with, "surrender. Throw down your wands, or you will be shot." playing on a loop.
It took several hours for things to settle down. After continued fighting, the remaining wizards finally surrendered. Most of them seemed completely shocked by the fact that we were 'muggles' though a few seemed to take it pretty well and were helpful in subduing and quieting the others. The craziest thing that happened was when two suits of armor came out of the castle and started attacking some of the prisoners. Since the guards thought there were people in the suits, they were cautious against opening fire. Two men were killed when they tried to talk the suits down. Even after firing a ton a small arms fire into them, the suits only went down after one of the IFV's blasted them with its cannon. Altogether the DWA had sustained 12 injured and four dead. Many were already grumbling about the shoddy planning and timing of the attack, but Marko left that up to others to argue about. For Marko the important event of the evening was when he got on coms with command and was told, "Congratulations lieutenant Marko, you just saved the Wizarding world."
Later he found out that if he hadn't killed the target, command was going to order ex-fill and then firebomb the entire area. After that it would most likely have been followed by joint take down of all known, foreign and domestic, wizard gathering places.