"So, what do you think of Victoire Weasley?"

The steady scratch of Teddy Lupin's quill came to an abrupt halt.

"Fit," came the reply. He didn't need to twist around to identify the speakers; they shared his dormitory. "Especially for a fourth year. Why?"

Adam Kennet's voice was so confident it was bordering on smug, which instantly made Teddy want to hit him. "I was thinking of asking her to Hogsmeade."

Teddy's quill dropped softly onto his parchment. He was so intent on listening to the conversation that he failed to notice the ink slowly seeping across the essay he'd been working on for an hour and a half. After all, his friends were being inappropriate - minor concerns like studying for his N.E.W.T.s took a backseat to such offenses.

"I'm just not sure whether she's going out with that blond guy - what's his name? Mike?"

"Micah."

"Yeah, that's it. I don't think she is, but she's with him all the time, so I'm not sure - and anyway, I'm not asking her out with another guy standing right there."

"I'm pretty sure she's not. I can ask my sister, though, if you want - she's in Ravenclaw." Ollie Hooper sounded utterly carefree as he encouraged his friend's highly inappropriate behavior. That irritated Teddy even more.

"Nah. I didn't think so either. That's good enough." Out of the corner of his eye, Teddy saw Adam stretch his arms about his head. "Think she'll be in the library now?"

This entire situation was getting downright alarming. Teddy knew he had to step in. He wasn't quite sure how to do so effectively, so he got to his feet and put an arm out to stop Adam. "You shouldn't talk about her that way," he snapped.

Adam didn't look properly chastened at all. He only looked confused, which did absolutely nothing to defuse Teddy's temper. "Teddy, what the hell?"

"She's fourteen. You shouldn't talk about her that way."

The other boy examined him closely. His confusion was morphing into concern, which was even worse. There was no need to be concerned about Teddy. Teddy would be absolutely fine once the boys he shared a dormitory with (who he was pretty sure he didn't want to be friends with anymore) stopped being so inappropriate. "Teddy, are you okay?"

A sudden movement caught his eye, and when he glanced past Adam, he saw Victoire's cousin leaning against the arm of the chair. Fred's unruly dark hair was relatively controlled today, as Fred's hair went, and the look on his face was one of polite interest.

Teddy held back a groan with difficulty. Fred and Victoire were as thick as thieves, and there was no way that Fred wouldn't be reporting the entire thing back to her.

Adam didn't seem to be backing down, though, so there was only one thing for it.

Teddy's fist hit Adam squarely in the cheek, and the other boy staggered back.

"What the hell, Teddy?" He lunged at Teddy quicker than the boys that shared their dormitory could lunge at him to restrain him. This time, Teddy's fist struck Adam's nose, and he fell backward, cursing loudly.

"Don't talk about her like that," he snapped. "She's fourteen."

Adam let out a loud snort as he raised a sleeve to his nose, which had started to bleed. "Hypocrite. I get it now - you're just worried I'll get there first."

What resulted was a quick scuffle in which Adam ended up with a sprained wrist and a black eye, and Teddy ended up with a dislocated shoulder and a split lip. They only parted when an invisible bubble expanded quickly between them, forcing them apart.

"What exactly is going on here?" Teddy heard their head of house snap. Professor Longbottom was standing there, wand raised, and an uncharacteristically severe look on his face. Of course, given that Teddy and Adam were both looking significantly the worse for wear than they usually did in Herbology, Teddy supposed that the professor's ire was understandable.

While neither of them could tell Longbottom exactly what they'd been fighting over - Adam had characterized it as Teddy getting angry "over nothing," and Teddy hadn't really had a reasonable retort to that - they both agreed that Teddy had thrown the first punch. Adam got off with one detention; Teddy was given detention every Saturday afternoon for a month.

He felt that this was distinctly unfair, but there was no reasonable defense, given that the context was missing. Without context, it seemed like he'd just punched Adam for talking about asking a girl to go to Hogsmeade with him. That just made Teddy look petty and jealous, which was absolutely not the case. He was just looking out for his friend.

Adam stormed out as soon as detentions had been assigned. Teddy was about to follow suit when Professor Longbottom added, "And Teddy?"

He looked back.

"Most students learn how to avoid detentions by their seventh year, not how to get more. This needs to stop."

Teddy felt his face get hot. "Yes, sir."

Johanna Greengrass was waiting for him when he left Longbottom's office. He didn't even bother to ask how she'd found out; his best friend was remarkably in tune with that sort of thing, particularly for someone who often had minimal patience for gossip. "Again?" she asked, falling into step with him. "For god's sake, Teddy, you never used to get detention like this. What was it this time?"

He shrugged. "I've got detention every Saturday for a month, though."

She shoved him. "Damnit, Teddy, you said you'd study with me. You can't do that in detention. What was it for, really?"

He shrugged again. He knew that Johanna would take it the wrong way if he tried to explain it, too.

It really was all about the context.

He avoided going back to the Common Room for as long as he could; he wasn't looking forward to adding Adam to the list of sixth and seventh year boys who were irritated with him. When he finally climbed through the portrait hole, they were, thankfully, not there.

Fred, however, was. "Hey," Teddy said, dropping onto the couch next to him.

The fourth year glanced over at him. "How much detention did you get?"

"I have to clean the greenhouses every Saturday for a month."

Fred winced. "That sucks. You were kind of asking for it, though."

Teddy let his head drop back to rest against the couch. "I know." They sat in silence for a few minutes, and then Teddy glanced over at Fred. "Er - could I convince you not to mention that to Vic?" The other boy shrugged. "I just - ah - don't want her to know that anyone's talking about her that way. It might make her uncomfortable."

"I'm a fourth year, not an idiot. She can take care of herself."

"Fred."

The boy shrugged. "I'll think about it. No promises."

Teddy knew he wasn't going to get any better than that, so he let it go. Hopefully, if Fred did tell Victoire about it, he'd explain the context.

Because that changed everything, obviously.

A/N: It seems like there's some confusion here, esp from non-regular readers of my universe - I didn't write this intending for anyone to be on Teddy's side in his reaction to an innocuous conversation (inate sketchiness of a 17 year old asking a 14 year old out aside). He's coming off as being ridiculous and inappropriate because he's being ridiculous and inappropriate, and he doesn't want Fred to tell Victoire because he knows that she'll be pissed off at his meddling.

It's marked humor for a reason, guys. ;)

- Branwen